Our Red Eyes
by Dalxein
Summary: Shortly after Tsunade accepts the office of Hokage, Naruto learns of his family's bloodline: the precursor to the Byakugan. [NaruHarem]
1. Shinzenbigan

All right… fourth fic… these things just seem to be popping out of the woodwork, huh? (I told myself a while ago I'd only have two going at once, and here I am with four, not counting the 'discontinued' OC-centric one no-one seemed to like)

Anyway, same rules apply here as with the rest of my fics. No one owns anything they write on this site, and I'm no exception. I don't believe disclaimers are necessary, but then again, that sort of lackadaisical thinking is what gets people sued… so, I don't own Naruto. Reviews are fine, flames are too, as long as you actually find something _WRONG_ with the fic. Constructive criticism… I use a spell-check, so none of the English in here is wrong (although there might be a few typos that don't pop up as 'wrong', so telling me _nicely_ where those errors are so I can edit them is appreciated) and my Beta keeps my grammar above sub-par, so when you sum it all up, there isn't a reason for flames here. Thus, if I find any, I'll put them somewhere that _everyone _will see it; like a forum, along with my rebuttal, so _everyone_ can have a good laugh at you for your incompetence.

I'll admit, a few ideas in this fic belong to my Beta, and they showed up in one of my other fics (the discontinued one. It's got good ideas, so they're worth recycling into new fics) and I got permission from him, so all's good.

I'd like to say I'm sorry about the lack of updates in my other fics, just to be nice, but I'm not. I'm lazy. You want updates, you wait for them. These fics are important enough to me that _nothing_ short of Shinigami himself will keep me from finishing them, but they are by absolutely _NO _means at the top of my 'to do' list. My priorities; my girlfriend, _reading_ fics, watching anime, playing video games, _writing_ fics, and finally… erm… everything not worth listing. (Can't think of anything else to list)

So, without further ado, ON WITH THE FIC!!!

* * *

Tsunade spent the better part of a week rifling through the filing cabinets in her new office, trying to make sense of the ancient filing system before deciding to simply give everything a once-over and tossing it in a pile with similar things.

She had just taken on the mantle of the Godaime Hokage about a week prior, and regretted every second of it. All paperwork… Everything that had to do with being Hokage included a stamp, a signature, or five minutes of filling out. Honestly, she was starting to wonder what Nawaki, Dan, and Naruto ever _saw_ in the job… _Oh yeah… I'm the boss…_ Tsunade thought, chuckling to herself. "SHIZUNE!"

"Y-yes, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked, walking into the office with a slightly fearful look adorning her features. Whenever Tsunade downright _bellowed_ her name, it never ended well.

"Get over here and help me through these, dammit!" Tsunade called, indicating the scrolls and books still sitting on the shelves around the room, and motioning towards the piles in front of her. Shizune wondered why her master was sitting on the floor, and more-so why she hadn't had Chuunin administrators go through all of it instead, but she merely sighed before walking over to help her mentor.

"Now, let's see… history, history, ooh, blackmail material!" Tsunade said, tucking a small scroll into her robes before tossing the others into a rather large pile. Shizune sighed, but couldn't help but chuckle at the older woman's antics.

After sorting through a handful of scrolls and books herself, getting a handle on Tsunade's 'filing system', (if it could indeed be called one) Shizune came across a red-bordered orange scroll with a similarly pattered letter bound to it with wire. "Ts-Tsunade-sama…" She muttered.

"Yes, Shizune?" Tsunade asked. She didn't like the tone in her apprentice's voice. She was worried the younger woman stumbled across something she wasn't meant to.

"This scroll… it… it's addressed to _you_…" Shizune said, handing the mid-sized scroll to her teacher. "To the Godaime…" Looking it over once, Tsunade immediately recognized the seals of both the Sandaime _and _Yondaime Hokage on the letter, and as her apprentice had said, it was addressed to the Godaime, in an oddly generalized sense…

She quickly sat herself back at her desk and undid the cord binding the letter to the scroll. Tsunade only stared at the letter for an instant before slashing the top of it open with a kunai, obviously forgetting there was a letter opener on the desk…

Tsunade swiftly pulled the papers out from the large letter envelope, and unfolded the letters inside. Seeing two other papers slip out of the now-unfolded letters and onto her desk, Tsunade decided to ignore these for a moment and concentrate on the first letter; which was in her sensei's handwriting.

---

_-To my successor:_

_You are obviously wondering why you are receiving this, rest assured that this document was sealed over a decade ago, thus holding no bias or comment directed toward you in any way. This was done on behalf of my former successor, Yondaime Hokage._

_Enclosed is a letter from him better detailing the situation regarding the scroll these documents were attached it, as well as explaining the documents I sealed inside the envelope along with the letters…_

_All I need say is that if all went according to plan, you are receiving these documents at least fifteen years after the hero they regard was born. I have sworn to look after him as my own, but should I pass away before he is of age, I would request you do the same in my stead. I am an old man, after all, and my finite time in this world has nearly run its course._

_It is my deepest wish that all who suffered in this tragedy find happiness, especially young Naruto. I have given him the surname 'Uzumaki' to hide his identity from those who would do him harm, but I fear I can do little more than that, aside from passing a law forbidding anyone else from learning what is sealed within him._

_Please ask Naruto to forgive an old man his folly in my stead…_

---

Tsunade's eyes were in tears before she'd finished the letter. What shocked her more than anything else in the letter, however, was the fact that it was both hand-signed _and_ stamped with her sensei's personal Hanko. As far as she knew, _no_ document in existence, save something rivaling the importance of a declaration of _war_ required both, showing just how important this letter was to the old man. _If this is right… then I opened this a good three years early… _Tsunade thought, before something else dawned on her… "Shizune…?"

"Yes?"

"When was the Sandaime's law… the one regarding Naruto… founded?" Tsunade asked, throwing her apprentice through a loop, continuing before the younger woman could speak up. "And I mean _exactly_ when it was laid down…"

"Erm… about a week after the Kyuubi's attack, I think…" Shizune answered.

"Then that would mean… this was written and sealed less than a week after Naruto was born…" At her apprentice's curious look regarding her statement, Tsunade passed the first letter to her as she started on the second, which was obviously written hastily, if not haphazardly.

---

_-To Sandaime-oyaji and Godaime Hokage:_

_First off, old man, I'm sorry to say that I ran out of options and had to stick you with my job again… You're probably cursing my name right now for stranding you with my mountain of paperwork, but I'd also like you to take care of my son, Naruto. I mean, so long as it's not too much trouble… just watch over him when you can, and keep him safe. Our little hero is destined for great things, but only if the villagers manage to see him for the hero he is. I know that as long as he has you and his mother, he'll turn out just fine._

_I want you to give him the family scroll when he's old enough for it, in other words, whenever you pick the next Hokage in a decade or two, just shirk it off on them, I'm sure my son will understand._

_To Godaime-sama, I am sure you're quite confused by now, so I'm going to explain a few things; Naruto, whom you may or may not know as the 'demon child', is my biological son. Unless some horrendous twist of fate intervenes, my wife should be able to keep our son safe, and teach him enough to survive in this harsh world._

_Along with this, you should find my son's birth records, and the deed to our estate. If there isn't a copy of our clan scroll along with this, then there should be a copy in my old home. All of your questions should be answered in the scroll…_

_Don't worry about Naruto, give him the scroll, and he'll figure everything out from there. He is my son, after all._

---

Once more, Tsunade saw that the letter in her hand was both signed and stamped by its writer. She sighed before handing the letter off to Shizune and opening up the first of the two documents that had fallen onto her desk. _Heh… Kazama Naruto… who would've figured?_ Tsunade thought. _I only wish his mother had survived to care for him… it would've made all of this a lot less complicated._ Tossing the birth certificate onto her desk and taking a single glance at the deed to the Kazama estate, she swiftly turned her attention to the scroll on her desk. It was rather small for a clan scroll, but she assumed it didn't have much of the clan history or Jutsu, so that was understandable. Unrolling it, her eyes slowly widened as she read more and more of the apparently ancient document. "Call Naruto in here…" Tsunade muttered, catching her assistant's attention before simply exploding. "…NOW!"

As she watched her assistant scurry away, Tsunade couldn't help but think her day was simply shot to hell already, and started looking around for a bottle of sake.

---

Shizune returned about a half-hour later dragging an infuriated Naruto along with her. "Hey! Why you… what do you think you're doing!? I wasn't done with my ra-"

"Naruto…" Tsunade said, sternly. Her voice held no quarter, and Naruto silenced instantly, visibly gulping as he waited for whatever punishment was sure to come… for what he had no idea. "How would you like to know about your family?"

Naruto's eyes shot open. "What!? Seriously!?" Naruto yelled, and at Tsunade's nod, continued. "Of course I want to know!"

Tsunade glanced at Shizune, who understood instantly, and shut the door. "First, the reason there aren't any Uzumaki in Konoha is because there is no 'Uzumaki' clan… your name is _Kazama_ Naruto, the son of the Yondaime, and apparently…" Tsunade stopped for a moment, opening the scroll so that Naruto could see its contents.

"…You've got to be shitting me…" Naruto muttered as he looked it over.

"Nope…" The Sannin muttered. "I'd suggest you find someone to help you figure out how to deal with this, and seeing as the council will want to talk to you about it, I'll set up a meeting in… say, a week or two?" Naruto was dumbfounded… but he knew that didn't matter. "Naruto… I'd suggest talking to the Hyuuga clan… you're friends with Hinata and Neji, right?" Naruto nodded, honestly confused. "Well then, I bet they can help you out with this, and I can order Shikamaru to teach you how to talk in front of the council…" She said, pointing to a spot on the scroll before smiling maliciously.

"Erm… okay… I'll talk to Neji and Hinata tomorrow morning…" Naruto muttered, rolling up the scroll to take it with him.

"I'll make sure neither of them have a mission tomorrow…" Tsunade said, smiling.

As Naruto walked out of the Hokage's office, clan scroll tucked safely under his arm, he started thinking to himself… _Man… this is weird… first Sasuke starts acting strange, and now this… _Naruto hadn't realized it, but he was already at his apartment. "Shinzenbigan, huh? Sounds kinda cool…" He muttered.

* * *

OKAY! First chapter… I'll admit, I wanted it to be longer than this, but that is just too perfect a spot for a chapter break.

Yes, Naruto has a Doujutsu in this fic. I guess I just wanted to try my hand at a 'give Naruto funky eyes' fic for once…

Anyway, Shinzenbigan means 'The True Eye'.

Next chapter should be a _lot_ longer, but I'm not holding my breath.


	2. The Uchiha's Antithesis

Chapter 2…

Later on, there is a reference to the meaning of Hanabi's name. Hanabi means 'fireworks' in Japanese.

I despise the fact that semicolons don't work in summaries. It's _supposed _to be 'Shortly after Tsunade accepts the office of Hokage, Naruto learns of his family's bloodline; the precursor to the Byakugan. [NaruHarem' but _Nooooo!_

* * *

Naruto was up at dawn, as he usually was, but today was different. Today was _special_. Today he was going to go to the Hyuuga compound and ask his two Hyuuga friends for Doujutsu training. He was standing in front of the main gates to the Hyuuga compound at six in the morning, when one of the guards took note of him. "What business do you have here… _boy_?" He asked.

Naruto winced slightly at the tone in the Hyuuga man's voice. "I'm here to see Neji or… Hinata…" The man was instantly glaring at him, opening his mouth to berate Naruto before the blonde cut him off. "The Hokage told me to see the Hyuuga for Doujutsu training, and they're the only two I know!"

"Y-_you_ have a Doujutsu!?" The guard yelled.

Naruto sighed, not even realizing the effect his next words might have… "Okay, then… I guess I'll just have to go talk to Kakashi-sensei or Sasuke about it, then…"

"The _Uchiha_?" The guard scoffed, and grumbled before opening the gate. "Follow me… You will meet with Neji-sama."

As Naruto stepped through the archway, he jogged up beside the man and asked; "Why can't I see Hinata?"

"Because you are… _different_… and it is unsafe for her to be near you." The man said, never looking at the boy.

"Damned fox…" Naruto muttered, catching the guard's attention. Naruto could've sworn he saw _fear_ in the man's pale lavender eyes for an instant. "But… Tsunade told me she was holding both of their teams back from missions so I could get this training… it's practically an order, I think…"

The man stopped walking, cursing under his breath. When Naruto noticed he was walking alone, he turned back to find the branch-member stock still save for his twitching eye. Naruto was about to ask if he was alright when the man spoke up; "I will take you to the courtyard where Neji-sama should be… and then I will summon Hinata-sama for you…" He said through gritted teeth.

"Uhhm… okay…" Naruto muttered, watching as the now furious Hyuuga led him down the hallways. Eventually they came upon a door leading outside, and Naruto watched as the guard slid the door open, revealing a familiar face. "Neji!"

"N… Naruto?" Neji muttered, obviously surprised to see the blonde boy.

"Yup!" Naruto yelled, running over to him as the guard retreated back into the hallway. "I'm sorry if I came at a bad time, buuut… I kinda need help with something…"

Neji sighed. "I don't know what _I_ could possibly help you with, Naruto…"

"Well, there's Taijutsu, Genjutsu, I think I might be a little better than you with Ninjutsu…" Naruto said, stroking his chin in thought. "I'm sure you could teach me a thing or two about fancy manners and girls, too…" Neji paled slightly, and this did not go unnoticed by the blonde. "What's wrong? Erm… girlfriend trouble?"

Neji shook his head vigorously. Naruto could tell the Hyuuga boy was quite flustered for some reason, and was intent on finding out if he could help in any way… "I… I'm… erm…"

Naruto's face lit up in a mixture of confusion and realization for an instant before he cleared his throat. "Wait… um… boyfriend trouble?" Naruto muttered.

Neji's face turned into a visage of horror and disgust when he heard his friend's implication. "REHH!? NO!" Neji screeched. Naruto had sometimes wondered if having your voice break during puberty was a rumor, but hearing it happen first hand convinced him otherwise. "I'm… in an arranged marriage." Neji continued after he'd taken a moment to calm himself. "So, I don't know how I could be of help with… girls… I've never been out on a date before, and I doubt I ever will."

"Ahh… that makes sense… so, who's the lucky girl?" Naruto asked.

"Well… I am betrothed to my cousin…"

"H-Hinata!?" Naruto yelled, causing the older boy to jump slightly.

"Wait, what? NO!" Neji yelled. "She's my mother's stepsister's daughter…"

"Oh…" Naruto said, letting out a sigh. "Well, why don't you tell me about her?"

"Well… She reminds me of Hanabi-sama, which is… oddly frightening…" Neji said, Naruto could barely make out the fact that the older boy was shuddering. "She just turned twelve last month… and I was informed of the arrangement then. We are to wed when she has reached the marriageable age of fifteen…"

"Fifteen?" Naruto asked, openly gaping. "Isn't that a little young?"

"There are several cases that would permit marriage at a much younger age… but most Hyuuga are married around their mid-teens." Neji explained.

"Erm… well, yeah…" Naruto muttered, clearing his throat again. "That's really interesting…"

"Naruto, I must ask you, why have you come here today? I need to leave for my team's mission briefing in just under an hour…" Neji said, earning a smile from Naruto as the door to the hallway slid open, unnoticed by either of the boys.

"Oh no, you don't!" Naruto yelled merrily. "I talked to Obaa-chan yesterday, and she said she was cancelling missions for you and Hinata so you could help me with my Doujutsu!"

Neji's eyes shot open wider than they ever had before. "D-_Doujutsu!?_"

"N-Na-Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked from the doorway.

"Hinata!" Naruto shouted cheerfully.

"I-is it true, N-Naruto-kun? Y-you have a D-D-Doujutsu?" Hinata asked, a flurry of emotion streaking across her form.

Naruto could tell, even with his limited understanding of body language and facial cues, that Hinata was uncomfortable. Sure, he saw a hint of excitement and happiness for him, but that was easily dwarfed by curiosity, anxiety, and if he wasn't mistaken, _fear_… _Why would Hinata be afraid? I'm not scary… and she doesn't know about the Kyuubi…_ "Hinata… are you okay?" Naruto asked softly, walking up to her, and placing his hands on her shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

_Naruto has a Doujutsu!_ Hinata thought after she heard it from him herself. _He doesn't have the Byakugan or the Sharingan… so what could it be? It's obviously rare… meaning he'll wind up married off to some whore just to breed his bloodline… I'll never make Naruto-kun love me now! _Her mind raced, until Naruto walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders. _Oh Kami… he's touching me! He… he CARES about me! I can still make him love me if I just tell him now!_ "N-N-Na-Naruto-k-kun…" She started, trying with all her might to embrace him, to meet his lips with hers, but all she did was shudder in his grasp, moving maybe half an inch towards him. "I… I… l-lo..."

The pair were broken from their thoughts as Neji cleared his throat. "Well, what is this Doujutsu?"

Naruto smiled once more before answering with a single word; "Shinzenbigan."

"Shinzenbigan?" Neji confirmed. _That sounds familiar… probably it's similarity to the word 'Sharingan' it's probably nothing…_

"Yup!" Naruto cheered, holding up his family scroll, and tossing it to Neji. "I already looked through it last night… I could hardly sleep…"

Neji walked up, and took the scroll with a slight bow, setting it on the large stone patio surrounding the courtyard's fountain centerpiece. Within the first few words regarding the Kekkei Genkai, Neji had to actively restrain himself from activating his Byakugan in an attempt to read the scroll's entirety instantly. "This… is impossible…"

"N-Neji-niisan?" Hinata asked, walking up behind him when her cousin flagged her over.

Naruto arrived behind her just after she'd clamped her hands over her own mouth. "What're you two… ooh… yeah." Naruto muttered.

"These…" Neji started, double-checking the name. "'Kazama' must have indeed been a clan most formidable and ancient…"

Hinata gasped again, this time because Naruto wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What, you're put off by the fact that we probably have the same great-great-great-great…" Naruto started, counting on his fingers as he continued. "…great-great-great-great grandfather?"

"I will… want a look at your clan's historical documents…" Neji muttered.

"Th-there is a c-copy of the K-K-Kazama clan archives here… a-alongside our own…" Hinata said, softly.

"That makes sense… I mean, our history is your history, ne?" Naruto asked, rubbing the back of his neck curiously.

"I thought 'Shinzenbigan' sounded familiar…" Neji muttered. "I'll read through those archives later. For now, let's work on activating your Doujutsu…"

"ALL RIGHT!" Naruto yelled, running around the fountain several times, jumping occasionally. Neji could tell Hinata was giggling at the sight of it, but he didn't say anything.

"Naruto!" Neji snapped. "I will help you on one condition…" At Naruto's nod, the older boy continued; "Shut up."

Naruto was about to go off on a tangent, but the look on Hinata's face stayed his temper. "All right, I'll quiet down a little, happy?"

"Very." Neji muttered. "Now, your Shinzenbigan is much like the Sharingan in that is it segmented into 'levels' whereas the Byakugan has a single form."

"Okay, so then how do I get it to work?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Focus chakra into your eyes, and fight someone." Neji said, his eyes never leaving the scroll. "It activates in life-threatening situations, but it is very difficult to do so. Channeling the chakra into your eyes should make it far easier to do so. Even heavy training might work for it then."

"All right then!" Naruto said, bringing his hands up in a ram seal. After a few moments of silence, Naruto couldn't stand it any longer. "Why isn't anything happening?" He grunted.

Neji sighed before snapping his fingers. A young woman from the branch family, obviously acting as a maid, emerged from the door. Neji stood and bowed to her before making his request; "I am researching the Kazama bloodline on behalf of Hinata-sama. I would like for you to bring me any materials on their family history or their Doujutsu that may be in our archives, please." The woman nodded and left, leaving Neji to turn back to Naruto's scroll.

"Wait… I think something's happening…" Naruto said, noting the tingling sensation in his eyes.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata yelled, as she watched his azure-blue eyes slowly shift to a deep emerald green.

"What? Something happen?" Naruto asked.

"Hold that chakra there, and spar with Hinata." Neji suggested. "I will continue researching these documents…"

"F-fight with N-Naruto-kun!? I couldn't!" Hinata objected, turning towards the blonde boy she loved.

"It's okay, Hinata… it's just a friendly spar…" The aforementioned blonde said, dropping into a rough Taijutsu stance.

"I g-guess…" Hinata muttered, taking her own stance.

---

Several hours later, Naruto and Hinata were both breathing heavily. Both had shed their respective jackets, revealing that Naruto was wearing a black t-shirt, while Hinata wore a lavender tank top. It got rather hot, constantly wearing a jacket. It didn't seem weird at all that she wore something like that under it. Both were sweating rather profusely, easily visible even on Naruto's black shirt, and especially visible on Hinata's clothing.

Naruto was leaning up against the fountain while Hinata was lying in the grass as the door slid open again. "Hinata-nee…san?" The younger of the two sisters asked, quite confused by what she was seeing. Hinata was on the ground, panting, while Neji sat waist-deep in scrolls, reading constantly. What caught her eye, though, was the green-eyed blonde in front of her. "Who…are… you're the one who beat Neji in the Chuunin exam, right?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact… and you're… Hinata's younger sister, right?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. My name is Hanabi." She answered, nodding her head in place of a bow. Naruto however, failed to understand how disrespectful that was, and kept going with the conversation.

"Really? I love fireworks!" Naruto proclaimed, causing the young girl to match the blush her older sister always had around the blonde.

"Erm… well… thank you." Hanabi said, practically choking on the words. No one had ever said anything like that about her name before…

"Hey, you wanna' spar?" Naruto asked, catching Hanabi completely off guard with the question. "Neji and Hinata are helping me figure out my Doujutsu, but Hinata seems a little worn out…"

"I… sure…" The girl muttered, dropping into a basic Jyuuken stance, blankly staring into the boy's beautiful green eyes; so focused in fact, that he managed to catch her with a sweeping kick before she even realized he'd moved.

"You're the Hyuuga prodigy? I'd never be able to catch Hinata or Neji with that…" Naruto muttered offhandedly.

"You'll pay for that, pretty eyes or no…" Hanabi proclaimed, causing all eyes to fall on her. Even Neji looked up from his reading. "I… I didn't say anything!"

"I didn't know Hanabi-sama liked green eyes…" Neji muttered under his breath as he went back to his research. Today was just one surprise after another…

---

Naruto managed to leave both sisters exhausted from training at a little after noon, and decided to ask Neji about training with his team tomorrow, which he accepted. Hanabi was probably going to be busy with her own training while Hinata had missions to do anyway…

Naruto was sitting on his stool at Ichiraku's, lazily slurping away at his noodles, occasionally fingering the cloth strap holding his clan scroll to his back. Around his fifth bowl, a familiar boy sat down next to him. "Shikamaru?" Naruto asked.

"I've been looking all over for you, Naruto… You know, this was the first place I looked, but you weren't here." The Nara boy stated lazily.

"Well, what's up?"

"Hokage-sama asked me to teach you the finer points of a political debate… something about having you ready for a council meeting…" Shikamaru answered. "It's just too damn troublesome if you ask me…"

"Okay, well, let's get going, then…" Naruto said, tossing a small handful of coins next to his stack of bowls before hopping off the stool.

---

"Hmm… are you sure?" Naruto asked as he and Shikamaru went over the Kazama scroll again. They were sitting out back in the Nara district, with the sun shining down on them, and a clear view of the sky, should either of them decide to do any impromptu cloud-watching.

"You want to rebuild your clan, don't you?" Shikamaru asked. "This is the best way to do it, no matter how troublesome it is."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right…" Naruto muttered, rolling up the scroll and slinging it over his back. "I'll see you tomorrow then…"

"Yeah…" Shikamaru muttered back.

Naruto decided to head back to his apartment and turn in early. Team Gai started training a lot earlier than most people…

---

Naruto made it to the aforementioned training ground exactly where Neji said to… at five in the morning.

There he saw two green-clad blurs colliding with each other repetitively, while a young girl just older than him watched, thermos and cup filled with what Naruto assumed to be coffee in hand. "Hey, um… Tenten?" Naruto asked.

"Huh? Oh… Naruto." Tenten muttered. "Neji said you'd be coming by… I didn't think he'd make you come this _early_ though…"

"Yeah, well… I want to get my Doujutsu figured out already…" Naruto replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

This piqued the girl's interest. "Oh? I heard something like that from Neji… but he disappeared on me before I could ask him any details…"

"Yeah… It's called the Shinzenbigan. It's supposed to be what the Byakugan evolved from." Naruto answered. Tenten's mouth dropped open.

"Are you serious?" She asked, now rising from her seat on one of the rocks and looking him dead in the eye. "Can you get it to work yet?"

"No… that's what this training is for… to try and get it to activate." Naruto stated. Seeing the girl's attitude take a nosedive, he quickly thought of something. "But I can get it to do _something_…"

Tenten watched as Naruto made a ram seal, and shifted his eyes from blue to green. "Amazing…" Tenten muttered. "They're beautiful…"

"SUCH A YOUTHFUL SHADE!" They heard erupt from right behind Tenten.

"YOSH, LEE! NARUTO-KUN BURNS BRIGHTLY WITH THE FLAMES OF YOUTH!" Gai yelled from the side of his doppelganger.

"…Erm…" Naruto started, putting his hands up in a placating gesture. "No need to excite yourselves over little ol' me…"

"Gai-sensei… I suggest Naruto-san and Lee-san spar." Neji said, walking up from behind a nearby tree.

"YOSH!!!" The green-clad men yelled as one.

"Aww damn…" Naruto muttered as a foot collided with his face, sending him sprawling twenty feet back.

"LEE!" Tenten screeched. "What was _that_ for!?"

"TENTEN! WE MUST TEST NARUTO-KUN'S FLAMES OF YOUTH AGAINST OUR OWN!!!" was his answer.

"I'll… let you handle that…" Tenten muttered, shaking her head and retaking her seat on her rock.

"AND I SHALL REFEREE!!!" Gai proclaimed.

Neji backed himself up until he was leaning against the rock Tenten was sitting on. "You know… I wouldn't be surprised if you were interested in Naruto-san…" He said.

The young weapons-mistress nearly fell off her rock, her face flushed deep crimson in embarrassment and rage. …mostly rage. "What the HELL are you talking about!?" She roared.

"His Kekkei Genkai…" Neji answered. "Do you want to know what the Kazama were known for above everything else?"

"Er… what?" Tenten asked, her rage ebbing away while her embarrassment stayed strong.

"Their flawless accuracy with projectile weapons…" Tenten openly gaped at what he said.

"You mean… their Doujutsu…" Tenten started, staring at the blonde who'd finally gotten the hang of 'light sparring' with Lee.

"It enhances their vision and hand-eye coordination to the point where they can see anything within their line of sight, and strike it with any projectile weapon." Neji stated. "It also makes the user nearly impervious to all Genjutsu, and coupled with his Hijutsu, I have little doubt Naruto-san could assassinate nearly anyone in the village, regardless of rank."

"You can't be serious…" Tenten muttered, just in time to hear a sickening 'CRACK' as Lee's foot smashed into Naruto's jaw, sending him flying up five feet off the ground and soaring away from the green-clad boy, already at least ten feet away by the time Tenten could look up to see what had happened.

She honestly never once thought the blonde haired boy could be so lithe… flipping himself in midair like a cat, landing twenty feet away from Lee with his back to his opponent. He then took three kunai, and threw them at the Taijutsu prodigy as he turned to face him. Lee was caught off guard by this, true, they never forbade thrown weapons, but Lee assumed it was a match of pure Taijutsu. And thus was he struck by the three missiles. "LEE!" Gai yelled as he watched his student stumble backwards and fall to the ground.

"Lee?" Tenten asked, nearly yelling as she jumped down off the rock, before slowing to a stop and looking at the other boy. "…Naruto?"

She walked over to the blonde, and stared him straight in the eyes. To say that Naruto was uncomfortable would be a monumental understatement. Especially when she reached out with her right hand, and began to caress his cheek, sliding her thumb along his whisker marks as she continued to gaze into his soul. "Erm… I got somethin' on my face?" Naruto asked, now sweating bullets.

"Amazing…" She said, finally, placing her left hand on his other cheek, now firmly holding his face as she slowly inched them closer… "Your eyes changed again… they're beautiful, Naruto…"

Neji cleared his throat beside them, causing the girl to nearly jump out of her skin. "If you two are done with the romantic drivel, we need to take Lee-san to the hospital, to assess the extent of his paralysis."

"P-paralysis!?" Tenten yelled.

"Yes. Naruto-san struck three major nerve pockets with his kunai, rendering Lee-san immobile." Neji stated stoically.

There was a 'squelch' sound as Gai tore one of the kunai from his student's chest. "GAI-SENSEI, I STILL CANNOT MOVE!" Lee yelled.

"I see at least one good thing came of this…" Neji said, taking a small mirror out of his sleeve. "You have obtained the first form of your Doujutsu."

Naruto looked into the mirror expectantly, to see his eyes matched the golden yellow of his hair. "HELL YEAH!" Naruto yelled, jumping into the air, eliciting a giggle from Tenten.

---

The next two days went by smoothly enough. Lee was only temporarily paralyzed, and Shizune had him fixed up in under twenty minutes. Every morning, he would train with Team Gai to try and master his Doujutsu, and the Hijutsu that came with them. He only ever managed to do one, but that one was enough. Just like Neji said, Naruto's eyes may be weaker than his, but they had techniques that augmented their use tenfold.

Naruto's afternoons were spent in the Nara district, learning the finer points of law and etiquette with Shikamaru. The tutoring went extremely well after Shikamaru told Naruto it was little more than "Tactics with words…" after which Naruto, using this analogy as a basis for his studies, took to it with gusto.

It was noon the next day, while Naruto was heading from Ichiraku's towards the Nara district like he did every day, that he was ambushed by Team Seven, all of whom were extremely irked, (save for the ever-stoic Kakashi) "NARUTO!" Sakura screeched.

"What?" Naruto asked, turning back to see what sort of banshee could make such a racket, only to be greeted by his team. "Oh, hey Sakura-chan, how have you been?"

"Lousy!" She said, stomping her foot down where Naruto's sandal used to be until a split second earlier.

If she wasn't so angry, she might've noticed the fact that Naruto would never have pulled his foot back in time three days ago… "Well, why is it my fault? Tsunade pretty much _ordered _me to take some special training. I mean, she ordered other people to _GIVE_ me the training, after all." Naruto said, trying to placate the rampaging girl.

"You see? I told you he had authorization from Hokage-sama." Kakashi lazily rebuked. "I'll admit, I don't even know what this training is, but it must be important…"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm just training my Doujutsu…"

Everything froze in that moment. Sakura gaped in a mix of horror and confusion, Sasuke tensed as his rage towards the blonde was fueled by envy, and Kakashi stood there like an idiot. His visible eye twitched, and the grip he held over his precious book loosened as he lost focus on reality. Naruto was simply standing there, waiting for a reply, giving the Jounin ample time to think things through. _It can't be the Byakugan, or the Sharingan… I've never heard of a blue-eyed Doujutsu other than… he can't be a Kazama, can he? It makes sense… Uzumaki could easily be a false name, after all. But, there were only so many left, and none of them had children except… the resemblance is uncanny, how could I never have noticed before!?_ The perverted novel, which had been slipping from his grasp ever so slowly since he lost his focus, finally fell from his hand as he concluded his thoughts. _Naruto is Arashi-sensei's son…_

Naruto was the only one to see the book fall, and a look of confusion washed over him. "Kakashi-sensei?" he muttered.

Then the book struck the ground, drawing the attention of all three Genin to their sensei. Kakashi only knew two words that could express his feelings in that moment. "…Holy fuck…" None of them had ever heard their sensei swear so openly before… let alone so stoically. The cyclopean shinobi took three steps forward, until he was standing right in front of Naruto, about two feet from him. "Naruto…" Kakashi muttered; a serious undertone to his voice. "What is your name?"

The blonde and silver-haired shinobi stared each other down for a few seconds before Sakura cut in. "What do you mean, sensei? It's Naruto… the same old Uzuma-" She was stopped by a firm hand on her shoulder, and a pair of black eyes glaring into hers. Sasuke knew why his sensei had asked the question, and he wanted to know the answer as well.

"My name…" Naruto muttered. He still wasn't used to calling himself this… "…is Kazama Naruto."

Sakura and Sasuke were both equally confused when Kakashi knelt down in front of Naruto, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "And… your father?"

Naruto lowered his head for a moment before answering. "Kazama Arashi."

"…Sensei?" Sakura asked, seeing tears trickle down and soak into his mask.

"I'll be fine." Kakashi answered, wiping his eye with his forearm and taking a deep breath. "Okay, you two, run along…" He said, making a 'shooing' motion with his hands towards Sakura and Sasuke as he walked over to retrieve his book from where it fell.

"You can't do this!" Sasuke yelled. "I need training!"

"Then spar with Sakura…" Kakashi sighed. "I have private matters to discuss with Naruto. We'll train tomorrow, okay?"

As the two started back along the street in the direction Naruto had been travelling previously, Sasuke turned around to see an excruciatingly cheerful Sakura blocking his path. "So, where to now, Sasuke-ku_-HWAG!_" She managed to get out before Sasuke shoved her aside, essentially throwing her to the ground.

"Leave me alone." Sasuke muttered as he walked away.

"Kazama Arashi, your father, was my Jounin-sensei." Kakashi stated as they walked along.

"Whoa… that's actually kinda cool." Naruto muttered back.

"I could tell you about him if you'd like… over a bowl of ramen, maybe?" Kakashi asked, his smile easily visible through his mask.

"Maybe tomorrow, sensei… I've got some training to do with Shikamaru now." Naruto said, now walking a few steps ahead of the older shinobi.

"Ahh, yes…" Kakashi sighed. "You know, like the Nara, the Kazama were shadow-users…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know… 'who's combined skills could destroy an army' I've heard the stories too, y'know…" Naruto cut in.

"Ahh, yes, you've gotten a hold of your clan's historical scrolls, right?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, Hinata and Neji found them, and Neji's been going through them, relaying all the more interesting things to me during our morning training…"

"Including the fact that your great grand-uncle was a Nara?" Kakashi asked, a curious mirth to his tone.

Naruto sighed. "Listen, Kakashi-sensei, I need to go, and get done with my training, okay? I'll talk to you later…" Naruto said, jumping away. _Maybe I should talk with him or Sasuke about my Shinzenbigan…_

---

After the day's lesson at the Nara's, which surprisingly consisted mainly of marriage laws, Naruto set out to find an Uchiha. Or rather, any non-genocidal shinobi with an Uchiha eye…

It was dusk by the time Naruto gave up on trying to find Kakashi. Chances were that the pervert had locked himself away with his books somewhere… That just left Sasuke.

The young Uchiha was easy enough to find… the boy practically radiated angst, after all. He was walking down the badly-lit streets in the dark… not all that suspicious, given who he was… Then again, Naruto was more curious about why Sakura was stalking him.

Deciding to follow until he knew just what was going on, Naruto slunk into the shadows, activating his Shinzenbigan to see from that distance. "Sasuke-kun!" She called, once he'd nearly reached the gates.

Sasuke turned to glare at her, only one jet-black visible eye was enough to make her flinch. "Go home." He ordered.

"No!" Sakura yelled, inching forward. "I… Why can't you stay with me? …With us?" Sasuke merely turned back onto the path and took another step. "Why can't you get your revenge here!?"

Sasuke stopped and spun around. "Because of people like You and Kakashi, holding me back, and that damned Naruto…" Sasuke said, rage permeating his voice before he continued under his breath. "How dare he pass me up…"

"What? What about Naruto? What about me?" Sakura asked, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I love you, Sasuke-kun! I would do anything for you!" She yelled. "Naruto isn't even worth talking about!"

"He's passed us up!" Sasuke yelled. "He's been training under a Sannin, he's been the favorite of not one, but _two_ Hokages, He seems to have nearly _infinite _chakra, and he now has a Doujutsu!"

"I don't care about Naruto!" Sakura yelled "He'll never be as good as you, Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto winced when he heard that. Sakura really never liked him… at all. Whatever happened now, Naruto was just going to let it happen. Sakura deserved whatever she got for being stupid enough to love Sasuke instead of him.

"I already told you…" Sasuke said, turning away once more. "He passed us up. I need power, and I need it _now_."

"S-Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled after him. "If you won't stay… then take me with you… please."

"Sakura…" She heard from behind her as Sasuke vanished. "You have never been more than a hindrance to me…" She felt a sharp pain in the back of her neck, and fell unconscious, Sasuke stepping over her fallen body and going on his way.

"Dammit…" Naruto muttered, Jumping down after Sasuke left, forming a Kage Bunshin, which picked Sakura up off the street. "Take her to the hospital. Then find Shizune and tell her about what happened here…" The real Naruto said, and they dashed off in opposite directions. _Sasuke is still faster than me, but he doesn't know he's being followed… I should be able to catch up soon._

---

As the clone made it to the hospital, he plowed right through the doors, and slid to a stop in front of the main desk. "Where's Shizune-neechan!?"

The nurse behind the desk sighed. Once glance told her the girl was fine, just unconscious… "What is it now, demon brat? Your little girlfriend got a sprained ankle again, and you ran her here thinking it's the end of the world?" She chuckled maliciously.

"No, now listen the _fuck _up!" The clone roared, driving everyone in the room to a frightened stupor. "I'm just a Kage Bunshin! I need to report a missing-nin that the _real_ me went after before I _pop_!"

The woman nearly chuckled, 'before I pop' was an interesting way to word how a Kage Bunshin is destroyed, but nonetheless, she could hear the severity in his words. "Sh-she's right down that hall…" The woman muttered, pointing off to her side.

The clone didn't even bother to thank the woman before he dashed off down the hall. When he caught a glimpse of the woman he was looking for, he yelled; "Shizune-neechan! Sasuke went rogue and attacked Sakura!"

---

Naruto just caught up to Sasuke, who stood next to four people who were obviously Oto ninja; a cute red-haired girl, a freak with six arms, another freak with two heads, and a fat kid about twice the girth of Chouji. Naruto knew he couldn't take them head-on, but he couldn't sneak around and catch them off guard either… it was now that Naruto thanked Neji repeatedly for insisting he learn at least one of his clan's Hijutsu before he continued training his new eyes. "SASUKE-TEME!" Naruto yelled, from just behind them.

"Dobe… even _you_ can't possibly be _this_ stupid…" Sasuke muttered as he turned around to find yellow eyes glaring into his. "Tch… so this is your Doujutsu? Pathetic…"

Naruto began flashing through hand-seals before Sasuke could activate his Sharingan. "Only an Uchiha would be so arrogant as to forget that my eyes are the perfect weapons against yours!"

Sasuke's now-red eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" He muttered, only to be met with a smirk and a battle cry.

"Kuraikiri no Jutsu!"

* * *

I'm going to say this now so there can be absolutely NO confusion. Neji doesn't carry a mirror around with him everywhere. Gai and Lee, odd as they are, probably don't have mirrors on them at all times, and Tenten isn't _NEARLY_ that girly. So, he brought one, just in case he needed one to show Naruto his new eyes.

'What is the Kuraikiri?' 'How can the Shinzenbigan beat the Sharingan?' 'What will become of the Sound Four?' Why the fuck is the guy that _knows_ the answers asking you? SARCASM! (Ain't it great?)

All questions will be revealed next chapter… well… most of them.

NEXT CHAPTER: Oto Incognito; Part 1! (By Kami I love that chapter name… XP)


	3. Oto Incognito: Part 1

FIRST OFF! The Kuraikiri no Jutsu! (Originally the work of my Beta, PalookaLord, just as the Shinzenbigan itself was) I didn't put the explanation for it in the last chapter because I wanted it to be an UBERCLIFFHANGER! (I know, my cliffhangers suck, but hey, I like 'em) Anyway; Kuraikiri (Kurai: Dark/Gloomy Kiri: Mist/Fog) Making it the 'Dark Mist Technique' It really isn't a mist at all, but that's what it looks like… it's actually a cloud of specialized chakra that actually _absorbs_ 99 percent of all light that comes into contact with it, making it essentially self-sustaining in broad daylight. (At night, the user has to keep pumping chakra into it) it is pathetically useless in a war-time situation due to the chakra cost, and the fact that only someone with the Shinzenbigan, which can see through any non-solid matter with next to no light, can fight in it without being trained in sightless combat. A quarter-mile diameter cloud (like Naruto set up last chapter) can easily match the Katon: Karyuu Endan in chakra cost. It _IS_ however, the perfect assassination jutsu, if used correctly. (In this fic, the Kazama were the 'assassin' clan of Konoha. I can't see why everyone thinks that just because Kakashi came up with an assassination jutsu, his_ whole clan_ had to specialize in it, but hey, that's not my call…)

The reason it is the perfect antithesis to the Sharingan will be explained in-chapter. (Also, expect a few 'OHSHIT' twists before the end of the next chapter)

I'm tired of explaining this in replies, so I'll say it here; Green is _**NOT**_ level 1 of the Shinzenbigan. _Yellow_ is. Green just means you're on the right track to GETTING to level 1. Green gives him NO abilities WHATSOEVER, and now that he has level 1, he CANNOT go back to green. (While, coincidentally, once he has level 3, he can go back and use level 1 or 2 if he wants, because they take less chakra.)

And, just so you get the joke later on, 'Kuraikiri' and 'Kurokiri' mean pretty much the exact same thing.

* * *

"_WHAT!?_" Sasuke roared, snapping his head from side to side, looking for his new comrades or his enemy. "Why can't I _see _anything!?"

"Because the Sharingan specializes in catching motion…" Sasuke heard from his left. "Take away all light by which to _see_ that motion, and your Sharingan is worthless." He heard from behind him, after having turned to face the voice from before.

Sasuke smirked. "But motion isn't _all_ my Sharingan can see…"

"You are referring to the Sharingan's ability to see chakra, yes?" Naruto asked, from nowhere in particular. Sasuke was getting pissed… "What the fuck do you think this is _made_ out of!? I'll have you know I haven't had _beans_ in a few months."

Sasuke took out a pair of kunai, preparing to charge the next time he could tell where Naruto was via his voice. "You can't possibly match my clan's eyes!"

"Listen, '_genius_', the _Hyuuga_ clan can barely see in here, with all the chakra. If their ability to see through chakra dwarfs your own, how the hell do you expect to see through it yourself?"

Naruto could see that the four Oto nin were playing it safe… they couldn't tell where he was either, and since Naruto seemed to only be after Sasuke, they just stood there, as if waiting for orders. "I don't care, dobe! I'll kill you!"

"Will you now?" Naruto asked, so close behind him that Sasuke could feel the blonde's breath ruffle his hair slightly. Swinging his kunai around behind him, Sasuke spun around to face his opponent, and felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck. "Nighty-night, Sasuke-teme…" Naruto muttered, picking the boy up after having knocked him out with the same method used on Sakura.

When Naruto was about a half-mile away, he let the flow of chakra to the mist cease. He was at his limit for distance anyway… As the Oto nin glanced around, the red-haired girl was the first to speak up. "…fuck."

---

Another few minutes later, and Naruto kicked open the door to Tsunade's office. "One Uchiha nuke-nin…" Naruto said, his voice an interesting mix of pride and sorrow, with just a hint of pure unbridled rage, before sliding Sasuke off his back and throwing him forward with enough force to crack the front of Tsunade's desk with his back. "…Courtesy of the Kazama clan…"

Naruto glanced over to Shizune, who was panting slightly with a concerned look in her eyes as she stood next to a practically fuming Tsunade. "Shizune… call Kakashi…" Tsunade said, her fingers laced in front of her mouth, not bothering to break the glare she was sending at Naruto. Everything he knew about Tsunade, including his gut instinct, told him her rage wasn't focused on him, but it still unnerved him to be stared at like that. "Naruto… while I agree Sasuke needs to be punished for assaulting a fellow Leaf-nin, even _implying_ someone might be a nuke-nin is a serious accusation… do you have any proof?"

Naruto wanted to simply stand there and scream at the woman, but if there was one thing Shikamaru had drilled into his brain, it was that yelling won't solve anything nearly as well as Naruto seemed to think it did. So, instead of blowing up at her, Naruto took three deep breaths, one of the many 'calming techniques' Shikamaru had taught him, and thought it over rationally. Who knew one lazy smartass could turn a blockhead like Naruto into a politician? "Sasuke not only attacked Sakura, he also left the village with the intent of travelling to another Hidden Village. I know this not only because of the conversation I overheard between him and Sakura before he incapacitated her, but also because he was with four Sound ninja when I caught up to him."

Tsunade nearly gasped. "Orochimaru?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama…" Naruto said with a slight bow, keeping as formal as he could for the sake of appearances. Before she could ask any questions, Naruto started again. "I had intended to apprehend the Oto nin as well, but I soon realized I myself could not do so without killing more than one of them, possibly Sasuke, as well as the fact that I doubted I could keep one of them from escaping before I finished off their companions."

Tsunade was amazed by what she heard. Not only by what Naruto was saying, but _how_ he was saying it. "And… you have a reason for not even attempting to take these… four was it… into custody, why?"

Naruto smirked. "Like I said… There was no way _I_ myself could bring them all back to Konoha. They appeared to be stronger than the average Oto nin… high-Chuunin or Jounin level, at least… So Kage Bunshin, even while their eyesight was hindered by my Kuraikiri, would have had little positive effect." Naruto's smile widened. Tsunade was starting to wonder what kind of political monster she'd created by sending Naruto to Shikamaru… "However… we know two things for certain; Sasuke is very important to Orochimaru, and he has a limited number of quality shinobi."

"How do you know that?" Tsunade asked, wondering who told Naruto about their tactical advantage over Oto.

"Give anyone enough liquor, and the right mix of certain compounds, and they'll tell you anything you want…" Naruto chuckled.

Tsunade's eyes widened slightly. "You drugged Jiraiya?"

"Who said it was Jiraiya?" Naruto asked. Tsunade was more worried about the fact that he wasn't denying using certain substances on his fellow Leaf-nin… "Anyway, where was I? Ah, right… With the current information, it can be deduced that Orochimaru will send at least one or more of those four to fetch dearest Uchiha-teme from his prison cell…" He said wistfully.

"And you would give up the descriptions of these four?" Tsunade asked, taking out a notepad and a pencil from her desk drawer. Not everything the Hokage writes is formal, after all…

"Gladly…" Naruto said, smiling as Tsunade noticed the evil glint in his eye. That boy was getting too damn good at this…

---

(Later on, Oto outpost near Konoha)

"What do you _mean_ you 'lost the Uchiha'?" Kabuto asked, putting as much venom into his words as he could, since Orochimaru wasn't there to scold them.

"A blonde leaf-brat came and took him. We were at a tactical disadvantage." The many-armed boy, Kidomaru, stated.

"What kind of tactical disadvantage?" Kabuto asked.

"The fucker did something so we couldn't fucking _see_." Tayuya, the red-head, growled.

"He used something… a jutsu called the… Kurokiri?" The other odd boy, Sakon, muttered.

"Fucking idiot fag… he called it the _Kuraikiri_…" Tayuya added spitefully.

Jirobou, the large boy and only one yet to speak, finally added his thoughts. "What do we do now?"

Kabuto chuckled. "Naruto-kun is an interesting one, isn't he?" Confused looks derived from his mutterings made Kabuto decide to explain. "The boy, did he have blonde hair, whisker-marks, blue eyes and wear a horrendous orange jumpsuit?" Kabuto asked, getting mixed reactions from the four, until Tayuya spoke again.

"Except for the fact that the fucker had _yellow_ eyes, that's him."

"Yellow?" Kabuto asked, and all four nodded. "I see… possibly a Doujutsu of some sort…"

"It was. He said so himself…" Kidomaru added.

Kabuto smiled. "Then we have a new mission… Infiltrate Konoha, find Sasuke, and take him back to Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto began rummaging through one of the back-rooms, returning with two large boxes. "Also, if you find that boy… Uzumaki Naruto, you are to do what you can to abduct him as well."

"One problem, fag… how the fuck do we get in?" Tayuya spat.

Kabuto opened the boxes to reveal they were filled with clothing. "Disguises, my dear… I have a beautiful dress that would suit you perfectly, Tayuya-chan!"

Tayuya's fist instantly appeared in Kabuto's face. "No way in fucking _hell_ am I wearing a fucking _dress_!" She roared.

Kabuto pushed his miraculously undamaged glasses up the bridge of his nose as he chuckled. "Fair enough, Tayuya-chan…"

---

Sakura stirred in her hospital bed, a slight headache nagging at her while she woke. It took her a moment to realize where she was, another to remember what had transpired the previous night, and one more to realize she wasn't alone. "Naruto?"

The blonde glanced over at her from his seat next to the window. He'd been staring out of it until she spoke. "Ah, Sakura… I see you're awake, finally…"

"E… yeah…" She muttered.

"So, care to explain what happened last night?" Naruto asked, at which she shook her head. "Well, I could always ask Sasuke, but I figure I gave him a worse headache than he gave you…"

"S-Sasuke-kun is still here?" Sakura asked hopefully.

"Yeeup!" Naruto said, mocking enthusiasm. "He was about a mile outside Konoha's gates, talking to a bunch of Oto-nin, but after I knocked him out, he was _ecstatic_ about coming home to you!"

Sakura could hear the spite in his voice through his cheerful sarcasm. "What did… how do you know…"

"I was _there_, Sakura." Naruto said. For the first time, she noticed he was leaving the 'chan' off of her name. "Since before you confronted him; then I made a Kage Bunshin to take you back to the hospital and tell people what happened while I beat down your would-be bastard of a boy-toy."

"There's no way that-" Sakura started.

"That _I_ could beat the mighty Uchiha?" Naruto asked. After waiting a moment for her to answer, he spoke again. "I can't believe you still love him…" Naruto muttered. "I can't believe you still think he's better than me… better for_ you_ than me!"

"But… Sasuke-kun is-!"

"An _UCHIHA_." Naruto spat, saying the word as if it were taboo. "A vile despicable thing neither my clan _nor _the Hyuuga should have ever allowed to exist!"

Sakura flinched at his words. "You… you can't mean that…"

"The only Uchiha left are missing-nin, Sakura." Naruto said solemnly.

"No, Sasuke-kun…"

"Left the village intent on leaving the country in the company of enemy shinobi after attacking one of our own…" Naruto said. "He is currently serving out his sentence of life imprisonment with possibility of parole after his chakra coils are _sealed_ in one week's time."

Sakura felt tears stream down her cheeks. "How could…"

"The only thing they plan to keep themselves from sealing off is his blood, so he can pass his eyes on to his children. Then again, they'll probably just artificially inseminate donor women…" Naruto added, striking a 'thinking' pose.

"How can you say such things!?" Sakura yelled.

Naruto moved toward her, leaning forward, and whispering; "Because I want you to hurt…" before leaning back in his chair again. "Just like I do… after hearing that no matter what I do, you'll always see him as better than me… even though I loved you longer than you loved him; even though he's never even said a single kind word to you; even though he's a criminal…" Even Naruto was tearing up by then, and Sakura's tears showed no signs of ever stopping. "I am far more powerful than Sasuke-teme; the bearer of one of, if not _the_ oldest known Kekkei Genkai in existence; the very martyr for this village's hatred and sorrow; the boy who's saved your life more times than I can remember; the student of the Sannin Jiraiya and the _son _of his student, Kazama Arashi, the Yondaime Hokage." Naruto said, slowly turning away from her as he spoke, trying to keep her from seeing his own rivers of tears, and doing his best not to choke on his own words. "I… was an idiot for ever falling in love with you. At this rate, you will live a cold and lonely life, Haruno-san… even if you don't deserve such a dismal fate." After he was finished, Naruto opened the door, walked out into the hallway, and shut it behind him; leaving the girl to cry her heart out.

"Did you really have to say all that?" Tsunade asked from where she was leaning beside the door.

"Yes…" was Naruto's answer.

"Does it make you feel _good_ to see her cry like that?" She asked, spite dripping from her words like a poison.

Naruto sighed as he wiped away his tears. No, he didn't feel good about it… he hated himself for saying it, and was sad to see her cry… but there was something else Naruto could barely put a word to; something in his soul that cracked and splintered away, leaving behind a lighter, clearer focus on his life. "No, I feel… free." He said as he started his trek home.

---

The next day, Naruto started out like he usually did; he woke up at four, made breakfast (Which surprisingly consisted of something other than instant ramen, after hearing Gai rant about how eating ramen every meal could actually _hinder _one's training) took a quick shower, checked his plants, and headed out. Training went as it usually did, save for the fact that he had to retell the entire tale of how he 'bested the great Uchiha' while having to listen to Gai and Lee's respective rants… After he finished telling them what happened, he was unnerved by the way Tenten was eying him. It was something like… admiration? Naruto couldn't figure it out…

After training, and talking to Tenten for about a half an hour afterward, Naruto made his way to Ichiraku's. Shikamaru was never strict about when Naruto showed up… Hell, he could skip altogether and the Nara boy would take it in stride; not that Naruto would ever pass up training of any sort…

Or at least, he thought as much. "Hoy! Old man! I'm hungry!" Naruto heard from his favorite stand. Eying the rowdy customer from behind the corner, Naruto nearly let out a gasp.

_It's her! _He thought. _That Oto kunoichi!_ Diving back behind the corner, he leaned against the wall, trying to think about how to handle this, when he nearly started chuckling… it was just too perfect a prank to pass up… "Hey, Ayame, hey old man…" Naruto said as he took the stool right next to hers. It wasn't long before she noticed him out of the corner of her eye.

"It's you!" She yelled, nearly stumbling back off her stool.

Naruto looked up at her with a bluntly confused expression. "Do I know you?" He asked, laughing his ass off in his head.

"I… well… I guess not." She said. _DAMN it's hard to keep from just fucking CUSSING HIM OUT… why did that bastard fag Kabuto have to order me to keep my mouth shut? …oh yeah... People don't talk like I do around here…_

Naruto watched as she took a few noodles from her bowl of beef ramen, and started eating. Naruto ordered his usual… five bowls of miso, followed by whatever he wanted to order after that. He couldn't help but let his eyes roam, eventually landing on the undercover kunoichi. She wore a plain red shirt, and plain black pants, along with sandals and the weird hat-thing Naruto saw her wearing yesterday. She was obviously trying too hard not to attract attention to herself… "So, what's your name, cutie?" Naruto asked with a wink, causing the girl's cheeks to flush slightly pink.

No one had ever called her 'cutie' before… well, Kabuto said shit like that, but he's a lecher of a fruit, so that doesn't count… "Tayuya…" She muttered. Here he was, the target of her secondary mission, and he was complimenting her looks, and asking her name… all the same, best to make sure she had the right guy… "And you?"

"Ahh, my name… Kazama Naruto." He answered.

"Kazama?" Tayuya asked in confusion. The boy she was looking for was supposed to be _Uzumaki_ Naruto… Then again, this kid looked exactly like Kabuto described, right down to his azure eyes. Oh well, this was him. She was sure of it…

"So, where are you from?" Naruto asked, causing her to stiffen slightly. "You gonna be in town long?"

She thought for a moment, trying to figure out a back-story the brat would believe… "I'm from… Suna." She said, coming up with it as she went. "My father is here on business, and I've got my run of the town until he's finished."

"Suna, you say? That's great!" Naruto said. "You wouldn't happen to know Gaara, would you?"

"Erm… who?" The read-head muttered.

"You don't know him? Huh… he's as famous in Suna as I am here…" Naruto muttered, easily poking holes in her story. "Maybe 'Sabaku no Gaara' would be a bit more familiar?"

Tayuya thought about it for a moment, the name _did_ sound familiar, but she couldn't place where she'd heard it before, and saying 'yes' would only land her with him asking questions about the Suna boy… "No… I think I've heard of him, but I can't really say…"

Naruto's smile faded slightly, and Tayuya could see the diabolical glint in his eyes. This boy knew who she was. He remembered her, and there was nothing she could do about that… and then he smiled. "Heheh, well, I guess not everyone knows who the Kazekage's kids are…" Tayuya froze. He was talking about _THAT_ Gaara. Everyone in Suna knew who about him… "Gaara's the youngest, and he's a red-head, like you, too!" Naruto's smile widened slightly before he continued. "He's also a genocidal insomniac, not to mention one of my best friends! Hey, I can introduce you if I go with you when you head home!"

"N-no, that's fine…" Tayuya muttered, clenching her fists and teeth so tightly her knuckles turned white and Naruto could practically _hear_ her teeth grinding together.

"Oh, well, okay…" Naruto sighed, digging into his ramen… literally. How he stayed thin, Tayuya had _no_ idea… the worst part was, she couldn't look away. She just chalked it up to morbid curiosity.

"Say, umm…" Tayuya muttered, trying to think of ways she could get this boy alone and knock him out… or maybe she could seduce him, and he'd follow her to Oto willingly? "Do you think you could show me around the village? It's my first time here, after all…" She did her best to sound weak and timid… she nearly clawed out her own throat; she was so good at it… It was a little pathetic.

Naruto raised an eyebrow curiously. Again, he found something too good to pass up. "You mean like a date?"

And then everything came crashing down… "Aww… dad get over here! Naruto has a new girlfriend!" The girl behind the stand, who Naruto called 'Ayame' yelled, squealing occasionally.

"Oh, he does, eh?" Teuchi asked as he came out from the back. "I'd like to meet this girl…"

Tayuya flushed a deeper pink then. "I never said anything about a date!"

"So then, you don't like me?" Naruto asked, looking downtrodden.

"Now look what you did!" Ayame yelled.

"Naruto, are you okay?" Teuchi asked, walking up close to the boy from behind the counter.

"I didn't do anything!" Tayuya yelled back.

"Yes, you did! You made Naruto-kun cry!"

"He's _not _crying!" Tayuya yelled, before hearing sniffling sounds from the young blonde.

"_You see!_" Ayame screamed.

"_I NEVER AGREED TO A FUCKING DATE WITH THE FUCKING BRAT, YOU DAMNED BITCHY WHORE!_" Tayuya continued to unleash a stream of cursing and obscenities for the next three minutes straight, ending with her sitting back down on her stool in a huff, breathing heavily. _Aww fuck…_ Tayuya thought. _Now they're going to ask questions…_

Surprisingly, Naruto was the first to break from his stupor. "Huh… Tourette's?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. Tayuya gawked at the boy for about a second before shaking her head slightly and nodding. Ayame and Teuchi seemed significantly more forgiving of her outburst after that. True, she didn't actually _have _any sort of coprolalia, but playing along got her out of trouble there, so she really couldn't complain.

"I can usually keep it under control, but every so often, things just slip out, y'know?" Tayuya said timidly. She fucking _hated_ acting nice…

"So, then… what do you say to that date, Tayuya?" Naruto asked, his smile returning in full force.

"I thought I told you no…" Tayuya muttered.

"Aww… but I'd take you to do whatever you want… and then I'd even pay for dinner afterwards!" Naruto proclaimed.

Tayuya couldn't believe how persistent the little runt could be… but, it might work out in her favor… "Oh, alright… but just one date, and we'll see where it goes from there." She sighed.

Naruto nearly jumped for joy, but then he remembered all of the things Shikamaru taught him, as well as the fact that she just happened to be the enemy… "This'll be your first date, right Naruto-kun?" Ayame asked. She really was like an older sister most of the time…

"Yeah… I guess it is my first date, huh?" He asked in response. "What about you? I'm sure all the boys back in Suna are after you." Naruto chuckled.

"Actually…" Tayuya muttered. "It's my first date too…"

"Okay, then! Let's go!" Naruto yelled, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her along before turning back to pay his tab.

"Don't worry about it Naruto, it's on the house today." Teuchi said, waving him off. "Just go have fun on your date."

Naruto nodded and continued dragging Tayuya along while laughing childishly. After they were about a block away, Naruto stopped and took on a solemn look. "You know, you can drop the act…" He muttered. Tayuya looked at him with fear in her eyes… she was already sure he knew who she was… well, maybe eighty percent sure…

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"The act… the one you put up back at the Ichiraku…" Naruto said. "I know that wasn't some Tourette's outburst there… that was the real you. Stop acting, okay?"

Tayuya was dumbfounded. There was _no_ way he was smart enough to figure that out, but dumb enough to not know who she is… oh well, he wanted the real her? Sure, he could have her. "All right then…" She sighed. "I can finally quit with the fucking act in front of the fucking people, eh fag?"

Naruto was taken aback slightly. This was a big personality change. "Well, I did ask for the real you…" He muttered.

"You're damn fucking right you did." She said, smirking slightly.

Naruto glanced over to her, thinking to himself… "You know… I think I can like you, Tayu-chan…" He said with a smile, causing her cheeks to match her hair for an instant.

Naruto saw something akin to a flinch out of the corner of his eye as he called her that. He couldn't blame her, after all… depending on how long she'd been with Orochimaru, she may never have had a single kind word spoken to her that she could remember. Enemy or no, Naruto could tell all she needed were kind words and a shoulder to cry on… now it was just a matter of getting her to open up to him. "Don't call me that, you fucking fag!" Tayuya yelled after regaining her senses.

"Hey, if you keep calling me names, then I can call you whatever I want, Tayu-chan." Naruto said, smirking.

"Fucking dammit…" she muttered.

"So, for this date…" Naruto said, catching her attention. "I was hoping you wouldn't mind stopping by a friend's place to tell him I wouldn't make it for training today before we left, then I was thinking… maybe a movie?"

The red-head stared at him for a moment before sighing and nodding. "Fine… whatever…" Naruto couldn't help but notice the look in her eyes after she said that… she was happy.

---

As they reached the Nara residence, Naruto was still telling Tayuya various tales about his past, including his many pranks. Needless to say, she was in a fit of rolling laughter by the time they found who they were looking for. "Shikamaru!"

The lazy Chuunin glanced over from his spot at the top of a small hill near his home, merely tilting his head to the side as he lay in the grass. "Naruto…" He muttered.

"This fucking cockrider is the bastard who's teaching you _political _shit?" Tayuya asked, rather casually despite her wording.

Naruto barely kept himself from outright laughing. "Yeah, that's Shikamaru…" He said, looking at the boy who was eying the girl curiously after hearing what she'd said. "Don't worry, she says that kinda' stuff about everyone…"

"Ah…" Shikamaru muttered. "Troublesome mannerisms…"

"Hey, if you don't mind, I'm heading out on a date with Tayuya, here…" Naruto said, wrapping his arm around the girl's waist, causing her to blush slightly while glaring at him. "So I'll have to cancel for today."

"No problem…" The Nara boy sighed, leaning back against the grass again. "Troublesome women…"

---

Four and a half hours and two movies later, Naruto was slightly surprised that Tayuya picked two of the most violent, goriest, 'mature' and otherwise _masculine_ movies Naruto had ever seen. This girl seemed to be the epitome of 'tomboy'. "So, Tayu-chan…" Naruto started, a little unsure of what to do. "How about… we go find somewhere to eat?"

"Fuck yes, I'm starving…" The red-head answered, drawing a few awkward glances and glares from others just exiting the theater like them, but paying them no heed.

"Heh… you in the mood for anything in particular?" Naruto asked, hoping she could think of something so he wouldn't have to… there really was only one place he ever ate…

"How the fuck should I know? Where the fuck do _you_ go to eat?" She asked in return.

"Well… there is this ramen stand… but I'm not sure if it's really 'first date' material…" Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"_Anything_ is good." Tayuya said, and they set off.

---

Tayuya looked over toward where her blonde date was pointing. "That's the place where we _met_." She muttered.

Naruto shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "So it is, huh?" he chuckled. "Well, it's the only place I ever eat at; mainly because they don't _throw me out_ if I try…"

Tayuya glanced over at him for a moment, just catching the sad look on his face before he smiled again. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing…" Naruto muttered solemnly, walking up to claim his favorite stool.

_Like hell it is…_ Tayuya thought as she took the seat beside his.

"Oh, back from your date?" The old man behind the counter asked.

"Actually, we're still _on_ our date…" Naruto stated shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Teuchi's eyes widened, Naruto realizing this was the first time he'd ever clearly seen the man's eyes… "You're joking! This isn't the kind of place you take a girl for a date!"

"Ne, it's fine… we didn't really have anywhere else to go, and I like the company here…" Naruto said, shooting the red-head at his side an interesting glance.

Tayuya then, curiously, began rummaging through her pockets. "I… Naruto-kun, I think I dropped my flute a few blocks back, would you find it for me?" She asked. In an instant, the blonde nodded and dashed away.

"That's our Naruto-kun… he'll do anything to make someone else happy…" Ayame said as she stalked out from the back, smiling at Tayuya only to recoil from the red-head's glare.

"Why the _FUCK_ does everyone hate Naruto?" Tayuya asked angrily once she thought the blonde was out of earshot.

Teuchi and Ayame looked at each other, their faces painted with the sorrow they'd helped alleviate from their favorite customer over the years. "We… can't tell you." Ayame said after a moment.

"Why the fuck not?" Tayuya growled.

"Because it isn't our place…" Teuchi said, matching the young woman's glare. "If he wants you to know, you'll know. Otherwise, all we can tell you is that he's suffered for years when he deserved praise." The old man leaned forward, his gaze intensifying tenfold. Tayuya was _sure_ this man was ex-shinobi or _something_… "If you ever hurt him…"

Teuchi was interrupted by his daughter smashing a rather large cleaver that, logically, had _NO_ right being in a ramen stand right in front of the girl. Tayuya was honestly surprised how protective these people were… "Yeah, I get it… play nice." Tayuya muttered, looking off toward where her date had run, letting out a deep sigh. _These people are crazier than I am…_

After another moment, Naruto returned, panting heavily. "I'm sorry… Tayu-chan… I couldn't… find any flutes…"

"Oh, no problem, it turns out it was right here the whole time…" She said, pulling a rather nondescript metal flute from… somewhere… _Damn… I hate this, but it would be bad to act out in front of these people… they'd blow my cover…_ She thought, sparing a glance at Teuchi and his daughter.

"Oh, that's good…" Naruto said, after catching his breath. "So, on with dinner!"

---

A half hour and fourteen bowls of ramen later (Tayuya had three, Naruto devoured eleven) the pair were walking down the street as the sky began to redden, and the villagers began making their way home. Tayuya sighed… it was now or never. "Why does everyone hate you?" Naruto glanced at her curiously before she reiterated; "why the hell do these fucktards treat you worse than shit?"

Naruto sighed. This wasn't something he wanted to tell anyone, but he didn't want to keep it a secret either… might as well see how Tayuya would handle it. _I'll probably have to kill her anyway, so no harm done…_Naruto winced at the thought. He didn't _want_ to kill her… still, he hated secrets…

"I'm a demon." He muttered after glancing around to make sure no-one would overhear.

"What?" Tayuya asked, unsure whether she wanted him to clarify, or if she really wanted him to have said something else…

"I have a demon sealed inside of me. The very demon that nearly destroyed this village twelve years ago… all of that hate with nowhere to go, landed on me." Naruto said as he walked. "I don't really blame them… it's human nature to hate others…"

_That's not true…_ Tayuya thought. _Even I know that… _"Naruto, you shouldn't think like that…" She muttered.

Naruto wasn't sure if it was her tone, or the fact that she wasn't swearing, but her words stopped him. He began to run reasons to contradict them through his mind before he saw her out of the corner of his eye, and turned to face her. "Are you crying?"

Tayuya froze. There was no way she could be crying… dabbing her finger under her eye confirmed that he was right… she really was tearing up. Of course, she couldn't let _him_ know that… "Of course not…" She muttered, wiping her eyes with her forearm.

Naruto smiled. _She's crying over me… _he thought. "It's okay to cry, you know…" _I do it all the time…_

"No it's not… I…" She tried to deny it further, but Naruto was staring straight into her eyes. His eyes were warm and loving, but she could see something in them she was sure only someone like her could… there was a depth; loneliness, pain, sorrow and loss in his eyes. Eyes years beyond those of the brat she thought he was…

The same depths she saw in the mirror… and she was sure the boy in front of her realized it too.

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, the glow of her features reminding him of something… Grabbing her wrist, he set off at full tilt. "Come on! I have to show you something!"

---

"Wow…" Tayuya muttered as she sat next to Naruto, watching the sun set from atop Yondaime's stone head. "This is fucking awesome."

Naruto chuckled. Only Tayuya could have put it that way _and_ make it work… "Tayuya…" Naruto started after a few moments. "Why don't you stay here in Konoha?" Tayuya turned to face him so fast her neck and back popped in several places, a look akin to hope, anguish and sorrow in her eyes. Before she could answer, Naruto added; "y'know… instead of heading back to _Suna_…"

By the way he said 'Suna', it was certain that he knew she wasn't from there… but still… "I… don't get me wrong, you fucking brat, this isn't about you… but I really would like to stay." She muttered, turning back to face the setting sun. "But I have reasons why I can't…"

Naruto sighed heavily. "Why do you want to go back to Orochimaru so badly?" Naruto asked, causing his red-haired companion's eyes to shoot open.

It took a moment to rein in her thoughts, but after she did so, Tayuya sighed as well. "There's no fucking way I'd ever _want_ to go back to that… that…" Tayuya honestly couldn't think up something insulting enough for Orochimaru… "…I want to stay, dammit… but they'd fucking off me the first chance they got…"

Naruto smirked; _she really does want to stay, doesn't she?_ "Tayuya… what if I told you we could protect you?" Tayuya chuckled morbidly, causing Naruto to rethink his words. "What's worse… living the rest of your life with Orochimaru, or spending a few months here?" He asked.

She really didn't have a good argument… Spending anywhere from a month to a year here with Naruto was better than what her life had been until then. "Fucking dammit…" She muttered as her eyes filled with tears again, and she vigorously started brushing them away.

"Are you really telling me that being my girlfriend would be _that _bad?" Naruto asked, doing his best not to laugh.

"Your…" Tayuya muttered, turning to face the blonde, tears still filling her eyes. She smiled; a real smile born of joy and hope, turning her head back away from Naruto, towards her lap. "You're a fucking bastard you know that?"

Naruto couldn't hold it in any longer; he laughed... "Yeah, I know…" Naruto said, wiping a tear from his own eye. "So, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Tayuya scoffed, shortly before tackling the boy and locking her lips to his while pinning him to the ground. A short while later, the red-head released the blonde and sat up, straddling him. "I'll take that as a yes…" Naruto muttered, smiling as his hands found their way to her hips. What happened next served to thoroughly mortify the boy. Tayuya unzipped his jacket, and started undoing his pants. "Whoa! Tayu-chan, what're you doing!?" Naruto asked, grabbing her hands and pulling them down to her sides.

Tayuya looked confused, and slightly embarrassed. "Isn't this… what a girlfriend is supposed to do?" She asked with a tinge of pink to her cheeks.

"Well… yeah…" Naruto muttered. "After a few _years_…"

"…Years? Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Tayuya asked, folding her arms over her chest as Naruto re-fastened his pants.

"Well, maybe just months…" Naruto added. "I really have no idea how this stuff works."

The red-head leaned forward, laying atop her new boyfriend as she sighed. "Being a girlfriend is too fucking confusing…"

Naruto blushed as he realized that her chest was pressing firmly against his. "Erm… Tayu-chan?" He asked.

"What the hell is it now, dam-" She said as she leaned up, before her cheeks erupted into a crimson flurry, Naruto matching it easily. "Ah…"

Tayuya slid off of Naruto's lap, sitting beside him as he adjusted something in his pants. "Sorry about that…"

"You'd fucking better be…" Tayuya muttered, her face still slightly red.

Naruto sat there, next to his red-haired girlfriend, trying as hard as he could to think of something to break the awkward silence. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Heh… fuck yeah…" She answered, leaning into his shoulder. After another minute of comfortable silence, she sighed, her eyes falling to her lap. "You know, as soon as someone finds out who I am…"

Naruto groaned. "You know, there's a way around that…"

Tayuya's eyes shot open, and she turned toward him, her nose no more than an inch from his. "What? Fuck man, _out with it dammit!_"

Naruto smirked, leaning forward to whisper into her ear. Her eyes shot open, gaping at the boy as he pulled away from her and stared into her eyes. Naruto simply sat there and smiled, waiting to see what her reaction would be, knowing he'd have to explain it…

_Holy fuck… he's SERIOUS…_ Tayuya thought as she struggled to close her mouth. _But… it works… right? _"Fucking hell… you're going to have to run that by me again…" She muttered. "With a shitload more detail…"

The blonde merely smirked.

* * *

'Coprolalia' is actually what you call involuntary swearing or other unintended verbal outbursts. Tourette's syndrome is just best known for it because about 15 of TS patients suffer from coprolalia as well. Also, I'd like to make it clear that Tayuya, at the time, showed NO signs of suffering from either of them. Coprolalia is an entirely random outburst, while Tayuya used those obscenities in proper context, although far in excess for the situation. Someone swearing in any sort of context and claiming to have Tourret's is most probably lying… 


	4. Oto Incognito: Part 2

Now, we get to see what happened with the _rest_ of the Oto crew. XP

Just as a bit of a side-note… I have no idea how to spell 'forehead protector' in Japanese. I use 'hitai-ite' because I like the sound of it, but it'd be nice if someone could point me towards the right spelling, ne?

* * *

"Why the hell am I wearing this?" Kidomaru asked, standing alongside his teammates, garbed in a baggy brown trench coat reminiscent of the Aburame clan. He reached up to adjust the bandana around his head with the two arms he had in each sleeve. "This thing itches…"

"…Worse than your hitai-ite?" Jirobou asked, he himself clad in a red-orange yukata.

"_Yes_ worse than that! This thing must have bugs or something…" Kidomaru groaned. "Who knows how long these _clothes_ have been out there?" He added, loathe to call them anything resembling proper garments.

"I don't see what you shitbags are bitching about…" Tayuya said as she examined herself once more. "I kinda' like the fag's fucking pissrags."

"I don't see what's so bad about them either, Kidomaru…" Sakon muttered from beneath his bamboo hat, adjusting the faux-box/backpack ((NO idea what those are called; I've tried looking them up, but I just can't find them)) that hid his brother's head on the back of his neck. He was also dressed in simple, dark-blue robes, and curiously wore a chain of beads around his right arm.

"Only a fag like you would _like_ wearing a fucking dress…" Tayuya spat. Sakon sighed… he was never going to get her to stop calling him that.

"Let's just get this over with…" Kidomaru called. "Split up and search, we'll meet back here at noon."

---

Just behind them, a silver-haired man dressed in full ANBU gear smirked behind his mask…

---

"I found him!" Sakon said as they gathered at the appointed time.

"…Where?" Kidomaru asked.

"There is a special confinement center, in the middle of the ANBU barracks." The other two cringed. "He is being held there, under the guard of several ANBU, as well as a few of these white-eyed 'Hyuuga' freaks Kabuto warned us about."

"It makes sense why we couldn't just use Henge then…" Kidomaru sighed.

"Let's go get him then…" Jirobou started, only to be caught by Kidomaru before he could head off toward the barracks.

"Where is Tayuya?" Kidomaru asked. At Jirobou and Sakon's mutual shrug, he sighed. "Come on then, we'll go find this place you were talking about…"

It took them over an hour to reach their destination through civilian means, making sure to avoid the eyes of watchful ANBU patrolling above. "This is the place…" Sakon muttered from their perch in a nearby building.

"Okay… Jirobou, you go find Tayuya. Sakon and I will figure out a plan, got it?" Kidomaru ordered, taking command while Tayuya was 'indisposed'.

After five hours, and seven rounds around the premises, Kidomaru and Sakon were beginning to get annoyed. "What could possibly take him _this _long?" Sakon asked.

"Either he's dead, or he found an all-you-can-eat buffet…" Kidomaru stated monotonously, before erupting into laughter.

"It's nearly sundown…" Sakon noted.

"Yeah… we'll hit 'em when it's dark, with or without those two…" Kidomaru said, grinning slightly.

---

An hour after sunset, the two set out into the building. They were unnerved by how few people they came across; two. That wasn't nearly enough… Sure, they were utilizing a map, blueprints for the building they'd swiped from the Hokage Tower in their boredom, but still…

That's when they found them… bodies. At least a dozen of them; some unconscious, some bloodied and dead… Atop the pile sat a lone ANBU with silver hair. "I wondered when you would show up… you're quite late, you know." Kabuto muttered as he removed the mask. "Where are Tayuya-chan and Jirobou?"

"We have no clue." Kidomaru said bluntly. "Tayuya went missing, and we sent Jirobou to look for her. He didn't come back."

Kabuto's nigh ever-present smirk faded. "He is most likely dead, then."

Kidomaru and Sakon both flinched slightly. What could kill _HIM_!? "I don't like this… let's just get out of here." Kidomaru muttered.

"Very well…" Kabuto sighed, opening the door he'd piled the bodies against.

"Who are… _YOU two_!?" Sasuke yelled as he caught sight of Kidomaru and Sakon.

"Come on, then… let's get you out of here, and back to Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto said softly, cutting the chakra-draining bindings and seals from him swiftly, yet meticulously.

"Why should I!?" Sasuke yelled again.

"Because I'll kill you if you don't." Kabuto replied venomously, a sickening grin adorning his features as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Sasuke scoffed as he let himself be freed. "You sure they won't come after me again?" Sasuke asked, silently wishing he could once more battle Naruto, and shove a fully-charged Chidori through the blonde's face.

"Oh, they will…" Kabuto sighed. "…which is why I'll stay behind to clean up the mess we made."

The remaining two of the Sound Four eyed their superior suspiciously. Kabuto was NOT that generous. "Are you sure?" Sakon asked.

"You've proven your incompetence… the only thing left for _you_ to do is escort Sasuke-kun to Orochimaru." Kabuto muttered spitefully.

The pair winced again as Kabuto finished undoing Sasuke's bindings. "All right, let's go…" Kidomaru muttered, Sakon and Sasuke following closely behind as he began to sprint down the halls.

"I guess it's my turn…" Kabuto muttered, using Shunshin to transport himself to the roof.

In an instant, he was surrounded by no less than three ANBU squads. "Kabuto, surrender, and we can end this without _killing_ you." A particularly lazy voice said from behind the captain's mask.

_I hate being the distraction…_ Kabuto thought. "This is not going to be a simple fight, will it?" He mused.

"You choose to resist?" The ANBU captain asked, shifting into an offensive posture, his men (including two women) followed suit.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Kabuto announced, smirking. "Kimimaro?"

The dozen ANBU turned just in time to see three of their number bisected in a single swing by a monstrous beast with dark, almost reptilian skin, and massive bones jutting from its back.

---

(Cont. from CH3)

The blonde just smirked. _Just like I thought… I knew she wouldn't say no. _He thought. _Maybe I'm getting a little too good at reading people… nah. She's a good person, deep down. I can tell. _"I said… marry me."

Tayuya inched away from the boy. "Yeah… I said '_details_' fucktard…"

Naruto sighed. "Okay… I'm important, or I will be, it's kinda' confusing. Anyway, so long as you're my fiancé, the council can't throw you out of town or have you executed without the threat of me leaving the village or just plain massacring them all…" Naruto said, adding a morbid chuckle at the end. "Well, we could call the whole thing off after a few weeks, however long it takes Tsunade-baa-chan to register you as a Konoha-nin… then the council wouldn't be able to touch you."

"Legally…" Tayuya muttered.

"Just a technicality, my dear…" Naruto chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Now then… will you marry me?"

Tayuya thought about it for a moment, before burying her face in his chest and mumbling a single, muffled word…

"Tayuya…" Both Naruto and Tayuya jumped up at the voice, watching as Jirobou walked out from the brush behind them. "Who is this boy?"

"Kazama Naruto." The blonde said, smiling arrogantly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Na…ru…to…" Jirobou muttered. "The secondary objective…" He glanced over at Tayuya. _She was seducing him…_ "Good work… now we can catch him…"

With blinding speed for someone his size, the Oto boy dashed toward Naruto, missing as he thrust his open hand to grab the boy's head. He would've turned to continue his non-lethal assault, had he not felt a sharp pain at the base of his skull. "How…?" He muttered, unable to move his limbs.

Tayuya stood behind her old teammate, relishing in the feel of his blood coursing down her arm as she gripped the kunai she'd stabbed into him. "No one threatens my fiancé…" Tayuya said sternly, before smashing her foot into his back, sending him flying over the edge of the cliff that was Yondaime's hair.

"Wow…" Naruto muttered, staring at the lethal femme fatale before him.

"Fuck… I guess this makes me a nuke-nin, huh?" Tayuya asked, smirking maliciously.

"Heh… let's get you home and clean you up… I'll talk to Tsunade-baa-chan tomorrow morning." Naruto said, wrapping his arm around her waist once more as he led her back to his apartment.

---

The pair walked back to Naruto's apartment in silence. Even after their arrival, they barely spoke. Tayuya opted to take a long, hot shower while Naruto checked in with the Hokage; possibly find Tayuya something to wear that didn't happen to have bloodstains on it…

And so, here he was… standing in front of Tsunade. "You did _what_?" She asked. Her normal violent tone held nothing compared to the calm voice promising years of excruciating pain she used now.

"I invited her into my home." Naruto said again. "Tsunade-baa-chan, you have to understand…"

"No, I don't." Tsunade said, rising ominously from her seat. "If I didn't have all of my ANBU either looking for them, or guarding Sasuke, I'd send a team there now to apprehend her."

"You can't be serious…" Naruto growled.

"I am _very_ serious." Tsunade said, stalking out from behind her desk. "And since I don't have any ANBU to send, I'll have to deal with her _myself_."

Naruto saw the way she was heading toward the door… she could've used Shunshin, or the speed attributed to all ninja, but she didn't. It was as if she was daring Naruto to impede her. So he did. "Obaa-chan…" Naruto muttered as he stepped in front of the door. "You can't do this to her."

Tsunade frowned. "Stand aside." Naruto stood firm. "You're disobeying a direct order from your Hokage?" Naruto nodded. "You realize I could have you hanged for this?" Naruto paused for a moment, and nodded. "Is she that important to you?"

Naruto took a deep breath, letting the adrenaline pumping into his system in anticipation of the oncoming battle cool slightly. "She's just like me…" He said, causing Tsunade to pause for a moment. "She's been alone for most of her life. I can tell… all she wants is for someone to care about her." Naruto dropped into a defensive stance and firmly added; "…and _I_ care about her."

Tsunade looked down at the boy she thought of like a little brother or a son, trying to find the reason for his resolve in his eyes. "Do you love this girl?"

Naruto's eyes shot open. He didn't have an answer for her… "I… I don't know…" He muttered.

Tsunade took a step forward, and Naruto braced himself to receive one of her obscenely powerful punches. But it never came… instead, he felt her arms wrap around him. "Well then, if I can't take her in, could I at least meet the girl?" She asked jovially.

Naruto was dumbfounded. First she wants to kill her, now she wants to _meet_ her? "Tsunade-baa-chan… you're not planning anything, are you?" The older woman looked down at the boy with a questioning glance. "If… if I take you to see Tayu-chan… you promise not to hurt her?"

Tsunade continued to look at the boy as if he'd just started speaking in tongues, until she saw the tears forming in his eyes. She instantly switched from overprotective sister to caring mother… "Shh, it's okay… I'm not going to hurt her…" She started, before jokingly adding; "unless she tries to hurt me first…"

Naruto chuckled. "Don't worry, Obaa-chan… I don't think she'll just attack some stranger…" Naruto thought for a second… "Hey, do you have any spare clothes?"

Tsunade cocked an eyebrow at the boy's question. "Why would you need to know?"

"Well… the stuff Tayuya was wearing got kinda'… bloody." Tsunade's eyes widened when Naruto said that, but he didn't show whether or not he noticed. "She killed another Oto nin that came after me… so her shirt at least is ruined."

"She killed one of her own for you?" The older woman asked incredulously.

"Yeah… the fat one." Naruto never bothered to learn the names of the other three. They were just 'the girl' 'the fat one' 'the creepy one' and 'the one with the arms' before he met Tayuya.

"Just a second…" Tsunade said as she walked back into her room; which was there in case she stayed too late to bother going home. In fact, to date she hadn't ever slept in her proper bed, opting instead to use this room. "I'll go see if I've got anything small enough… she's about your age, right?"

"Well, yeah…" Naruto started. "But… she seems a little… _well developed_ for girls my age…"

Tsunade chuckled. "That probably means she's just older than you."

"But she doesn't _look_ more than a couple years older, and yet she's…" He stopped himself, his face flushing crimson.

"Oh?" Tsunade cooed, poking her head out of her room. "Do go on, now…"

Naruto swallowed… hard. "W-well, she… she's about my age… b-but she's about… like Shizune-nee-chan?"

Tsunade's eyes widened slightly. _That brat has no idea how big Shizune is, does he?_ She thought. "Well now, that's impressive…" Naruto looked down at his feet as she continued. "She might wind up as big as me if she keeps filling out at that rate…"

_As big as Obaa-chan!?_ Naruto's wide eyes twitched slightly.

This just caused Tsunade to laugh. "I guess I should grab something that'll fit anybody, huh?" She muttered, grabbing one of Shizune's spare yukata. _She'll never know…_

---

Shortly thereafter, Naruto led Tsunade and her two Chuunin honor guards (Since her ANBU guards were indisposed at the moment) to his apartment. "This is it…" He muttered.

Tsunade looked crestfallen. "You still live in this dump?" She asked. "Didn't I give you the keys to the Kazama estate?"

The two Chuunin looked at each other in shock and confusion before Naruto answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Heheh, I guess I've just been a little too excited these days to remember everything…"

When they reached his door, the Chuunin took up positions on either side of it, as Tsunade gestured to the door. "After you…"

Naruto unlocked the door, led Tsunade inside, and was about to call out when they heard a yell. "_Dammit!_ The fucking water went cold!"

Naruto sighed in embarrassment. "I… guess the water heater gave out again…"

It was then, after the water shut off, that a beautiful red-head stalked out of the bathroom, clad only in a towel. "Damn fucking water… at least it stayed hot longer than it ever did at that fucking snake-fag's place…" Tayuya said to herself.

"Hey, Tayu-chan…" Naruto said, finally announcing his presence. This led to a kunai stuck in the wall right next to his ear.

"Oh fuck! Naruto-kun!" Tayuya yelled, rushing over to pull the knife from the wall. "If I hadn't recognized you at the last second…" She swatted him over the head. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Naruto blushed as the nearly naked girl stomped away. Tsunade decided to make note of something, however, as her eyes widened slightly. "That girl has a curse seal…"

Tayuya flipped the kunai around in her hand, ready to use it should the blonde woman turn hostile. "What of it?" The red-head asked.

"Why would one of Orochimaru's _elites_ betray him?" The Hokage asked in reply, tossing the clothes onto a nearby table… admittedly the _only _table in Naruto's apartment.

Tayuya turned back to glare at the older woman. "Do you have _any_ idea what that fucking bastard put me through?" Tsunade winced. She had _some_ idea… "And lucky me, I got fucked over more than the others for being a fucking _bitch_." She leaned forward, her glare intensifying.

"So then… he…" Tsunade muttered, backing up slightly.

Tayuya sighed, closing her eyes and folding her arms over her chest, kunai still in hand. "I doubt he did what you're thinking of. For _some_ fucked-up reason or another, the fucking snake-fag wasn't catching as many _women_ as men for his fucking _experiments_…" She was starting to rant. "So the few of us he _did_ get his damned hands on got it worse than any _man_." She spat.

Before Tayuya could react, Tsunade caught her in a bone-crushing hug. It took Tayuya a moment to realize the older woman wasn't trying to kill her, but was instead simply embracing her… the woman was just too damn _strong_. Tayuya was especially confused when Tsunade began whispering in her ear. "He didn't… rape you, did he?"

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Tayuya yelled, pushing away from the blonde woman. "I may still be damned _lucky _to be a virgin, but there's no way in fucking hell that _faggot _of a snake-fucker would _ever _lay a hand on me!"

Naruto couldn't help but blush as he realized he was hearing something he wasn't supposed to. He soon found himself backing away slowly, trying to stay out of the conversation… _At least she's still a virgin… NO! Bad thoughts! BAD THOUGHTS!_

"I… well… yes, I can see where you might have a point…" Tsunade said. _That explains why he'd never even look at me while Jiraiya was all over the place… Now that I think about it, he WAS a bad example to base my judgments of Jiraiya's perversion on…_

"So just who the fuck are you, anyway? Is my _boyfriend_ bringing home _strange women_ already?" Tayuya spat playfully.

"B-_boyfriend!?_" Tsunade muttered. _They're already… oh boy._

"Yeah… the little shit cowering in the corner over there is my boyfriend. What the fuck's it to you?" Tayuya scoffed. "Well, technically he's my-"

"TAYU-CHAN!" Naruto jumped in, grabbing the clothes Tsunade brought and pushing his personal vixen into the bedroom. "We should be getting to bed now…" The blonde blushed as he realized what he said. "ERM, we should be getting _YOU_ to bed now!" Naruto pushed the protesting red-head into the room, tossing the clothes in, and shutting the door. That's when he heard the chuckling… "What?" He asked as he looked up at Tsunade.

"Oh, nothing… it just seems like little Naru-chan's _balls_ finally dropped…" She continued her fervent giggling. Naruto didn't appreciate being talked about like a five-year-old…

"HEY!" Naruto shouted. "What's this interest in my _personal bits_ all of a sudden, huh!?"

She only laughed louder. "Oh, it's nothing…"

"Ugh…" Naruto muttered, finally taking his weight off the door and walking over to her. "About the meeting…"

"Tomorrow… rescheduled, just like you asked." Tsunade said, finally calming down. "It'll be after this whole Oto situation dies down a bit… Meet me in my office at noon."

Naruto nodded. "Sure, Obaa-chan…"

Tsunade then turned to leave, pausing in front of the door. "Naruto…" She started, turning back around. "_Have fun_ tonight, ne?" She added with a wink.

Naruto's face flushed crimson as the older blonde fled the premises, cackling like a woman possessed. "_OBAAA-CHAAAAN!!!_" Naruto yelled after her, watching the two Chuunin both halfheartedly smile in embarrassment as they followed their Hokage back to her tower.

Naruto couldn't help but smirk at his surrogate grandmother's antics. "What the fuck're _you _smiling about, brat?" He heard from behind him, instinctively turning on his heel, he then faced a sight at which he struggled to keep all of the blood in his face. Tayuya; in a bright red lace nightgown…

"T… T-T-Tayu-chan!" He muttered, hands clasped over his nose. "What're you _wearing_!?"

Tayuya shrugged. "Fucked if I know… it's for sleeping, right?"

"P-_please_ tell me you're wearing something _under_ that!" Naruto continued, failing miserably as he tried to retain what little composure he had left.

"Under? The old bitch didn't _give_ me anything to wear under it." She muttered.

That did it… aside from the flimsy piece of fabric between them, which was little more than tissue paper to any decent ninja, she was naked. Naruto flung himself towards the bathroom, shouting something about a 'cold shower' but Tayuya could barely make sense of it.

---

After Naruto finally got out of the shower, he stalked into his bedroom to swipe a spare blanket to sleep on the floor with, but was caught in the act… clad only in his boxers. "Naruto-kun, why the _fuck_ are you sneaking around your own damn room?"

The blonde stopped dead in his tracks as the light flicked on, revealing a slightly irked red-head standing beside the switch. "I… erm… didn't want to wake you up." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was just going to get a blanket and sleep out on the floor or somewhere…"

"Oh fuck no you won't…" Tayuya muttered. "You're sleeping in the bed."

"B-but, you should sleep in the bed! You're the girl!" Naruto argued.

"I never said I wasn't sleeping in the damn bed." Tayuya muttered. "We're sleeping together."

"REHH!?" Naruto screeched, backing away from the girl. "B-b-but…"

The red-head sighed. "I never _said_ anything about _fucking,_ dammit! Just _SLEEP_."

Naruto sighed. "O-okay, Tayu-chan…" He muttered as he watched his girlfriend slip under his bedsheets.

Tayuya saw that once again, he was hesitating. "Get… in… the… fucking… bed." She growled.

In an instant, he was under the sheets, trying his best to keep some distance between them, before she wrapped her arms around him. "T-Tayu-chan?"

"Just shut the fuck up and sleep…" She muttered as she snuggled into his shoulder.

* * *

Tayuya kills Jirobou. I bet you never saw THAT coming.

Just so you know, Naruto planned all along to call off the marriage after Tayuya gets registered as a Konoha-nin. After that, they'd go back to the ol' BF/GF thing.

And yes… Sakon is dressed up as a monk. Congrats to everyone who figured it out. XD

I'll warn you now; I have a bad habit of mixing up the names of Tayuya and Temari. If anyone could tell me when I accidentally say the wrong name so I can edit it, that'd be great.

Also, omake regarding the days of each respective Sound Four member while undercover would be utterly hilarious. If you want to write something and send it to me, I'll see about putting it in an upcoming chapter.


	5. The Luck of the Damned

Holy shit, chapter 5…

First off… I started this fic before Yondaime's name was revealed. (Or at least before I found out it had been revealed) So, I used Kazama Arashi, because the name made sense, and sounded good. I _**WAS**_ going to go back and change it to his real name, but just 'cause you brought it up and insulted me for using it, I'm sticking with Kazama Arashi, jackass.

Before anyone makes this assumption again, Naruto can't see chakra (If he could, he wouldn't be able to see through the Kuraikiri, which is MADE of chakra) True, in a high enough concentration, he can, but so can everyone _without_ a Doujutsu. In this fic, the Byakugan was the product of the Shinzenbigan, and an unnamed Doujutsu based around seeing chakra. You know that one red-eye glow-y unnamed Doujutsu from that filler arc? Yeah. That (according to my fic) _ALSO_ evolved from the Kekkei Genkai that crossed with the Shinzenbigan. (The unnamed filler thing _DID NOT_ evolve from the Shinzenbigan, however)

And everyone- it _IS_ possible for Naruto (and anyone really) to learn how to use Jyuuken. He just can't close Tenketsu. _ANY_ ninja can expel chakra out of their palm. Not _nearly_ as proficiently as a Hyuuga, since they train practically since _birth_ to do so, but they can. And thus, they can use the technique to damage organs and musculature. (In fact, I _DO_ have Naruto learn Jyuuken in another of my fics. Look it up if you want to read it)

Now, I don't want to hear any of this 'OMG Naruto can't like Tayuya yet!' or 'The relationship's moving too fast!' or any of that bullshit. I know what I'm talking about when I say it's not. Naruto has been alone most of his life, and that creates all kinds of voids, including a need for companionship, romantic or otherwise. What I'm describing in my fic is a condition I've had first-hand experience with. I'll come right out and say it; no, he doesn't love her. But he _THINKS_ he does. That belief eventually becomes a devotion that can either evolve into a psychotic obsession, or genuine affection. (This is _exactly_ what happened with Sakura) If you can make yourself sick just by _thinking_ you're sick, then you can 'fall in love' the same way. Tayuya's just along for the ride…

* * *

Tayuya's eyes fluttered open slowly as light filtered through the window. It took her a moment to remember why she was in an unfamiliar room, why she was so warm, and why her hand was down some boy's boxers, groping his ass. _Oh, right… Naruto…_ She looked down to see the locks of unruly blonde hair draped over her bare chest. Apparently, her nightgown had gotten pushed up in the night, and he was laying partially on top of her, resting his head on her bare bosom. To be bluntly honest, she thought it was cute… she'd never felt this warm and content before in her life… at least, not that she could remember…

And then he moved… _Why the FUCK is my chest sticky!?_ She screamed in her mind. Taking a hand to her bust as she leaned up slightly, she wiped her hand in the slick substance, and brought it to her nose. _Drool…_ she thought. Her chest was completely covered in spittle.

"Naruto… you _BASTARD!!!_" Tayuya yelled, causing her blonde boyfriend to jump out of the bed. This got him out of the range of the vengeful fist currently occupying the space his skull had previously. This of course, gave him a full view of her nude form.

Naruto shot back as a wave of blood sprayed from his nose. Just as Tayuya managed to pull her nightgown back over herself, she was pelted with the red liquid. "And now… you ruined my favorite nightdress…" Admittedly, her _only_ nightdress, but the point remained valid.

Naruto cowered in the corner as Tayuya gave him a thrashing that reminded him all too much of Sakura, before stalking away into the bathroom to take a shower and wash the blood and spit off of herself. The closest thing Naruto came to a conscious thought was "Oww…"

---

After her shower, Tayuya helped Naruto clean himself up, only giving him enough time afterward to clothe himself before dragging him out of the apartment. "Okay, Naruto-kun, you're my boyfriend, so _you_ get to pay for my new clothes." Tayuya muttered as she led him into a shop by his wrist.

"B-but… I…" Naruto started, before giving up with a heavy sigh. He wasn't getting out of this…

Leading the blonde through the rows of clothes, she found something that made her smirk maliciously. The lingerie section… "Oh, Naruto-_kuuun_," Tayuya cooed. "I want to try on a few things, why don't you tell me what you like, ne?"

Naruto simply stood there, gaping at the girl for about half a minute while his left eye twitched relentlessly. "Are you serious?" He asked finally.

Tayuya smirked maliciously. "Oh fuck yes... you ruined my old one, so you get to help pick out my _new _nightdress, along with a few other… _necessities_."

Naruto silently let his eye twitch for another minute before he sighed and drug himself forward. "This isn't going to end well…" He muttered.

---

An hour and fourteen nosebleeds later, Tayuya strode triumphantly out of the lingerie department with Naruto in tow, letting him carry the bags containing her three new nightgowns, and five sets of undergarments… another half hour later, and Tayuya added half a dozen sets of clothes to her boyfriend's burden.

"Can we go home now?" Naruto asked under his breath as tears began streaming down his cheeks in mourning over the loss of his poor coin purse, Gama-chan.

"Yeah, I suppose we can drop those off before-" Tayuya started, before a pair of ANBU dropped down, one in front and behind them, respectively.

"Uzumaki Naruto…" The one in front of them said. Curiously, his right arm was in a sling, and he had a gash along his mask that went down into his cheek, and by the way he held himself Naruto could tell his left leg was injured as well. "You have been summoned by Hokage-sama… please come with us."

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that the ANBU behind them wasn't faring any better. He had what appeared to be bloodied bandages under a large rip in his uniform along the right side of his chest. The gray armor he wore over it had been replaced, but one could deduce from the shape and angle of the wound that it probably extended over his whole upper torso. "Yeah… okay." Naruto muttered. In their condition, they probably couldn't take both Naruto _and_ Tayuya, so the blonde boy could tell they were just an escort. "Would you mind if I dropped these off first?" He added.

Both ANBU glanced at each other before Tayuya spoke up. "You're just here for Naruto, right?" _Must not swear… must not swear… these are ANBU, dammit! If they get a grudge against me I'm toast…_ She thought. At their nod, she held her hands out to Naruto. "Here, hand those over, I'll take them home."

"You sure?" Naruto asked as he held out the bags for her to take them.

"Yeah, just get done with the fucking _crone_ and come home soon…" Tayuya answered.

"…Crone?" One of the ANBU asked curiously.

Tayuya cursed silently as Naruto took the initiative. "Yup… Tsunade-baa-chan is really like… fifty…"

The pair heard a snicker from the more heavily injured of the ANBU, before he motioned for Naruto and his less-injured partner to follow him. "I'll be back soon, Tayu-chan!" Naruto yelled and waved back at the girl, who smiled before going on her way. "So, guys, what's Obaa-chan want this time?" The two fell silent at the blonde's question. "Erm… guys?" He asked.

"The Uchiha escaped last night." The leader muttered. Naruto was thrown into such a shock that he stopped walking. "If you want to know more, you'd better hurry up… I'm pretty sure I wasn't even supposed to tell you _that _much."

In an instant, Naruto was flying forward at speeds even the injured ANBU were hard-pressed to match. When Naruto arrived, he burst through the door into her office. "Tsunade-baa-ch…" He stopped himself. In front of him, Tsunade had a small stack of red and white forms that she was in the process of filling out. He recognized them instantly… death certificate notarization forms, and the proper notification papers for the families of KIA ninja. He knew for a fact that Tsunade hated filling out such forms, as well as the fact that it would probably be his least favorite aspect of the position as well…

"Sit." Tsunade said, indicating a chair opposite hers.

"Obaa-chan…" Naruto muttered. "What happened?"

She sighed. "Your plan backfired… we underestimated the enemy."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock, and his mouth hung agape. "H-how… how many died?" He asked after a few moments.

"Thirty-one people…" She answered, as stoically as she could, given the circumstances.

"Th… thirty? Thirty-one people…" Naruto muttered, dropping his head into his hands. "By Kami… I got them all killed…"

Tsunade slammed her fist down on her hard oak desk, knocking him out of his stupor. Really, she was proud that she was mastering the art of '_not smashing things_'. "It's not _your_ fault. I gave the orders, and your information was accurate…" She started, sighing. "But there were a few wild cards we _didn't_ account for… Yakushi Kabuto infiltrated the building masquerading as an ANBU himself, and used the element of surprise to get the better of those we placed there."

"But still… who died?" Naruto asked, tears brimming in his eyes.

Tsunade sighed again. "Fourteen ANBU, three Jounin, five Chuunin, and nine members of the Hyuuga clan; eight branch members and one main branch…"

Naruto lunged forward, knocking down the stack of papers that perpetually stood on her desk as he landed on the desk, tightly gripping her shoulders. "Hinata!? Neji!?"

"Both fine." Tsunade said, letting the boy calm down and return to his seat before she continued. "Hiashi wouldn't allow either of his girls near the operation site; and Neji, although he was injured during Kabuto's initial attack, was not seriously harmed. Only slightly bloodied and knocked unconscious."

Naruto sighed in relief. "But… everyone else… Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Super Fuzz-I mean… Gai-sensei…"

Tsunade sighed again, this time much less obviously, however. "Umino Iruka was not one of the Chuunin who confronted the Oto nin. Maito Gai _did_ confront them, but is currently recovering from _minor_ injuries."

"They didn't even _hit_ him, did they?" Naruto asked, slightly embarrassed at the question for some reason as Tsunade smirked and shook her head.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask about _me_…" Naruto heard from behind him, turning to see his 'politics' tutor. "You can be so troublesome…"

"Shikamaru…" Naruto muttered. "You wouldn't fight if you didn't have to."

The Nara boy glanced at the ceiling. "True…" He muttered.

"Tsunade-sama…" The cracked-mask ANBU from before started, "if you are done with me, I'd like to go check on Kakashi-senpai."

"You are dismissed, Yamato…" Tsunade said solemnly.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!?" Naruto yelled.

"Hatake Kakashi was temporarily reinstated to the rank of ANBU Captain for the duration of this operation, as we lacked sufficient numbers to adequately perform all aspects of said operation." Tsunade started as she continued filling out one of the forms. "He led the squads against Yakushi Kabuto and Kaguya Kimimaro. He was one of the three ANBU to survive the confrontation, along with two of his subordinates; Yamato, who just left, and Uzuki Yugao, who was also seriously injured."

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto muttered as his tears spilled down his cheeks. "How badly was he hurt?"

"I don't think now is the time to discuss-"

"_How badly!?_" Naruto yelled, causing the older blonde to wince slightly.

"His spine was the only thing keeping his top and bottom together." Tsunade spat abruptly. "Now do you see why I didn't want to say it?" She instantly regretted saying it when the boy in front of her broke down in tears. "Hey, hey… okay, so I might've been exaggerating a bit…"

"Ih… it's still… my fault…" Naruto choked out through his heaves and sobs.

Tsunade sighed before slowly rising out of her seat, walking around her desk, and firmly striking the boy across his cheek. "I told you, didn't I? It wasn't _your_ fault." She said before returning to her seat. "And even if it was, I can't let anyone who can't even handle a few deaths on their conscience be the next Hokage…"

The blonde boy's eyes widened slightly. "W-what?"

"Do you think I _like_ giving these kinds of orders? Or finding out that by _my _word, people died?" Tsunade continued, lacing her fingers just under her nose as she leaned on the desk with her elbows. "I don't. And _you_ won't either." She added, seeing the boys tears stop for a moment, she sighed, knowing that now she had to _keep_ him from crying again… "Let's go visit Kakashi, then. I should probably check up on him and the others anyway…"

"And after that, you have a meeting with the village council… doesn't he, Tsunade-sama?" A particularly lazy voice said from the door.

"Yes, yes… after this crisis is dealt with." Tsunade muttered. "Now, if you've got anything left to tell Naruto before his meeting, you'd better do it now, on the way to the hospital."

---

"That's frikkin' brilliant…" Naruto muttered as they passed through the doors and into the hospital.

"I find your lack of faith so troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. "…when have any of my ideas been anything _but_ brilliant?"

Tsunade was amazed as she walked behind them. It really _was _brilliant. _Who knew that Naruto would opt for polygamy, though…_ She thought. _Well, this'll mean he'll have at least two wives… a few more wouldn't hurt as far as the council's concerned._ "Okay, we'll go and check on Kakashi; Shikamaru, you go and handle the rest of the preparations for the meeting." Tsunade said before leading Naruto down one of the hallways.

"Yes… ma'am." Shikamaru muttered as he turned to leave. "Why do I always get stuck with the troublesome jobs?"

"Okay Naruto…" Tsunade said as they made their way down the halls. "They'll still be sedated, but just in case, I'll need you to keep your voice down."

Naruto nodded, and let himself be led into the room. He had to stifle an audible gasp at the sight that greeted him, however… Kakashi, the man who always seemed so invincible, so untouchable, was lying in a hospital bed in front of him, covered in red bandages and hooked up to a respirator. Were Naruto in a better state of mind, he would've found it hilarious that the one time he sees the man without his usual facemask, he winds up wearing a fogged-up oxygen mask instead. Of course, he didn't. He was too worried about what his sensei would think had he known it was Naruto that suggested their entire plan. In the bed next to him, there was a woman with long purple hair, Naruto could only assume it was this 'Yugao' person Tsunade had spoken of. She was in a similar condition as Kakashi.

"They don't blame you, y'know…" Tsunade said, placing a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I told them it was your plan from the start. Kakashi told me he had every confidence in your abilities… You didn't make a bad call, Naruto."

"How can you say that?" Naruto asked, his voice cracking as tears streamed down his cheeks. "I nearly got everyone killed!"

Tsunade sighed. Getting through the boy's thick skull was going to be hard on both of them. "Do you know what the average survival rate for an ANBU is?" Naruto just gave her a blank stare. "Thirty-seven percent…"

The boy's eyes shot wide. "You mean…"

"Sixty-three percent of all ANBU that leave the village don't come back." She said, nodding. "We only lost about half of the people we had working on this. To be blunt, it went better than expected…" Naruto didn't speak, but his sobbing continued. "Everyone dies, Naruto. Ninja or not… The ANBU are just the ones that decide to fall in battle, so others don't have to. In the end, the same could be said of any decent Hokage… that's why none of them died of old age." She added, smirking as she ruffled the boy's blonde hair. "And with that track record, I won't either."

"Ob-baa-chan!?" Naruto yelled, looking up at the woman fearfully.

"Hey, I didn't say I was dying tomorrow, brat…" Tsunade muttered, giving the boy a light bonk on the head. "But… truth be told, I never liked the thought of getting old. So I guess that's a good thing, huh?" She added, lightly ruffling his hair again as she stared blankly at the wall. One could only wonder what was going through her head…

"You're already old…" Naruto muttered, shortly before his skull cracked the linoleum of the floor. The woman sighed as she watched the boy rub his bruised and, in the case of his nose, bleeding, face. Deciding she'd done a little too much, she began to heal the wounds she'd dealt the boy when his words stopped her. "I don't think I'll like getting old either…"

The elder blonde chuckled slightly. "You won't have to worry about that for a good while, Naruto-kun." As she began repairing his broken nose, she added; "You'll always be a little brat to me, though."

"And you'll always be an old hag to me…" Naruto added with a smile of his own. Tsunade reared her fist back to give the boy another concussion, but instead sighed in resignation. He'd _never_ stop calling her old…

Little did they know that a certain ANBU captain was smirking under his clouded oxygen mask…

---

Naruto stood in front of the entire council. Shikamaru sat beside Tsunade, with Iruka opposite her as an advisor toward the blonde, since he knew Naruto far better than anyone on the council. All eyes bored down into his soul, and under the insane weight that would make most Jounin buckle, this boy did the unthinkable.

He smirked.

"What if I told you…" Naruto started, an all-knowing edge to his voice that had gone unheard in the council chambers since the late Yondaime. "That I held the key to your precious _Sharingan_?"

* * *

Wow. Uberevil cliffy there, ne? Anyway, sorry this chapter took so long, but I got back into a few things that kept pulling me away… (Disgaea 2, various anime, WoW, the works)

Now, someone asked why Chidori is an assassination technique. Simple, really… at the speed one needs to _use_ it properly, by the time the target even _hears_ the technique, all they have time to do is turn to see what the hell is making the noise. (Which, in fact, works to the attack's favor as that would give Kakashi or whoever was using it a better angle to strike with) The only times I've ever seen it used, it wasn't even used properly. (I know, I know… "READ MORE OF THE MANGA RAWR" to be honest, I've only read up through the Rescue Gaara arc. That's all I've ever needed for my fics) To properly execute the Chidori, one begins their run _BEFORE_ initiating the jutsu. They'd already be up to speed before they even start making the noise. This does however, require a mile or more to do, since one moves in a straight line while using it.

Now, before you get all up in my business about it, there is no 'm' in Japanese, so the word 'Sempai' does not exist. There _are_ 'm-_line_' words, Ma, Mi, Mu, Me, and Mo, but no plain 'M'. For the word 'Sempai' to work, it would be four letters, 'Se-M-Pa-I' this does not work. The closest thing woule be 'Semupai' which _might _work, but I doubt it. There _is_ an 'N' in Japanese, though, making 'Senpai' a possible word. (M and N sound a _LOT_ alike in that situation, so I think it's a simple case of mistranslation)


	6. Convictions

Kekekekeke…

Just a word to all you out there who might try this, _never_ double-update… I wake up after putting up a new chapter for TBH _and_ ORE, and _BAM_, _thirty-two_ new emails. Why ever did I promise myself to at least _read_ every review?

Aaanyway, I don't think I made the council too 'stupid' or 'eager' I mean, I personally think the non-ninja councilmen really _would _be pretty stupid… That, and the ninja councilmen just hate him, so that's a problem. Either way, I don't think I really messed up. (Hiashi I think is understandable, I mean, he hates the Uchiha, and all that Sharingan bullshit…)

My Beta also told me all about how the Chidori doesn't take a mile to do. (He says it's closer to a quarter or half mile) I mean, that works. I changed that in the last chapter before posting it, but _apparently_ it didn't save right or something… no idea why it didn't.

There was a bit of an error on my part, since I actually introduced Shikamaru twice in one scene in the last chapter… I'll probably change it later, but don't expect it to be any time soon. I'm just lazy like that… like I'm sure a lot of people do, I think in 'screenplay' and I have to then transmoglify that into a decent story… this can sometimes lead to mix-ups and missing details. Rewriting that part to correct it would require a complete overhaul of the scene. I'm not doing that. It's too troublesome.

ALSO… to everyone that thinks Tayuya and Naruto are moving too fast… not really. Most fics I've read have Tayuya secretly afraid of human contact, or just unable to show affection of any kind because she doesn't understand it. I'm going along similar, yet completely different lines with this fic. In theory, there's just as much chance that she'd have absolutely _NO _problems with expressing intimate signs of affection simply because (much like Naruto) she never really had anyone there to teach her just what isn't appropriate to do. Given her upbringing in Oto, she's even _less _likely to know what isn't 'okay' to do than Naruto. (And thus just acts on assumptions and what she's heard about. [See CH3 when Tayuya practically tried to _mount_ the boy)

((The opposite of '[' won't work no matter how many times I try it. Not my fault it ain't there))

* * *

_Under the insane weight that would make most Jounin buckle, this boy did the unthinkable._

_He smirked._

"_What if I told you…" Naruto started, an all-knowing edge to his voice that had gone unheard since the late Yondaime. "That I held the key to your precious Sharingan?"_

((Recap over; ON WITH THE SHIT!!!))

Everyone in the room, save Naruto and Shikamaru, either gasped audibly, or hissed as they sucked in air through gritted teeth, 'gaspers' including Tsunade and Iruka. "How is this possible?" Hiashi, one of the many who still had his teeth grinding together after his snakelike intake, asked.

Naruto let out a slow breath. He wouldn't admit it, but he was nervous. One of the things he'd practiced with Shikamaru was dealing with this sort of pressure, and learning to cope with it. Sadly, what they found worked best was smirking evilly and acting like you know more than everyone else there. Naruto found such a resemblance between himself and the old bastards he was now staring down that he'd actually made himself sick days before. "It's simple, really… All Kekkei Genkai start the same way; when two people with a specific gene, either a superior or unstable one, breed. Personally, I'd put my money on unstable…"

"How dare you…" Hiashi started again, only to be cut short by the blonde.

"When two people with unstable genetics centering on the same focal point, in this case the eyes, breed, there is a chance that the genes will react with one another, and thus make a Kekkei Genkai; in this case, a Doujutsu. Similar Kekkei Genkai can also be blended together to form a new one, as happened long ago when _my_ ancestors… _intermingled_ with another Doujutsu-bearing clan, thus creating the Byakugan."

"Blasphemy…" Hiashi cursed under his breath. "The Byakugan is the oldest of Konohagakure's Doujutsu!"

"_Technically, _yes. The Hyuuga _did_ join Konoha first, thus they are the oldest of _Konoha's_ Doujutsu clans." Naruto said, shrugging his shoulders. "So what if my clan came second… we were around _way_ before you guys. We just never felt the need to argue about it."

"It _is_ true, however…" A new voice beside Hiashi stated, placing a large scroll before the Hyuuga head. This newcomer was none other than his nephew, Neji. "The Byakugan was born of the Shinzenbigan, as stated in the Hyuuga records."

After looking the scroll over briefly, Hiashi grunted his disapproval, but let the subject fall. "What does this have to do with the Sharingan? The Uchiha are derived from the _Hyuuga_, not the Kazama."

Neji immediately took this as his cue to gather up the scroll and leave. As one of the few people privy to Naruto's plans, he didn't want to be anywhere near Hiashi for the next few days. "Hiashi-sama…" Naruto started, crossing his arms as his smile began to fade. "The Sharingan was the product of a union between our two clans. In other words, my children _could_ possess the Sharingan, provided their mother was a Hyuuga…"

Hiashi narrowed his eyes; the only sign left of the burning rage that welled within him. "Then I take it you brought this up to sway the council and my clan into permitting you to marry a woman from my clan…"

"Pretty much…" Naruto muttered, shrugging. "But of course, there's no guarantee there'll be any Sharingan from it. I mean, to be honest I'm pretty sure it's something like a fifty percent chance it'll be either the Byakugan or my Shinzenbigan, or a quarter chance it'll be the Sharingan."

"And the other twenty-five percent?" one of the other councilmen asked.

Naruto shrugged again. "No clue whatsoever."

"What do you mean!?"

"Red eyes aren't natural. Wouldn't you agree?" Naruto muttered, more to himself than the council. "They tried breeding together the Sharingan and Shinzenbigan once. I'm pretty sure that's how the Yuuhi clan came about… just a botched mix." The representative from the aforementioned clan was furious, but it went unnoticed. "Then again, they might have the most powerful Kekkei Genkai in existence, and it's simply impossible to activate…"

The entire room went silent. It remained thus for another minute before Hiashi spoke again. "Do you have a girl in mind? One from my clan…"

"Well…" Naruto started, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I figure it'd be wrong just marrying a girl I don't even know, and the only Hyuuga girl I know happens to be… eheh… your daughter…"

Anger in its lesser forms was completely lost on Hiashi now; he was practically foaming at the mouth in sheer rage... So much so that several people thought they saw steam rising from him; but shook it off as a mirage or hallucination. It was most surprising though, that it was not Hiashi at all that spoke next. "Hinata or Hanabi?" One of the councilmen asked. His clan was rather close with the Hyuuga; at least as close as one can _get_ to the Hyuuga… "Hell, why not both?" He blurted out.

"_WHAT!?_" Came Hiashi's frenzied roar as he shot from his chair.

The man gave a placating smile, gesturing for Hiashi to retake his seat as he began to explain himself. "Your daughters are, in fact, descended from the purest of all Hyuuga blood, are they not?" Hiashi didn't answer. It was obvious what it would be though. Of _course_ they were… "Then would it not stand to reason that they are the best candidates for this… arrangement?" He tried to word it as nicely as he could, and failed miserably. The girls were nothing but breeding stock as far as most of the council were concerned now… "If the boy is correct in his assumption at the numbers, then clearly they _would_ bear a child with the Byakugan to carry on as the head of your clan…"

They expected them to bear children. _Many_ children… Eventually one with the Byakugan would be born, and this logic began to sway many of the council. "I _would_ also need a girl _without_ a Kekkei Genkai… to make sure the Shinzenbigan and my clan name are passed on." Naruto began again, bringing all eyes back to him. "But I think I've got that covered."

"What do you mean?" Hiashi asked. This was between him and the brat, now… Everyone seemed surprised except for Shikamaru… even Tsunade.

"Ehh… I figure my fiancé would be up to the job…" Naruto said, shrugging and smirking once more.

"_Fiancé!?_" Tsunade yelled.

"Yeah! I asked her to marry me!" Naruto yelled cheerfully, knowing Tsunade would be able to figure out who he was talking about.

"Kami… you don't mean…" Tsunade muttered, apparently having been heard by Naruto, as he was vigorously nodding.

"Who is it you're talking about?" Another faceless politician asked.

"Oh, her name isn't important, you wouldn't know it anyway." Naruto scoffed. "What you _should_ know is that she's a little older than me, and thus nearly of mothering age…" This got the council muttering and talking amongst themselves. Truthfully, Naruto didn't plan on having kids for a long, _long_ time; but they didn't need to know that…

After another few moments that seemed like hours, an old man stood and said; "You may go, Uzumaki. We will send you any required documentation regarding our final decision regarding what has been said here today."

---

"Are you _fucking_ serious!?" Tayuya muttered, barely holding in her laughter.

"Hell yeah…" Naruto said, chuckling away. "The looks on their faces were priceless… especially Hiashi…"

Naruto had just returned home from the meeting, and after a simple 'how did it go?' from Tayuya, the blonde went to work regaling her with the finer points (what he thought of as the 'finer points' anyway) of the meeting. Including how they now thought she was his fiancé, and the fact that Naruto was intent on taking multiple wives. "I still don't like the thought of sharing, you know…" She muttered.

Naruto groaned slightly and put up his hands in a comfortably familiar seal. "Not too often you'll have to, y'know…" A Kage Bunshin said as it popped into existence behind her. "Hell, I'm the _clone_ and I've got enough chakra to make dozens of clones…"

Tayuya scoffed. "So when I'm _lonely_, you're just going to stick me with some copy?"

"Actually, funny story about that…" Naruto muttered as the clone vanished into a cloud of smoke. "Everything my clones do, in a way, _I_ do. I remember everything from their point of view, so even if it's a clone with you, I'll remember it like it was me and really, it _is_ me… or at least 'me' when I make it; they think just like me and they've got all my memories…"

"Okay, whatever…"

"Honestly! You'd never tell it wasn't me!" Naruto said, waving his arms frantically as he childishly emphasized his words. Before he could continue his attempts to persuade the young woman into understanding however, they were both interrupted by a knock at the door. Naruto made his way to the entrance to his home in an instant, flinging the door open with gusto, pleasantly surprised by who he saw. "Tsunade-baa-ch-!"

Before Naruto could finish his words, he was flung through the room by a solid fist to his jaw. "I can't believe you of all people would get yourself engaged to a woman the _same day_ that you met her! MARRIED! Do you have _ANY_ idea what that means!? Of course not! You're _TWELVE_ for Kami's sake!" Tsunade raged, storming into the room and immediately pacing around like a predator itching to strike down anything that moved.

"Hey bitch, you can't come in here and fuck around with _my_ man just because you don't like what the fuck I am to him!" Tayuya yelled.

Unfortunately, she just happened to be yelling at a pissed off half-drunk Hokage… "And _YOU_!" Tsunade snapped, turning her wrath upon the red-head "You're barely older than he is! Hell, I bet neither of you are even _old enough_ to get married! Damn those bastards on the council for okaying this shit…" The older woman raved, too focused on the girl to notice Shizune sweeping past her and into the room Naruto flew into, fearing for the boy's life after hearing the resounding 'crash' that had ensued. "I don't know who you think you are, but you're damned psychotic if you think I'd let Naruto marry some damned Oto whore he just met! Do you have _any_ idea what the hell this would _DO_ to the rest of his life!?"

Tayuya smirked at the irony of it. "Why the hell would I?" She asked, choking on her voice as she tried to keep it calm and reserved. Having a crazy snake bastard yell at her for hours, she could handle. Having some perverted fag with a snake fetish scream at her, she could deal with. Having the one person she knew could keep her and Naruto apart insult her like this… that was just wrong. "_Of COURSE I don't you BITCH!_" The girl screamed, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "How the _fuck_ would I know how bad I'd _fuck up_ his life!? I've never had a boy so much as _look _at me before Naruto! Fucked if I know why he gives a damn about me, but he _does!_" Tayuya slowly advanced on the older woman until she could smell the liquor on the blonde's breath. "And I'll be _damned_ if I let you _fuck up_ whatever it is we have, even if we're _not_ getting married!"

Tsunade was easily taken aback by the red-head's outburst. One could even call it a sobering moment… one she dearly needed. "Not getting married? What do you mean?"

Tayuya backed off a few feet before slumping back into Naruto's couch. Usually she was just a bubbling pot of festering rage… but exploding like that really took a lot out of her. "We never planned on getting married… it's just something Naruto came up with in case the council tried to do anything to me before _you_ could make me a damned citizen here so they couldn't touch me… then we'd call it off and try to date like normal people."

"Ah… now I get it." Tsunade muttered, sitting down next to the girl. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding." Thinking for a moment, she realized just how badly they needed to change the subject, and decided to lighten the mood. "So, you really never caught anyone's eye back home?"

Tayuya, if possible, looked even more dejected and downtrodden than she had moments earlier. "None that wouldn't treat me any better than a hunk of meat with holes in the right places…"

Tsunade winced at that. Her plan to cheer the girl up failed miserably. "Naruto isn't like that." The older woman said softly. "And you're nothing like I thought you'd be either."

"So now I'm good enough, eh?" Tayuya chuckled.

Tsunade nodded. "You'll be… good for him, I think." She said, before lifting herself to her feet and stalking away to wherever the blonde boy landed. Shizune had moved him onto his bed, and was healing the minor wounds he'd sustained from the impact, fretting over him like the older sister she always seemed to be to him. "Shizune…" When she got no answer, she tried again. "Shizune?" and again… "_Shizune!_"

"EH!?" She jumped, flailing to her feet from Naruto's bedside. "Y-yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"Is he going to wake up anytime soon?"

"I'm awake now…" The blonde boy in question muttered, leaning up and rubbing his still aching skull. "No thanks to you…"

"Well, we need to talk to you, if you can." Tsunade continued. "In private…" She muttered, glancing over to the red-head that'd followed her from the couch.

Tayuya grumbled a few inaudible curses before turning her back to the trio. "I'll be in the shower."

Tsunade sighed… the girl needed to hear it too; but from Naruto, not her. As soon as she heard the water start up, she nodded and turned back to the boy. "You fucked up… bad."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched upward. "You know, you've got a lot more in common with Tayu-chan than I thought…" He muttered, causing the older blonde to pause for a moment.

Deciding to think his statement over later, Tsunade continued. "The council has agreed to permit a special-case marital arrangement for you… In other words, you can marry as many girls as you want… on a few conditions." Seeing the boy's face light up before falling into concern told Tsunade all she needed to hear about how much he wanted to know what his new 'rules' were. "The first is… a _minimum _number of women." She hissed out venomously. "I'm not going to tell you what the numbers are yet… but I _am_ going to tell you that if you don't have a certain number of wives lined up at a certain age, the council is going to find them _for_ you. I'm sure you don't want that…"

"Hell no…" Naruto mumbled.

"There's another stipulation that has something to do with that, but I'm sure you're going to _hate_ this one…" Tsunade started. "Because you're bloodline is so… _valuable_… They're not going to let you leave the village until you've got an heir that can carry on in case you die on a mission."

"_WHAT!?_" Naruto roared. "They… they can't do that! That's ninja business, and they're the _civilian_ council! What about Sasuke!? They didn't make _him_ leave an heir!"

"They _tried_ to…" Tsunade said. "There are quite a few records about the fuss they made over Sasuke's consistent refusals to do so."

"I knew he was gay…" Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Even gay men can _fill a cup_, Naruto. He was just stubborn, something about not letting the council pick his clan's gene pool for him."

"I'm sure you don't want that either, right Naruto-kun?" Shizune asked, deciding to make her presence known again.

"Yeah… hate to say it, but Teme had a point there…" Naruto muttered as he bit down on his furled index finger. "Still, what to do about that damn ban on me leaving…"

"Well… all you need is an heir…" Shizune mumbled, blushing slightly.

"Well… wait, what?" Naruto asked, looking from one woman to the other. "You mean _have a kid_, right?"

Shizune nodded. "Don't you know any women old enough to bear children that you could talk to?"

"Well… I… uhhm… about what's the age group again?" Naruto asked shyly.

"Hmm… around fifteen to fourty-five is about the age women _can_ have children, but twenty to thirty is usually the safe age…" Naruto gave the older blonde a blank look as she spoke. He never expected her to answer the question _at all_. "So, are you… close to any women that age?"

Naruto struck a thinking pose, going over everyone he knew personally in the easiest way he could think of; in the order he met them. And then it hit him. Glancing between the older women, he blushed before tapping his index fingers together much like he'd seen Hinata do many times before. _Huh… does Hinata do this because she always feels as embarrassed as I do now? That doesn't make any sense…_he thought, shaking his head to get his mind back on topic. "Well… there is _one_ girl… erm… woman… _young_ woman… I think she's the right age. I mean, I should know, I see her practically _every day_…" Naruto chuckled, reverting back to a lesser form of showing embarrassment that he was far more familiar with; rubbing the back of his neck. "But…" The boy added, sounding downtrodden. "Well, she's like an older sister to me… I'm not sure if it'd be right."

Tsunade and Shizune glanced at each other, both curious who the woman in question could be… moreover, who in all of Konoha was a big sister to Naruto? "Well…" Tsunade muttered, taking the initiative after the awkward silence. "Why not ask her about it?"

"Are you _kidding_!?" Naruto snapped. "You can't just walk up to someone and ask them to _bear your children!_"

Tsunade and Shizune both blushed at that before simultaneously muttering "right…"

"Why not… try something simple? Like making small-talk and working her age in?" Shizune asked halfheartedly. "You _did_ say that you weren't sure about her age…"

"I thought it was rude to ask a woman about her age…" Naruto stated cautiously.

"Well… it is…" Shizune muttered.

"If you don't have any tact…" Tsunade added. "If you work it into casual conversation, then it's not as bad."

"Tch… well then, what about you, Shizune-nee-chan? Obaa-chan looks about as old as you, but I doubt you're a _hundred_ and sumthin'…" Naruto dodged several swift punches and kicks from the enraged Hokage.

"I… actually I'm twenty-eight years old…" Shizune muttered with a strange conviction that halted the rampaging Tsunade and Naruto, both now looking her way… and wondering why she was beet red. "W-why do you ask?"

"Curious." Naruto shrugged.

"Naruto, listen to me…" Tsunade said, recapturing the boy's attention. "Jiraiya is going to be heading out in a few days… and he'd like to take you with him. I'll tell you the details later, but sufficed to say you don't have too long to talk to your mystery-woman about an heir."

Before Naruto could stop them, the duo were already outside his apartment, heading back towards the Hokage tower. "Ts-Tsunade-sama…"

"Yes, Shizune; is something wrong? You're stuttering again…"

"I… I think Naruto-kun was… talking about…" Shizune trailed into inaudible muttering.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked.

"Ototou was talking about me…" Shizune said, hanging her head slightly.

_Little brother? Naruto? _Tsunade thought. _Holy shit…_ "Well, I guess the question now is whether or not you'd mind bearing a child with him…" The older woman shrugged, hiding her otherwise obvious repugnance regarding what she was hearing and saying.

Shizune simply flushed red, finding her hands clasped together in front of her dreadfully interesting for some reason…

---

Naruto had found his way to bed soon after the women left his home, and Tayuya wordlessly slipped under the sheets to cuddle up next to him. The boy was too lost in thought to say or do anything… _I should probably ask Ayame-nee-chan how old she is tomorrow…_

---

Naruto and Tayuya woke much more… _pleasantly_ than they had the prior morning. Tayuya was snuggled up against Naruto's chest as she lay atop him, having somehow unbuttoned his pajama shirt in her sleep, thrown his odd nightcap across the room, and left a tear halfway up his left pant leg… how, neither could figure. Her garb however, was strangely untouched in comparison. Pushed up and ruffled with a small rip in the lace trim that must've gotten caught on one of Naruto's buttons… Luckily, she had wisely decided to wear panties to bed, so no harm was done.

After a quick discussion regarding their plans for the day, the two ate a quick breakfast of cereal and toast before heading their separate ways; Naruto to Ichiraku's and Tayuya to Tsunade's office to start on her registry as a Konoha-nin.

Naruto's job was simple… talk to Ayame, ask her age, and numbers permitting, request that she bear his first child… no pressure.

"Naruto!" The familiar feminine voice of the Ichiraku daughter chimed. "Here for a bit o' brunch?"

Naruto gave her a questioning look before shaking his head slightly. "Nah… not really too hungry…" Ayame stifled a gasp. "I… I'm actually here to talk to… you." He said, doing his best to keep himself from blushing. "I'll probably want a bowl or two before I leave, anyway."

"Oh… well, what did you want to talk about?" Ayame asked as she began cleaning one of the bowls from an earlier customer.

"Erm, well… hey, where's the old man?"

"Oh, father doesn't always come in this early… I wasn't expecting you for another few hours, Naruto-kun." Ayame said, smiling broadly.

"Heh… must be tough getting old, huh?" Naruto asked abruptly.

"Hey, he's not as old as he looks."

_This is my chance!_ Naruto thought, his eyes widening slightly. "I bet you look pretty young for your age, though, right?"

Ayame blushed slightly. "Oh stop it. If anything, I look older… I'm only seventeen, you know…"

_Ah…_ Naruto thought, scrunching up his face a bit. _Well, she's a little young, but not too much so. Still, I'll ask Tsunade first, and then ask to Ayame-nee-chan if Obaa-chan okays it._ "Well, I bet you get asked out a lot, huh?"

"Every now and then…" She answered "Why this sudden interest in my dating life? I'm not sure my boyfriend would appreciate it…" She added with a rather flirty wink.

"Oh… boyfriend?" _…shit._ "Never mind, then." Naruto said, smiling.

"Wh-what do you mean 'never mind'?" Ayame asked, blushing brightly.

Naruto sighed. "Well… the truth is, there's this weird clan… Kekkei Genkai… thing." He muttered, shrugging. "It just so happens the council's gotten themselves obsessed over mine, and now they won't even let me out of the village if…" Naruto stopped himself, spinning around on the stool so that he faced away from her, hiding his reddened cheeks. "…if I don't leave my genes behind _just in case_…"

"So then…" Ayame started, her blush magnifying alongside Naruto's.

Naruto immediately spun back to face her, an insanely wide smile plastered on his maw. "Like I said, never mind…" He said before hopping off of the stool and jogging away. "I'll be back later!"

Ayame watched as the boy she thought of like a little brother ran off. _I was kidding about having a boyfriend… _She thought to herself. _But then again, I like to draw the line at LEGAL when it comes to guys… he's just too young. _She nodded. _So why the hell can't I stop blushing!?_

---

Tayuya stood in front of the Hokage's desk, oddly silent as she waited for the older woman to speak. "Well, you're just the person we wanted to talk to… right Shizune?" Without giving her assistant time to reply, she continued. "Aside from Naruto-kun himself, anyway… We've got some papers for you to fill out, and a few things to ask you regarding… Naruto's children..."

Tayuya scowled. "I plan to birth a good number of the fuckin' runts. What's it to _you_?"

Shizune was next to speak; "Naruto-kun has been… restricted to travel within the city walls." When the redhead started glaring her down, Shizune quickly strung words together. "Naruto can't leave until he has an heir we can breed even if he doesn't come back!" After realizing what she'd said, she couldn't help but feel heavily deflated.

"You want _me_ to-?" Tayuya started, until the Hokage interrupted her.

"Of course not, you're much too young to be a mother…" She smirked. "Of course, there are other options…" Nodding to Shizune, she leaned forward and clasped her hands together in thought as if waiting for something.

"I…" Shizune started before bowing as low as she could manage while standing. "I would be honored if…" She took a deep breath before continuing "…If you would permit me the privilege of bearing your lover's first child."

To say Tayuya was shocked would be a monumental understatement. "Wh-why the _FUCK_ would I be okay with it!?"

"I… I've always wanted children of my own." Shizune said, rising from her bow. "But I've never found anyone I could settle down with… and now… Naruto-kun needs a child to restore his full shinobi status a-…"

"Two birds with one stone?" Tayuya asked; an edge of irritation in her tone. Shizune nodded slowly. "Well, don't think I'm going to be fucking _fine_ letting some _bitch_ twice my _fucking_ age fuck _MY_ man!" Tayuya paused for a moment before her stance faltered, letting her body sink to mirror her own depressive state. "But I'm… not ready to be a mom."

"And for Naruto to get his right to travel back, he needs a child… preferably a son." Tsunade said, getting odd looks from the other two, causing her to drop into her thinking pose, with her hands clasped and hiding the lower half of her face. "A woman can give birth to only one child at a time, while a man, like Naruto, can have several children at once with more than one woman." Tayuya and Shizune nodded in understanding. "I don't like saying it, but the council has at least one good point; Naruto's bloodline is important. Personally, I hate the Uchiha as much as the next person in their right mind, but the Sharingan is _damn_ powerful, not to mention Naruto's own Shinzenbigan…"

"Well then… uhhm…" Shizune started, walking up to Tayuya. "Should we… give Naruto-kun the good news?"

"Yeah, sure… why the fuck not?" Tayuya muttered, leading the older woman out of the office.

Just then, the trio heard an odd cry in the distance… it sounded like… squealing? Tayuya and Shizune just shrugged it off, but Tsunade knew better…

_It looks like Hinata-chan just found out who she's marrying…_

---

Naruto _also_ heard the odd shriek of joy, but he didn't know what to make of it, so he just kept walking on his way to Tsunade's office, oblivious to the fact that Tayuya and Shizune were already on their way straight back to their apartment. Once he arrived, Tsunade looked rather surprised to see him… mostly because he actually chose to _open_ the door instead of _kicking it in_. "Obaa-chan?" He asked, walking up to her desk after seeing that the room was empty aside from the Hokage herself. "Onee-chan didn't work out. Turns out she's got a boyfriend or something. Figures, eh?"

Tsunade's eyes shot open for an instant before slowly returning to normal. "You mean… you _weren't_ talking about… oh dear." Tsunade muttered.

"Hmm? What're you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing Naruto… just be sure you head home soon." _Like… NOW?_

"Actually, I was kinda' hoping you'd let me check on Kakashi-sensei again… see how he's doing, y'know?" Naruto muttered, causing Tsunade to sigh.

"Okay… one _quick_ visit, and then you get your ass home to sleep." Tsunade said as she rose to her feet and led the way. Knowing the boy would be rather _curious _as to her intentions, Tsunade quickly thought up an excuse. "You need to rest up for… the mission I've got planned for you tomorrow." _…shit._

"Mission? What mission!?" Naruto asked, half ecstatic with a surprising amount of frustration and anxiety mixed in. "I can't leave the village, remember? I'm pretty _damn_ sure there's no decent missions _inside_ the village…"

"Oh, you'll find it's rather important… to you." _Yeah… that works_. She thought as she came up with the perfect mission for him. "You'll be briefed tomorrow at noon."

"Noon?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

"I expect you'll be… _busy_ until then." Her words just left the boy more confused.

---

When they arrived at the hospital room, they were greeted by a familiar wave and a lazy "Yo…"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, running up beside the bed and nearly tackling the man before remembering that he was injured. "So, you're okay, then?"

"Ah, well…" Kakashi started, before Naruto noticed he was still wearing his oxygen mask, a fact that was obviously bothering the copy ninja. Turning to a nearby nurse, Kakashi made a motion obviously discerned as 'can't I take this off?' As she helped him remove the thing, Naruto saw the nurse flush red for a moment before Kakashi turned back to the boy, miraculously fully masked once more. "I'll be fine in another few weeks. So, Naruto, what brings you here?"

"I was worried… and I still feel a little guilty for-…"

"Don't." Kakashi cut in. "Every ANBU dies young. One of the reasons I resigned, actually… If ANBU didn't do these dangerous missions, then who would? _Someone_ would have to." Naruto nodded slowly in understanding. "Every ANBU knows what they're doing when they join. We're the people that happen to be strong enough to stand _any_ chance of coming back from these missions…" Kakashi looked down at his heavily bandaged torso. "No ANBU expects to come back from any of their missions… that's how we're trained. Some of us…" he started, glancing over at the still unconscious purple-haired ANBU woman. "…don't _want_ to come back." He added sadly.

"I… see." Naruto muttered.

Trying to lighten the mood, Kakashi decided a change of topic was in order… "So, I hear you've gotten yourself engaged…" He smirked as the boy blushed with embarrassment. "I'd like to meet the girl that managed to get you to give up on Sakura…" Naruto hissed through his teeth when he heard her voice. "Speaking of which, how is she? I haven't heard from her in a while…"

"She's… Haruno-san is fine." Naruto muttered angrily. "Just a little bitchy since her little _boyfriend_ left her…"

Kakashi honestly never expected this sort of reaction from the boy… almost like he _hated _her. "I'm sure Sakura-kun will get over it eventually… for the sake of her career, at least."

"I don't happen to share your faith in her." Naruto muttered as he turned to leave. "I need to go and rest up for my mission tomorrow, according to Tsunade-baa-chan. I'll talk to you later."

When Naruto had finally left, Tsunade walked up to Kakashi's bed and sighed. "They had a bit of a… falling out. You shouldn't hold Naruto responsible for it."

"I don't. I'm the one to blame for not realizing what was happening…" Kakashi answered.

"I think you should know… I got an anonymous report stating that Haruno Sakura… openly expressed her desire to become a missing-nin to follow Sasuke shortly before being knocked unconscious." Tsunade continued.

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto?"

"Probably…" Tsunade replied. "Just watch the girl… she's rather emotional right now."

"Thank you for telling me, Hokage-sama… I'll speak to her myself after I'm released from the hospital."

---

Once Tsunade was safely back in her office, she reached down into one of the many 'secret' compartments in her desk and removed a bottle of Sake. Interestingly enough, her stashes kept restocking themselves… _Probably Shizune…_ She mused.

And then came the knock on her door. "Enter…" She sighed.

Tenten slowly and shyly made her way into the room, closely followed by her teammate, Hyuuga Neji. The behavior wasn't like the girl at all, even Tsunade could tell, and she barely knew her… "What's wrong?" Tsunade asked.

"Go on…" Neji chimed in his own encouragement, nodding his head towards the Hokage.

"I… that is, uhm. You see…" Tenten muttered, acting more like Hinata than herself. Then Neji placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and she nodded to him before taking a deep breath. "I… I want to marry Naruto-kun!" she blurted.

Tsunade simply sat there, letting her eye twitch. This was going to be a _very_ interesting day…

* * *

As stated in the previous chapter, I'm not changing the names. I'm sticking with Kazama Arashi, and that's that. Wrong or not, I like it, and I'm doing it because someone _insulted me_ for using it. You got a problem with that? Take it up with Kishimoto for waiting so damn long to reveal the name. 

To be blunt, the _possible_ ages (according to various records) that a woman can give birth are from 5 to 60 or so years old. (Trust me, it's possible, especially in this day and age when girls are 'developing' younger every year) Women from 50 to over 60 _can_ become pregnant, but require a donor egg from another woman to do so. Before going into this research, I had previously believed the youngest birth-mother on record to be seven years old, not 5 years and 7 months old. (Apparently having conceived the child at the age of 4) It is also my impression from the sparse records I've encountered that no mother 10 or under has ever given birth without a caesarean section surgery.

'-Kun' is often used by teachers for _both_ genders of students.


	7. Vindications

Yup…

Just in case anyone doesn't know, there's a problem with the site in that whenever you use one of those 'linebreaker' thingies to separate stuff (I use them to separate the Foreword and Afterword from the fic) it sometimes cuts out the last line before it pops up. I don't know how it works exactly, but just check every time you save it, and you should be able to catch it before you put it up on the site. (I plan to do the same)

I got a request for the name of the person that insulted my use of 'Kazama Arashi' so, here it is.

Evaneezer-

I want to burn then torture who ever started the retarded Kazama Arashi myth. 1: It wasn't his FUCKING name! 2: His name was Namikaze Minato. Yes the fourth is Naruto's father, big surprise. But read chapter 367. of the manga it also has his mothers name, Uzumaki Kushina.

Followed by-

You could make Naruto less of a Hinata incarnate, besides he's seen women naked before, when he goes to the hotsprings with ebisu to train he was peaking, then in shippuuden he tries to peek on Sakura, He's read one of the Icha Icha books, and created the oroike no jutsu. Though lots of fan girls won't admit it, he's a pervert. A rather open one.

((Both are listed under the reviews for this story; chapters one and four, respectively))

* * *

Tsunade could barely believe her ears. "Another one… ugh…" She muttered under her breath. "You know, I'm pretty sure _NARUTO _is the person to talk to about marrying him." Tenten's eyes started to tear up, and Tsunade was in no mood to hear her cry. "Neji… you told her about the damn _minimum_ didn't you?" 

"What?" The Hyuuga boy asked, still cleaning out one of his ears with a pinky.

"…did something happen to you?" Tsunade asked.

"I… had the honor of delivering a certain _letter_ to Hinata-sama…" Neji muttered, thinking back on the moment…

_Hiashi had arrived home with a pair of letters signed and sealed by the village council. All Neji heard from the clan head was that they were regarding his daughter's respective marriages, and that he was to deliver the letter he was currently holding to Hinata, while Hiashi took the second letter to Hanabi._

_Neji soon found himself in front of Hinata's door. He could find his way here while asleep if need be, he wound up sent to summon her so often… What she did while holed up in her room all day while she wasn't training, he wasn't even sure he wanted to know… Knocking on the door, Neji stood at attention and stated; "Hinata-sama, are you there?" Of course she was, but he wanted to be somewhat polite, even though Hinata repeatedly told him he didn't need to be._

"_Y-yes, Neji-nii-san… one moment, please." He heard from the other side of the door, along with a frantic ruffling of fabric. "Y-yes?" She asked after finally opening the door._

_From the slightly disheveled look of her hair and nightshirt, plus the way her bedding was haphazardly put back together, added to that by the fact that she seemed slightly winded and… sweaty… she was either sleeping in and had a nightmare of some sort or… Neji blushed slightly as the image popped into his mind. "I… uhm." Neji cleared his throat before continuing. "I am here by order of your father to deliver this…" He said, handing her the letter. "I am told it regards your… marital arrangements…" he added with an almost sad tone._

_Neji could easily see the despair and anxiety in her face. Her legs even looked like they were about to buckle. She was tearing up by the time she could speak. "Th-thank you… N-Neji-nii-san."_

_Neji sighed unnoticeably. "I would suggest you open it before you become… too emotional." He tried his best to keep his 'aloof' and 'uncaring' look up while he said it. It was hard trying to get your point across without showing emotion in a situation like this one…_

_Hinata nodded, and broke the seal on the parchment. After reading it through several times, she was sure she read the name right, each time her eyes flowed over the words 'Uzumaki Naruto' her smile grew and her mood brightened until she felt like she was going to explode._

…_so she did._

…_In the form of the loudest 'fangirl' squeal ever heard in any of the elemental countries. Neji instantly knew why Hiashi wanted to deliver HANABI'S letter personally… _'Emotional support for the youngest sister' my ass!_ He thought, barely catching Hinata as she fainted._

Not long after that, Tenten had come to visit, talking about how she was thinking of asking Naruto to go out with her. Neji relayed what he had overheard at the council meeting, and they soon found themselves on their way to Tsunade's office.

"Ahh…" Tsunade muttered. "I could take a look at your ears later if you'd like…"

"That… would be appreciated Hokage-sama." Neji said, bowing politely.

"So… what makes you think that you can just _marry_ Naruto?" Tsunade asked, turning to Tenten.

"W-well…" Tenten muttered, shrinking away under the piercing gaze of her idol.

"Tenten has informed me of her intentions… if I may speak for her?" Neji asked. At his words, Tenten started nodding fervently.

Tsunade sighed. "Very well…"

"Tenten has learned much about Naruto-sama's Kekkei Genkai from me and Naruto-sama himself…" Neji began. "And she feels that, with her specialty in weapons, the Shinzenbigan's properties and Naruto-sama's persona, he would simply be the best father for her children." As he said this, Tenten flushed red. Neji smirked. "She also seems to have a crush on him…" This earned him a firm punch to the shoulder from his embarrassed teammate.

Tsunade chuckled. "Well, in the end, it's up to Naruto. I can arrange for him to talk to you tomorrow, if you want…"

Tenten nodded. "That would be good."

"I also assume she knows… _everything_… including Naruto's restriction from leaving the village until he has a viable heir…" Both Neji and Tenten were visibly taken aback by this, indicating they knew nothing of it. "In any case, he _should_ be taking care of that about now…" She added, inciting a blush from Tenten and causing Neji's eye to develop a spontaneous twitch.

"You mean he's…" Tenten started.

"Makin' babies. Yup." Tsunade said, nodding her head humorously. "That a problem?"

"N-no…" Tenten said, her blush returning in full force.

"Good. Naruto is supposed to show up here at noon tomorrow. Be here a little before then, and we'll have a little… _chat_ with him." Tsunade said, smirking maliciously.

"Y-yes, Hokage-sama." Tenten bowed before quickly making her way out of the tower.

"Tenten-san is so skittish when it comes to you and Naruto-sama…" Neji muttered. "She admires you greatly."

"I know…" Tsunade sighed, taking another swig of sake. "So, how is Hidamori-chan doing?"

Neji sighed. "I spoke to her earlier today… she says the family has moved up our wedding to whenever Hinata-sama is married…" One more reason he despised the main house; "They… do not wish to _pay_ to set up two weddings."

"So they'll just take what's left over from Naruto and Hinata's wedding and simply re-use what they can for yours? Cheapskates…" An oddly hypocritical insult coming from the 'legendary loser' who always seemed to find herself in debt, but true nonetheless…

"And knowing what the council has agreed upon with the family, we can expect the wedding to be less than a month away." Neji stated.

"Well, I'm sure she'll make you a very happy young man…" Tsunade chimed.

"Hidamori-sama… scares me." Neji said with a slight shudder.

"Well first, you're _marrying _her. You can start calling her 'chan' y'know." Tsunade chuckled. "And second, if you actually spent some time with her, maybe she wouldn't be so scary. Even if you've got _reason_ to be scared of her, I'm sure you could soften her up after a while… Ask her out on a _date_ or something!"

Neji nodded. "I… think I might try that."

"You'd better. Marrying a girl you've never even been out on a date with? Shameful…" She muttered, smirking.

"Heh… I'll pass that on to Naruto-sama." Neji said as he started making his way towards the doors.

"Hold up…" Tsunade said, catching the boy by his shoulder and glaring into his ear. "…how can you HEAR!?"

"I… can't. I read lips fairly well, however." Neji replied.

---

Naruto swiftly arrived back at his apartment, to find a peculiar sight upon opening the door… Tayuya and Shizune talking almost like friends. Tayuya was chuckling madly while Shizune's face flushed red. "What're you two talking about?" Naruto asked.

"Your _ass…_" Tayuya blurted. Naruto jumped back slightly, glancing over to Shizune, whose face deepened to a darker shade of crimson under his gaze. "…and… _other_ parts."

"Sh-Shizune-nee-chan!?" Naruto yelled, "I don't get why you're here! What's going on!? Why were you talking about my…" He blushed as he thought about it. "Grah! _What do you WANT from me!?_" He yelled, clutching his aching skull.

Tayuya and Shizune glanced at each other before the redhead pointed to her black-haired counterpart. "Fuck her." Tayuya stated bluntly.

Naruto stood, glancing from Tayuya to Shizune, his blush steadily darkening. After a moment, his eye started twitching, and then a trail of red began to drip from his nose. Tayuya barely caught the boy as he fainted. "Is… is Naruto-kun okay?" Shizune asked.

The redhead looked down at the boy, wiping the blood away. "…He's fine."

---

Hyuuga Hinata was dancing on air. Flitting through the halls with the letter she'd received from the council clutched tightly to her chest. She just had to find someone; _anyone_ to talk to so she could shout to the world that she was marrying the boy she loved.

Unfortunately, the first person she happened upon was an unusually downtrodden Hanabi. "Hanabi-chan!" Hinata yelled, forgoing formalities in her euphoria. "You won't believe it! It's so wonderful and… is something wrong?"

Hanabi looked up at her older sister for a moment before sighing and shaking her head. "Father… informed me of an arrangement he made with the council." This peaked Hinata's interest. "As an heir to the purest of Hyuuga lines, the council has… seen fit to bind me to a boy to breed his Kekkei Genkai."

Hinata froze. It wasn't possible, was it? There was no way Hanabi was marrying Naruto… _I'M marrying him!_ "You mean…"

"Then again… it doesn't seem so bad. Naruto-san is rather cute…" Hanabi said, a light blush on her cheeks. "…for a boy, I mean."

"B-but…" Hinata muttered, her face pale with shock and horror. "I'm m-marrying N-Naruto-kun…"

Hanabi sighed again. "So they got you too, huh?" Hinata gave her a questioning glance. "Father told me everything. I'm surprised he hasn't talked to you already. Naruto-san's Doujutsu, mixed with ours, makes the Sharingan." Hinata gasped. "Yeah, I know. That's why we're marrying him…"

"T-t-t-to b-bear N-Naruto-kun's ch-children?" Hinata sputtered, the though making both her and her sister flush red.

"Y… yeah." Hanabi answered, glancing away from her sister to try and hide her blush.

"Hinata-chaaaan!" Hinata turned to see several men, some old, but the one who'd spoken looked a few years too young to be called 'middle-aged'. Hiashi stood in the center of the group, glaring at the man in front of him. "My colleagues and I would like to take a moment of your time to talk to you…"

Hinata nodded… one of the worst mistakes of her life.

---

Naruto rose groggily from his bed, to the unfamiliar scent of tea… He didn't even know he HAD tea… "Tayu…chan?" He asked, rubbing his somewhat aching skull.

He was greeted not by the familiar red haired girl entering the room, but rather a warmly smiling Shizune holding a tray with tea. "Naruto-kun, are you feeling better?" She asked.

"Y-yes…" Naruto said, blushing as he wondered whether or not what he was remembering really happened. "So… I… uhhm…"

"You two going to fuck anytime soon?" Tayuya asked from the door. "You know, I've got places to be, but I can't go without _Naruto _to keep the fucking bastards in this shithole from figuring out who I am and trying to fucking _kill _me…"

Naruto blushed again. "Uhhm… so… what's all this…?" He started to ask, cut off by Shizune.

"I… I'm just so happy…" Shizune muttered as she began to tear up. "That I can finally have children of my own, and that I can help you by having them…" She moved the tray so that it was no longer between them, taking hold of his shoulders and pulling him into a soft embrace. "I… th-thank you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto awkwardly returned her hug, trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about when he realized just what he must've sounded like as he told Tsunade and her about Ayame… "Eheh.. how did you figure out I was talking about you?" He asked, an indisputably fake smile plastered over his features, but no-one seemed to be able to see through them so far… Tayuya just stood in the corner and scowled.

The redhead stalked out of the room, shutting the door behind her as Shizune released Naruto. "I just knew…" She answered, smiling.

"S-so… uhhm…" Naruto muttered, his face flushed red. "What do I do now?"

"Well, first you take your clothes off…" Shizune chuckled as she began to undo her yukata.

Naruto's face was completely crimson as he saw Shizune, in nothing but a pair of panties. "I… uhh… wow…"

"Here, let me help you…" She said, taking hold of the latch of his pants. Naruto wanted to struggle free, but knew it wouldn't do any good. Shizune was Tsunade's apprentice… as far as he knew, she could be just as scary as her teacher… "There we go…" She muttered as she finished pulling his shirt over his head. And thus the two sat there for a moment on Naruto's bed… in nothing but their underwear.

"I… uhh… th-think I know what to d-do now… b-but…. Why don't you start?" Naruto sputtered.

"Nervous about your first sexual experience?" Shizune asked, eliciting a nod from the boy. "I was too, don't worry, it's normal." She added, reaching out for his hand and pulling it to her breast.

"Sh-Shizune-chan!?"

"Baby steps, eh Naruto-kun?" Shizune smiled, blushing. She was obviously just as nervous as Naruto, even if she was a bit more forward.

"E… yeah." Naruto muttered. Her hands returned to his shoulders, but Naruto's hand remained on her chest, giving it a tentative squeeze. She blushed brighter, but nodded for him to continue. At this, he began to inch forward; when he'd closed half the distance between them, his other hand found her chest as well, and he felt her slowly pulling him towards her. After what seemed like an eternity, their lips met, sending a pleasant shudder down Naruto's spine.

Naruto spent the next half hour familiarizing himself with Shizune's body, doing so as innocently as he could. He couldn't stop himself, however, after the way she'd responded so positively to him kneading her breasts, or his tongue combating with hers… after the first few moments, Naruto had let one hand leave her chest to explore the remainder of her body, mainly her back and stomach; ending behind her neck, deepening their kiss.

"Shizune-chan?" Naruto asked, pulling away and giving the older woman a quizzical look.

"Don't worry…" Shizune said, nodding towards the boy's lower regions as she pushed off her undergarments, giving Naruto the idea that he was supposed to do the same. "I've got _some_ experience in this stuff…" When both were completely nude, Shizune was lying down on Naruto's bed, while he sat back on his haunches at her feet.

"You do?" Naruto asked, taking in the magnificent beauty that was her fully nude form.

Shizune giggled. "Well, it's good to know you like what you see…" She chuckled, causing Naruto to immediately cover his manhood, blushing profusely. "Oh, don't be embarrassed… I've seen worse from men twice your age…"

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, and he slowly let his arms fall to his sides. "Y-you have?" She nodded in response to his question, motioning for him to come closer. "Shizune-chan?" He asked as he held himself suspended over her.

"Okay now, nice and slow your first time, ne?" She asked, guiding him down with her gentle touch. When she finally pulled him into herself, she added; "Now push, Naruto-kun."

As he thrust himself into her, he could've sworn he saw her wince slightly, but he shrugged it off. _She couldn't possibly have been a virgin…_ "Shizune-chan? What now?"

The older woman was breathing heavily, and in a husky, eager voice replied; "In and out, Naruto-kun… In and out…"

---

Neji swallowed hard as he approached the door leading to the bedroom of his future wife. He'd waited until nearly sunset to speak with her because honestly, he couldn't work up the nerve to do so earlier. There was no founding for his uncharacteristic lack of confidence and arrogance when it came to asking Hidamori to go out with him… he'd even picked the perfect thing to do that day; a walk through the park, followed by watching the sunset on a hill that his team often trained near. And thus the entire reason he needed to ask her to go now was to make it to the hill before the sun had set.

He knew there was no reason to be nervous…

A: She was not only engaged, but _twelve_… he wouldn't be walking in on anything like an affair when he knocked on the door.

B: This was the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with whether he wanted to or not. Nothing he said or did around her would change that.

C: He was scared of her. One false move and she could try anything. Then again, no matter how much she seemed to remind him of cold, heartless Hanabi, she was Branch House just like him… so she couldn't possibly use his curse seal…

D: He didn't care what she thought about him. He's never liked her… really, he never has. …right?

It all made _perfect _sense. He simply couldn't figure out how just yet… He took a deep breath, and knocked on the wall next to the sliding rice-paper door that led to her room. Much like his and all other Branch Family bedrooms, they weren't given as much right to privacy as Main Branch, nor did they have the safety of a wooden door… he could simply rip his way into her room if he wanted.

After a moment, she slid the door open, and stared him coldly in the eyes. "What do _you_ want?" She asked as she folded her arms over her chest.

He had to admit, for all her personality flaws, her physique was flawless. In her slightly baggy Branch Family maid robes, her figure was hidden perfectly, although you could tell it was just barely so. Her eyes were fierce and determined, much like his own, and a slightly lighter shade of lavender than was normal for the Byakugan. He only knew of three people that had noticed this about her eyes; himself and her parents. Her cheeks were slender and her mouth was slight and cute, especially with the small amount of lipstick she usually wore. Her blue-black hair was always tied back in a neat ponytail that grew ragged near where it ended midway down her back, giving her an almost feral quality while also showing her ear piercings to the world; two in her left ear and one in her right. The first pair of piercings were ordinary enough, simple dark-blue crystal studs in each ear. Neji had always admired that she'd been defiant enough to get a second piercing in her left ear just above the first, which always held a thin silver ring. When he saw all of this, he realized just how little he knew about her…

Bowing slightly, he answered; "Hidamori-chan, I would like to request your acquaintance this evening…" He mentally slapped himself for that… too formal. He smirked as he thought of the most informal person he knew… _what the hell?_ He chuckled in his mind. Rising from his bow, he reached his right arm back to scratch his neck as he'd seen the goofy blonde do countless times, and glanced over her shoulder and into her room. What he saw made him smirk. "Would you go out with me?" He asked casually.

He barely caught the smirk on her lips before she hid it under a scowl. "We're going to be married to one another… a date seems like a pointless and unorthodox waste of time, wouldn't you agree?"

Neji gave the most sincere smile he could, which wasn't much more than a smirk, and said; "A friend of mine once taught me that you can't always go by tradition alone if you want to live life for yourself…"

She smiled warmly at his reply. "Just what I wanted to hear… wait there for a moment while I change into something more appropriate for an outing…" She said, sliding the door shut behind her. Neji simply sighed as he leaned his back against the wall and let himself slide into a slouch, chuckling merrily.

Hidamori undid her robes, taking them off in a single motion before scooping up her yukata and glancing around her room. Everything just seemed… brighter. She had her futon, her closet, the window with the small potted flowers, and the picture of her parents on the wall along with her desk and chair. As she slid her clothing over her lithe frame, she glanced down at her desk. More importantly, the framed photograph of her husband-to-be that she kept there…

She smiled once more before tying off her sash and sliding the door open. "Let's go, then…" She chimed. "Any idea what we're actually going to _do_?"

As Neji stood, he answered simply; "Talk and watch the setting sun together… like a couple should."

She smiled broadly and took his arm. "I see there's hope for you yet, husband…"

---

Neji was surprised how many items of common interest he could find between himself and his cousin. Both he and Hidamori _despised_ pointless chatter, had similar interests in food, and felt very strongly about the oppression of the Branch Family. What surprised Neji, however was that despite having gone over the basic Jyuuken forms, she had otherwise received next to no ninja training whatsoever; her entire worth to the clan having simply been her position as a maid. At this, Neji decided he would find a way to get her out of cleaning duty for a while, probably by asking Hinata, so that Hidamori could train with Team Gai, to which she heartily agreed. One thing Neji found slightly unsettling were all the odd looks Hidamori was receiving because of her Caged Bird Seal. She explained it as a simple matter of not having anything to cover it with, which he responded to by buying her a fine linen headband, deep navy blue to blend into her hair.

"You know… you really didn't need to buy me anything…" She muttered as they made their way up the hill.

"You were more uncomfortable than I was with all the looks… so yes, I had to." He thought for a moment. "I _wanted_ to."

She nuzzled further into his arm, leaning against him as she walked. "We're here, right?"

"Yeah…" Neji replied, sitting down on the grass as the sun began to dip over the horizon.

"It's pretty…" Hidamori muttered, following him onto the grass and wrapping her arms around him. He in turn, placed an arm around her waist and pulled her as close to him as he could.

Once the sun had set, and the colors on the clouds began to fade, Neji yawned and leaned back into the grass. Hidamori, however, turned and laid herself down atop him, snuggling into his chest for warmth as night began to set in. "You know…" She started, glancing up at his face to see his reactions. "I don't think I'll mind being stuck with you for the rest of my life…"

Neji chuckled in response. "I don't think I'll mind either."

"Just remember to take me out on _lots_ of dates before we're married…"

"I will." Neji said. After a few moments staring at the stars, he decided it would be best to head home for the night. "Hidamori-chan?" looking down, he saw the girl in question sound asleep. _Oh well, at least she's warm… _He thought, wrapping his arms around her to try and keep her warm before drifting off to sleep himself.

---

After several hours, Shizune was thoroughly exhausted… "Naruto-kun…" She panted. "I'm tired…"

Naruto had been resting at the moment as well, and pulled himself up for a moment to look down at her. "Awww… okay…" He said, lowering himself back onto her and nuzzling into her chest. "We can go ahead and sleep for a while…"

_For a while…_ Shizune mused before she drifted off to sleep with her young lover safely nestled in her arms.

* * *

Hmm… people seem to be getting after me for what I put up in the last chapter. Ehh, no matter… I never said I was sure I was right about that stuff. I just thought it was interesting. What I really needed from that research was whether or not the council would believe that having Hinata and Naruto… _sexually active_ together at her age could result in an Uchiha anytime soon. I have no doubts that the heartless bastards would care how old she is, if it means they'd get an extra few years of tries to rebuild the damned clan. 

'Hidamori' means 'Exposure to Sunlight'. For all those who thought I named her after Hinamori Momo from Bleach and misspelled her name… no, I didn't. (Actually, if anything she's based on an old ex-girlfriend of mine)


	8. Fortunate Fate

YAY! NARUTO GOT LAIDED!!!

And with _Shizune_ no less…

I'm sad (Pshh, _not_) to report that the five girls from the harem have already been decided and Shizune is _NOT_ counted among them. Simply because I consider the 'harem' to be girls legally bound to the man (IE, _married_) Shizune is also the only person from her general age group that sleeps with him.

There will be some obvious options left out, but I believe it's for the best plot-wise. (Like Sakura. Naruto _HATES _her now… so how would they hook up? Don't answer that. Rhetorical question) Just so you know, there are a grand total of FIVE girls that Naruto DOES marry, and seven that he has kids with. If anyone can guess who they all are before all seven are revealed after the timeskip… you can name your prize. XP

(No guarantee I'll actually go along with said prize, though. Keep it realistic, people)

Also, I'd like to inform people now that what you saw last chapter is probably the closest thing you'll see in my fics to a full lemon. (And no, that was NOT a full lemon. FULL lemons describe _everything_ from _start to finish _in _EXCRUTIATING _detail)

Without further ado; COMMENCE WITH T3H PR0N!!! – (not really)

* * *

Neji awoke at dawn, dew completely covering both him and the girl he was still laying under. "Hidamori-chan…? Wake up." He muttered, jostling her slightly to rouse her from her slumber.

"Nnn… Neji?" She asked as she pushed herself off of him, hanging over the boy with a broad grin as she looked into his eyes. "You know…" She added, dipping herself down and pecking her lips to his. "That was our first night together…"

Neji's cheeks tinged pink as he pulled himself out from under her. "I… erm… yes, it was." He replied.

"Last night was fun…" She muttered. "I… don't mind if you want to sleep with me again." Before he could get any ideas, she quickly added; "Just as long as you know I'm not letting anything _intimate_ happen until we're married."

Neji chuckled. "Fair enough…"

---

When the pair had finally returned home from their night in the training grounds, they decided it'd be best to clean up a bit before trying to talk Hinata or Hiashi into letting Hidamori have the day off. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be going as planned these days… "N-Neji-nii-san?"

Neji spun on his heel to face his eldest cousin. "Hinata-sama! I… wasn't expecting to see you… here."

Even Hinata could tell there was something wrong with this… _wait a second… ruffled hair, a bit sweaty, disheveled clothes… they're even a little muddy and have grass stains! _"A… oh Kami… you two…" Hinata mumbled, causing the pair to glance at each other in confusion. "You slept with her!?"

Neji and Hidamori both blushed at Hinata's outburst. Neji was about to deny everything before Hidamori spoke up. "So what if we did?"

Hinata flushed red, twiddling her fingers in embarrassment. "I… I-I-I…"

"_OUT _with it, girl!" Hidamori blurted. Apparently, she wasn't used to talking to Main Branch Hyuuga…

"I need advice!" Hinata snapped. The pair she was addressing felt their cheeks faintly redden. "I… n-need help… wi-with… _that_…" she mumbled, poking her fingers together and hoping they understood.

Neji's cheeks grew crimson. "Hinata-sama! You shouldn't be thinking about _that_ at your age!" When Hinata gave him a confused glance, he sighed. "I'm sure Naruto-sama is a wonderful… _boyfriend_… but you cannot let yourself be dragged into situations that you feel uncomfortable with. Choose the pace your relationship progresses _yourself_. If Naruto-sama doesn't like it, then I will be forced to reassess my opinion of him…"

"E-yes, Neji-nii-san…" Hinata replied with a curt bow before scurrying away.

"Sooo… let the girl decide, eh?" Hidamori chimed.

"Y-yes?" Neji responded. "That is how things are done… right?"

"Not always…" She started walking back toward her room. "But, I guess you can have a _little_ fun for thinking so…" Hidamori sang seductively as she rounded a corner in the halls.

Neji blushed a deep crimson as he skittered along after her.

---

Naruto yawned and stretched as the sun bled through the window. He immediately wondered why his bed was quite a bit _softer_ than usual, finding a naked woman under him. "SHI-zu…ne? Oh, right…" He remembered the happenings of the night prior, letting out an oddly lecherous giggle as he reached out with both hands and began massaging her chest. "Ohh Shizuuune-chaaaan…" He cooed.

The older woman moaned in her sleep before seemingly realizing what was going on and shooting up, nearly knocking the blonde to the floor. "N-Naruto-kun!? I… so we really…"

"You were my first, Shizune-chan…" Naruto said solemnly "That means a lot to me, and well… thank you."

"Y-you…" Shizune muttered, catching his attention. "You were my first, too… Naruto-kun."

"Y-_you really WERE a virgin!?_" He cried. "I… I thought _maybe _when you acted a bit weird at first… but…"

Shizune put two fingers to his mouth, silencing him. "Do you remember what you promised me when we woke up?"

Naruto gave off a lecherous grin. "Okay, Shizune-chan…" He muttered before re-inserting himself into her.

---

Hinata let out a dejected sigh as she walked aimlessly through the halls of the Hyuuga compound. She seemed vaguely familiar with the place she was at, but in her state, couldn't tell 'North' or 'West' from down or up…

Thus her surprise when she found herself dragged into a room off to the side. "Nee-san…"Hanabi muttered.

Hinata found herself in Hanabi's room. _Huh… so that's why it seemed like a familiar hallway…_ "What is it, Hanabi-chan?"

"I… I'm going to be sleeping with the same man as you." Hanabi said suddenly, both sisters flushing at the words.

It was meant as a question, but said like a statement… "Y-yes… you are." Hinata answered. She'd thought about it quite a bit since she'd heard, and now she knew her sister had as well… It was rather unsettling to know that the man you intended to let inside you would probably spend just as much of his time in your sister…

"This is going to be an… _awkward_ marriage, isn't it, sister?" Hanabi asked, looking down at her hands.

"Yes… if we let it." Hinata answered. Hanabi looked confused for a moment before Hinata continued, both sitting down on Hanabi's futon to make talking at least a _little _easier… "If we get used to the idea and comfortable with each other, then you and I should be able to live like most other married women…"

"C-comfortable, nee-san?" Hanabi asked. At her sister's nod, the younger girl began inching towards a confused Hinata until their lips met in a chaste kiss.

For some reason, Hinata couldn't bring herself to move before Hanabi kissed her, but afterwards she sputtered backwards in utter confusion. "H-Hanabi-chan!? Wh-what are you d-doing!?"

"I…" Hanabi muttered, looking thoroughly trounced. "I just thought that maybe we'd be more comfortable…" Tears began to form in her eyes, and she started to sniffle.

"H-Hanabi-chan… do you… d-do you _like _me?" Hinata asked, returning to a more natural sitting position.

Hanabi nodded slowly, trying to think of something to say. "I… I'm the stronger sister, Nee-chan…" She reached out and took Hinata's hand as she looked up at her with tear-filled eyes that shown with an abundance of joy and love. "Why shouldn't I want to protect my Onee-chan?"

Hinata sighed, and smiled. She knew it'd be hard, but she had to say it… "Hanabi-chan… I-I love you… b-but you're m-my s-sister… nothing more."

Hanabi smiled as well, letting her tears flow freely down her cheeks. "I like Naruto-kun, too…" Hinata's eyes widened slightly. "You like him more, though." She leaned forward and locked her sad eyes on her sister's. "I was wondering if… if you wanted to practice… for Naruto-kun."

Hinata smiled, nodding. _What could it hurt?_ Leaning closer to Hanabi, she outstretched her arms until they met in a soft, sisterly embrace, their lips pressed together in an innocent kiss.

---

Naruto and Shizune were taking another break, simply cuddling until Shizune said she was ready again, before she shot up as far as she could with Naruto's weight on her chest. "Naruto-kun, don't you have a meeting with Tsunade-sama today!?"

"Oh _shit_!" Naruto yelled, jumping out of bed and pulling on his boxers before dashing out of the room. Shizune followed close behind, wrapping herself in Naruto's bed sheets. "Oh… uhm, hi Tayu-chan…"

Truth be told, Tayuya looked surprisingly like _another_ red-head Naruto knew. She obviously hadn't slept since yesterday. "Tayuya-san…" Shizune said, bowing half out of respect, but more to try and hide the fact that her face was beet red for having anyone but Naruto see her in her current state.

"I was up… all _fucking_ night." Tayuya muttered. "You two were so fucking loud… I had to fend off three fucking pricks that came to tell you to quiet the fuck down. One was the fucking _landlord_."

Naruto's eyes shot wide. "B-but… it's just me and the crazy cat lady living here…"

"Then they were from _OTHER_ buildings." Tayuya snapped. "Anyway, it's like, one in the afternoon. You're late already…"

"FUCK!!!" Naruto screamed, clambering around trying to get himself ready to leave.

"_SO _that means…" Tayuya yelled, catching his attention. "…That you can take your time. You're already late, what's an extra goddamned hour for a fucking _shower_ and breakfast, huh?" Tayuya got up off her seat at on the couch, letting the blanket she'd been curled up in slide down onto the floor as she stumbled over to the boy and took a long drag of air when she propped herself up against him, fearing for her balance if she had to stand still on her own. "Besides, you smell like you just fucked every girl in a brothel."

Shizune blushed, backing away slowly. "I'll just…"

"You're going to help clean him up." Tayuya muttered angrily. "You go in there, shower _with_ him, and clean him the _fuck_ up because I know he'd probably rush and do fucking half-assed job at best if we let him go alone."

"What about you?" Shizune asked as Naruto started off towards the bathroom to start the water.

"I'm going to _make_ the fucking breakfast that we're going to eat when you two get out of the fucking _shower_." She responded, picking up her heavily caffeine-laden tea from the table and downing what remained. When Shizune turned to join Naruto, however, she was stopped when Tayuya spoke again; "So… was he good?"

Shizune turned back to the girl and smiled. "Would I have been that loud if he wasn't?"

Tayuya chuckled, shaking her head as the two went their separate ways.

---

About an hour later, Naruto and Shizune came out of the bathroom, each wrapped in a towel as they made their way to gather up clothes for the day. Shizune wore what she'd arrived in, as it was still rather clean, and Naruto put on a fresh set of everything.

"What the fuck took you two so long? You guys fuck in the _shower_ too?" Tayuya asked, and at their simultaneous blush, groaned. "You _DID_ didn't you!?"

They both nodded. "Sorry, Tayu-chan…" Naruto muttered as he made his way to the table, Shizune following behind him.

"Don't worry about it… I'd've fucked you too if we showered together." Tayuya always found it fun to make the blonde boy blush…

After their breakfast of bacon, toast and ramen, Naruto and Shizune made their way to the Hokage tower. Tayuya stayed behind, passing out as soon as she got to the bed. She honestly didn't care if it still had a giant wet-spot…

---

When they finally arrived, they were surprised to find Tenten in the office alongside Tsunade. "Do you two have _ANY _idea how late you are!?" Tsunade bellowed.

"Sorry, Tsunade-baa-chan… we got a little… sidetracked…" Naruto muttered, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

Tsunade waved him off, smiling. "So, Shizune-chan… was he good?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that!?" Shizune snapped; her face now a vibrant crimson.

"Wait…" Tenten muttered. "So, _she's_ the one Naruto…?"

"Yes." Tsunade replied. "Shizune, you're fairly certain it'll take, aren't you?"

"We'll know in a few days, Tsunade-sama…" Shizune mumbled. "I used _those _jutsu…"

"What're you talking about?" Naruto asked.

"Medical Ninjutsu used to increase the chance of pregnancy… I won't bore you with details." Tsunade answered.

"I might need to learn those too…" Tenten muttered under her breath.

"Don't worry, me or Shizune can use them on you, if you decide you want us to." Tsunade muttered to the girl before turning back to Naruto. "Now, there's something Tenten-chan here wants to ask you, Naruto-kun…"

Naruto nodded, more than slightly confused as Tenten walked up to him, bowing as she spoke. "Naruto-kun… please take me as your wife."

Naruto jumped back a good five feet from the girl in shock. "What!? Why the hell would you want to marry ME!?"

Before Tenten could answer, Tsunade spoke up. "She has her reasons, Naruto. Now, do you want to marry Tenten or not?"

Naruto didn't know what to say… so he took Tenten's hand in his own, raising her from her bow. "Tenten, do you _really _want to marry me?"

"I…" Tenten started, glancing down at his hands cupped around hers. "I know that, someday, you're going to be a great father, Naruto-kun… probably the best ever." She smiled, halving the distance between them as she took a step. "I want that for _my_ children. I can't imagine anyone being better for the job than you…"

Naruto sighed. "So, what's that bring the count up to now, Obaa-chan?"

"Four. Tayuya, Tenten, Hinata and Hanabi." The elder woman replied.

"And you're _still _not going to tell me what that damned minimum is, are you?"

"You'll find out soon enough, Naruto." Tsunade stood up and walked around her desk. "Shizune, Tenten… if you could give us a little privacy?"

---

_Find Jiraiya and give him this letter… BAH! _Naruto scoffed, going over his mission details once more. After being briefed on his mission and having a little 'talk' with Tsunade about fatherhood, she sent him on his way. As he hopped from one rooftop toward the only major onsen in Konoha, his mind drifted to the latter half of their talk. _Hinata…_

Naruto barely registered that he'd made it to his destination as he leapt over the walls of the women's bath, landing on the other side of the building next to a perverted old man. "Naruto… you're just lucky none of them saw you do that…" Jiraiya muttered.

"Yeah, so? It would've just led them to you, anyway." Naruto scowled. "Tsunade-baa-chan told me to give you this… now, if you'll excuse me…" The blonde boy jumped up once more, this time pushing off the wall Jiraiya was hiding behind, activating his Shinzenbigan as he twisted in midair and sent a barrage of shuriken flying into the supports holding the wall up, causing it to fall inward. ((If you didn't figure it, it's a wooden wall. Hit they key planks of wood, and it falls over))

"Naruto must be having a bad day…" Jiraiya muttered as he was overrun by angry women.

---

Hyuuga Neji was very… confused.

He didn't like being confused, but in all honesty, the past hours had been little more than a blur to him… All he was certain of was that he was currently in his fiancé's room, laying on her futon while she snuggled herself into his chest. "Hidamori-chan?" Neji asked. "What just happened?"

The girl gave him a lazy glare laced with agitation. "What do you _think _just happened?"

"Lots of… kissing?" Neji asked.

"It's called 'making out'… get used to it." She replied, smirking maliciously.

_I don't think I'll have ANY problems with that…_Neji mused, glancing at a small clock on her desk that he hadn't seen earlier. "We should probably check on Hinata-sama… honestly, she's lost without constant reminders of what she'd planned to do for the day." Neji chuckled.

"Why is that?" Hidamori asked, pushing herself up to get a better look at her soon-to-be husband.

Neji smiled up at her. "She always loses focus… she just stares into space. Daydreaming, I think."

Hidamori leaned down and pecked her lips to Neji's. "Sounds like she's in love, wouldn't you agree?"

Neji thought for a moment. "That explains the shriek she let out when she found out she was marrying Naruto-sama…"

Hidamori nuzzled her cheek into his neck. "You know, you're not nearly as heartless as I thought you were… I'm glad."

Neji thought back to his conversation with the Hokage. "She was right…" He chuckled. "We really are good for each other."

"Hmm? What're you talking about?" She asked.

"Nothing… let's go."

---

Neji couldn't find Hinata anywhere… He'd checked her room, the gardens, the onsen, the kitchen… _everywhere_… He'd ask Hiashi if he'd seen her, but he's _Hiashi_… you don't ask such menial things of him. So, he decided to ask Hanabi. Unfortunately, Hidamori got there first.

Tossing the door open, she poked her head inside and cheered; "Hanabi-sama! You in here?"

Of course, what they saw was rather shocking… both sisters were here, in a state that reminded them of themselves not too long ago. Hanabi was lying atop her sister, nestled in her bosom quite thoroughly asleep. If the sisters hadn't been fully clothed, the implications would've been dire.

At present, they were merely 'disturbing'… "Hinata-sama? What… are you doing with Hanabi-sama?" Neji asked.

"N-Neji-nii-san… I… I-I was…" Hinata tried to stutter out, jostling Hanabi awake in the process.

Hanabi, blissfully unaware that there were guests in the room, proceeded to pull herself up and press her lips to Hinata's.

"H-Hanabi-sama!?" Neji yelled in shock.

The young girl immediately turned toward the door, where she saw two people who'd just discovered her 'secret affair' with her sister. In all truth, she handled it quite eloquently… "RHEEEH!?" Immediately Hinata clamped her hand over the young girls mouth, and sent a glare at Neji and Hidamori.

"G-get… In h-here…" She said in her most fearsome voice… the effect completely ruined by her stutter.

Neji led the way into the room, followed by Hidamori, who closed the door. "Hinata-sama… please explain why you are here with Hanabi-sama…" Neji repeated.

"Could it be that we've stumbled onto a tryst!?" Hidamori added in an unnervingly cheery tone.

Hinata could feel her face heat up as she looked down at her sister, who looked up at her and blinked. Hinata took this as a sign that the younger girl knew to be quiet, and let her hands return to her sides, making certain both her and Hanabi were in a proper sitting position. "I… d-don't think 't-tryst' is the r-right word…" She glanced at her sister once more. "B-but…"

"Is there something between you and Hanabi-sama?" Neji asked sternly.

Hanabi immediately latched herself onto her sister's midriff, glaring at the older boy. Hinata, in turn, put an arm around the young girl's shoulders. "I-I d-don't n-know…" Hinata answered. "P-p-please! D-don't t-tell f-f-father ab-bout th-this!"

By the way Hinata was stuttering, he could tell that she was clearly stricken by their arrival. Neji sighed. "I see nothing more than two wives of the same man fraternizing with one another… I don't see how parentage would matter here." He mumbled casually. "If I had a problem with it, I'd go to Naruto-sama, not Hiashi-sama."

Taking this as her cue, Hidamori giggled. "Don't worry, Hinata-chan, Hanabi-chan… we'll keep your secret." She winked in a slightly flirtatious manner afterwards in order to seem less threatening. Not to mention downright _cute_…

Hinata sighed in relief as Hanabi smiled and nuzzled her shoulder. "Th-thank you… b-both of you…"

"If the two of you are happy together, then I don't mind at all…" Neji shrugged. "Although I do advise you _lock the door_…"

Then something popped into Hidamori's mind. "Oh! Hinata-chan, I was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off?" She asked. "I wanted to spend it with Neji-kun…"

"I d-don't see why n-not." Hinata mumbled. "Wh-what do you d-do?"

Hidamori sighed. "I'm a maid. A damned _MAID_…" She muttered. "I _hate_ cleaning…"

"I c-can t-try to c-convince father to…" Hinata started.

"Don't worry about it…" Hidamori said, cutting her off. "I've been doing it all my life anyway, and in a few years, I'll get a pretty decent maternity leave…" This thought made Neji blush. "Really, I know how scary your dad can be…"

Hinata lowered her head sadly. "Don't worry…" Neji spoke up. "I will talk to Hiashi-sama. We've been… developing a rapport of sorts. I believe he will listen to me."

Hidamori latched herself onto Neji's arm, beaming. "You will? For me?" She started nuzzling his shoulder. "Thank you Neji-kun…"

"To be honest, Hinata-sama… since I wasn't able to find you anywhere else, I expected you to be at Naruto-sama's home." Neji said. "Of course, I would have needed to inquire as to its location…"

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata snapped. "I forgot! I… I n-need to go!"

Hinata dashed out of the room, leaving Hanabi, Hidamori and Neji in awkward silence.

---

Naruto practically had to drag himself up the stairs to his apartment. He wasn't tired, he wasn't exhausted… he just didn't really want to do much of _anything_ at that point, climbing stairs included. When he finally made it up to his door, he turned the knob and let it swing open, allowing the boy to trudge into the room, locking it behind him. Turning around, his eyes widened as he saw he wasn't alone. "Hinata?"

"G-good evening, Naruto-kun…" She mumbled. "I… I w-was w-wondering…"

"Did you hear about… the letter?" Naruto asked, sitting down beside her on the couch.

Hinata nodded. "We are t-to be w-wed…"

"You don't have to marry me if you don't want to… I can talk to…" He was silenced as she put two fingers to his lips.

"I… I-I… l-l-lo…" Hinata flushed red. This was going to be much harder than she thought.

Naruto sighed. If she couldn't talk, then he'd do the talking for her. "Do you _want_ me to call off the wedding?" She shook her head. "You want to marry me?" She nodded. "You… like me?" He asked, using the only 'L' word he thought she could mean, eliciting another nod.

Hinata took three deep breaths, and unzipped her jacket. Standing up to toss it aside, she began fumbling with her pants, until Naruto's hand eclipsed her own. Glancing up, the boy was shaking his head slowly. "B-b-but…"

"Hinata, did you speak to several men earlier? Men from the village council?" Naruto asked, and a stunned Hinata nodded. "I was afraid of this… They told you to do this, didn't they? Probably told you it was for 'the good of your clan' too, huh?" She nodded.

Naruto sighed. _Just like Obaa-chan said…_

_((Tsunade's office, shortly after Tenten and Shizune left))_

"_Naruto… your mission is simple." Tsunade stated. "You are to take this letter and deliver it to Jiraiya." Before the young blonde's inevitable hissy fit could start, she continued in a tone she used to remind people just who was Hokage. "This is because I don't want to track him down myself, Shizune is busy at the hospital, and it contains sensitive information that I can't trust to anyone but you two."_

_Naruto felt his rage subside, just as was Tsunade's intention. He was about to turn, but something in the way she looked at him kept the boy from moving. "I hate to ask, but what else did you want to talk to me about?"_

_Tsunade looked delightfully surprised. "I can't believe you could actually tell that I had something else to say before I had to call you back…" She smirked. "You're getting better, Naruto."_

_He smirked. "What happened to 'kun'?"_

_Tsunade chuckled. "How does it feel to be a _man_, Naruto?"_

"_WHU-WHAT!?" Naruto snapped, trying to hide his embarrassment within rage._

"_Naruto, as a man, I'm going to be expecting a lot more from you." She said, almost as if she's prepared a speech. "The next time you're in my office, I'm going to be giving you harder missions, a share of my paperwork to help prepare you to handle ALL of it someday, AND…" She paused for dramatic effect, her voice softening significantly as she continued; "I'm going to try to show you the same respect I show all of the other men that walk through those doors."_

"_Obaa-chan?" Naruto asked in confusion._

"_How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Tsunade growled._

"_It doesn't matter…" Naruto muttered. "It doesn't matter if I'm a 'man' or not, how old I get, or what rank I am… you'll always be Tsunade-baa-chan to me."_

_Tsunade sighed. "I guess it can't be helped then, Naruto-kun…"_

"_Hey, what happened to treating me like a man?"_

"_You don't treat me with the respect you should, so why should I?" She countered, smirking._

_Naruto groaned. "You win, Obaa-chan… so, what is it?"_

"_I've gotten… reports… that several of the councilmen are planning a little field trip to the Hyuuga's." Tsunade stated, in full 'mission briefing' mode. "Judging by the information I've received, they're probably planning on trying to convince Hinata-chan to impregnate herself with your child."_

_Naruto jumped back in shock. "What!? Why the hell would they do that!?"_

"_To try to get their precious Uchiha back…" She scoffed. "They know that I'd probably be able to keep Hinata from dying due to complications in childbirth, so they see it as an opportunity to get more children that could possess the Sharingan." Naruto was about to ask why that was bad, but sensing the question, she cut him off. "If Hinata gave birth at her age, her career as a kunoichi would be over."_

_Naruto's features contorted in shock and rage. "How? Why!?"_

_Tsunade sighed. "Simple. Her body isn't _ready_ yet…" She tried to think of an example or analogy… "It'd be like Lee, before I got here." She added, "She'd be able to live a normal civilian life with therapy, but the stresses on her body would be so great that she'd never be able to build herself back up to the point where she'd be able to do anything more than D-Rank missions for the rest of her life."_

_Naruto knew D-Rank missions. They were hell… "No way she'd never be able to recover…"_

"_Naruto…" Tsunade sighed. "Even _adult_ kunoichi are given a mandatory month off-duty after giving birth to build up muscle tissue and re-familiarize themselves with using chakra on a daily basis." She rummaged through her desk and pulled out a folder, dropping it on the mountain of papers. "Records show that they're usually given a good two or three months off, however."_

_Naruto snatched up the folder and read through it. "If they're given that much time off to recover…"_

"_Give her another four or five years, Naruto. By then, she'll be ready, and it'll only take her half a year at most to recover." Tsunade stated, referencing several kunoichi mothers that had complications while giving birth. "Since you have an heir, viable or not, I'll give you authorization to leave the village on the training mission… that should buy your girls a few years, eh?" She smiled at her own ingenuity._

"_But… Shizune-chan might not get pregnant, right?" Tsunade smirked at the boy's use of a familiar honorific with her student's name._

"_Yes, and no…" Tsunade rummaged through her desk again, tossing a small plastic jar to Naruto. "Fill the cup, and we'll just say she's pregnant until we really CAN get her pregnant."_

_Naruto looked at the jar with trepidation, noting that he couldn't even wrap his hand around it… "You… don't really expect me to FILL the cup, right?"_

_Tsunade shrugged. "If you can, do… After you wake up tomorrow, start working on that. I'll send Shizune over to pick it up."_

"_Okay…" Naruto muttered, turning to leave._

"_Naruto…" Tsunade started, halting the boy. "…Talk to Hinata."_

Naruto sat Hinata down next to him, nearly causing her to faint from the short time his hands were on her hips as he pulled her over. "Hinata-chan… I won't sleep with you… not yet." When she gave him a questioning glance, he sighed. "If you get pregnant now, and have a baby, then your life as a kunoichi would be over." Hinata drooped, but didn't seem very surprised. "They already told you that, didn't they?" She nodded. "Then why would you do it?"

"T-t-to b-be with y-you…" She stated, stumbling over the words. Then she turned to face him, closed her eyes, and slowly inched herself toward him.

_Is she trying to kiss me?_ Naruto wondered, mentally shrugging before leaning forward and meeting her lips with his. He felt her arms encircle his midriff, and raised his own to reciprocate, placing one arm behind her back, and holding the base of her neck with the other, pulling her deeper into the kiss.

When Hinata felt Naruto's tongue slide through her lips, she started to panic. _What do I do? What is he thinking!? I like Naruto, but a deep kiss? …well, I am his fiancé… _She mused before letting him in, entwining his tongue with her own.

When he heard her moan, he knew he was doing well, when she moved her hand to his neck, trying to pull him closer, he knew he was doing _damn_ well. And when she started undoing his pants… "Hoy! What'd I say about that?" Naruto snapped, breaking their kiss.

Hinata leaned forward, pressing herself against Naruto as she embraced him. "I… I know, Naruto-kun. I'm s-sorry…"

He knew she had nice curves, since she still hadn't put her jacket back on, but _feeling_ her bust against his chest was nearly too much for the boy. "It's okay, Hinata-chan." He said, pushing them apart, both so he could look her in the eye _and_ to try and halt his arousal. "Listen, it's late, so why don't you stay here tonight?" Hinata's cheeks turned crimson, and she nearly fainted. "I mean, if we're still fully clothed, there's no problem is there?"

Hinata nodded, and Naruto led her to his bedroom. _What is that smell?_ Hinata thought as she sniffed the air past the doorway. Naruto nudged the bed's red-haired occupant awake.

When Tayuya sat up, the bed sheets followed. "Naruto… you sick fuck… you didn't change the sheets." She muttered as she peeled the cloth from her skin and nightshirt. She then took all the sheets on the bed off in one armful, and dropped them just past the doorway. "Now, where are the clean sheets?"

Naruto paled. "I… don't have any."

Tayuya practically glared at the boy. "You _what_?"

"I don't have any more sheets, I've only ever needed that one set…" Naruto held his arms out in a placating gesture. "When it gets dirty, I just wash them and put them right back…"

Tayuya grumbled. "I'm going to go shower… when I get out, there had _better_ be clean coverings on the fucking bed." When she passed Hinata, she grabbed her wrist and started dragging her along. "C'mon bitch, I wanna' talk to you." Hinata waved to Naruto before she turned the corner, and found herself in the bathroom a moment later. "Strip…"

"Wh-_what!?_" Hinata cried.

"We're both girls. Quit yer' fuckin' _bitching_." Tayuya snapped as she removed her nightshirt and panties. "You're Hinata, right?"

Hinata was blindsided by the question, and the redhead's figure. _She has to be twice the woman I am… literally…_ "Y-yes… Hyuuga Hinata."

"Take your fucking clothes off!" shouted Tayuya, pointing at Hinata's pants. "You're marrying Naruto, aren't you?"

Hinata was already fumbling with her pants when she was hit with another question. "I… ehh… one th-thing at a t-time, please…" When the redhead didn't say anything, opting to give the girl a harsh look instead, Hinata continued disrobing. Once she'd removed the last of her undergarments, she bowed. "Thank you… c-continue."

"You're marrying Naruto?" Tayuya asked, now circling the girl, scanning the younger girl's body with her eyes. Hinata nodded. "Nice ass, by the way…" Hinata blushed. "You've got a decent figure… in a few years, you'll be worth Naruto-kun's time…" This earned her a halfhearted glare from the Hyuuga heiress. "So you _do _have some fire in you. I'd've fucking _gutted you myself_ if you didn't." Hinata flinched, but Tayuya just chuckled as she turned the water on. "I like you, Hyuuga. I'll scrub your back, you scrub mine?"

Hinata nodded. "Y-yes, alright."

---

Naruto was slurping down a cup of instant ramen when he heard the water shut off, and was on to a second cup when the door opened. Naruto's jaw dropped when he saw that both girls were wearing simple nightgowns. "I loaned her some of my stuff." Tayuya shrugged.

Naruto wiped away a small bead of red from his nose. "You two look…" Naruto struck a thinking pose. "What's that word for when something's so pretty there's no word for it?" Hinata blushed and Tayuya chuckled.

"Oh, stop it…"Tayuya giggled. Upon seeing his slightly serious expression asked; "Holy fuck you really were asking that, huh?"

Naruto nodded and then sighed. "Oh well… it doesn't matter… here." He handed both of them a cooked cup of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. "I started those when I heard the water shut off… not good to go to bed with an empty stomach, y'know…" He added as he dug into his third cup for the night.

By the time Tayuya and Hinata had finished their cups, Naruto was contemplating whether or not to cook himself a sixth. "Come on, noodle-fucker… bed." Tayuya jeered, grabbing the boy by his wrist and dragging him off. "You too, Hyuuga…"

Tayuya nodded in indifferent approval at Naruto's bed, now covered in a good three layers of blankets as makeshift sheets. "Soo…" Naruto muttered as Tayuya hopped under the top blankets.

"C'mon!" the redhead cheered, reaching out to grab Naruto and dragging him in beside her. "Hyuuga! Bed! Now!" Hinata jumped in on Naruto's other side. "Now, sleep…" She added, cuddling up to her blonde fiancé before drifting away.

Hinata too snuggled into Naruto before falling asleep, leaving only the blonde himself awake… _I could get used to this…_ He thought, wrapping an arm around both girls.

* * *

Ha_HA_! Neji's already whipped. X3

Sisterly lesbonage… what we've got there is your standard case of 'little brother falls in love with older sister' but instead of a kid brother you've got tomboyish Hanabi instead. Not exactly sure if it'll go anywhere, though. (Might depend on the opinion of the readers; a rather rare thing with me. And _yes_, I realize 'lesbonage' isn't a real word, but 'incest' sounded a little… _strong_ for what's really going on)

Also, I tend to sometimes mix up similar names, such as Hinata and Hanabi, or Tayuya and Temari. If I do, please just let me know so I can edit it. (You don't have to be MEAN about it…)

The word 'rapport' infuriates me. It SOUNDS like 'repore' which is what I kept looking up, until I finally asked a friend about it. (Not my Beta, though… he was asleep)

When Hinata thinks Tayuya is 'twice the woman she is' what she means is, while Hinata may be an _early bloomer_, Tayuya is still about twice as developed as Hinata… (The fact that she's two years older is moot, as girls develop at different rates)

Now, I know you don't want to hear this, but I might have to put ORE (This fic) on hold for a while… I'm kinda' stuck in writer's block, as well as trying to work out an OC-baddie that won't pop up for a good ten chapters or so… Still, I might just take a break, or I might start working on another fic again… (Damn, I need to work on SoAS… it's been a while since I've updated that, and I'm only a chapter or two from finishing it! XP)

Just to let you know, the baddie I'm talking about has a long history spanning back possibly to my first fic ever… He's a very complicated character that I think everyone will like (or hate, since he's the villain) … I think 'appreciate' is the word I'm looking for… Anyway, altering the character to fit _this_ fic is complicated, but I think it's necessary, as I honestly have little idea of what to actually DO for the post-_post_ timeskip plot, and he'll give me something to go on.


	9. Misinterpretations

Heeeheheheheee…

(Perverted giggle)

In answer to a question I got in a review, I plan for this fic to be around 20 chapters or so… if I can keep the ideas coming, then it'll be more. (I'm estimating three to five chapters for post-timeskip, and at least 5 for post-_post_-timeskip)

So far, no one's guessed all seven… I've seen a lot of people get six, but that last one's just out of reach… I'm going to give tips and help narrow things down a bit this chapter and next chapter, since next chapter should be the last one before the timeskip. Now, as I've stated in _one_ of my fics (not sure if it was this one…) I've never even _seen_ the anime filler arcs, nor _any_ episodes of Shippuden, and have only read up through the 'Rescue Gaara' arc in the manga… I have no idea who half the choices you've all been talking about are.

I would _ALSO_ like to point out that while all correct guesses will be praised, only the FIRST correct guess will get the 'prize', which can be anything within my power as a fic writer. (A oneshot, an omake, hell, a short 3-4 chapter fic, or I might Beta your stuff if that's what you want…)

I'm sorry that so many of you don't like the Hinata/Hanabi stuff… but it stays. I'll try to cut back on it of course, but in all reality, it's part of the plot now. (My 'evolving plot' writing system already having incorporated it into the plot; removing it now would significantly alter pre-planned character structures) I might be able to cut it back down to two or three more times that it comes up.

* * *

Jiraiya woke the next day staring into the largest pair of breasts he'd ever seen. Unfortunately, the largest breasts he'd ever seen belonged to… "Tsunade…?" 

The Hokage took pride in her daily rounds through the hospital. She liked caring for others, even if she wouldn't admit it, but there was a certain old pervert that always jumped every nerve she had to stomp on the last one. "Jiraiya… why are you staring at my chest?" She asked as she stood next to his bed. She'd been checking his IV, making sure he had enough blood left to keep him alive, and little enough to do only that.

"You have a wonderful chest, how can I help but admire it?" Jiraiya slurred.

Tsunade decided to let it slide this once, as it was probably the blood-loss talking… "Did you get the letter?"

"The… oh… Naruto gave me a letter before he…" Jiraiya grumbled, remembering the incident that put him there in the first place. "Remind me to hurt the boy…" When Tsunade glared at him, he added; "I never got to look at the damn letter."

Tsunade sighed. "Okay, just give it back to Naruto and tell _him_ to open it…" Jiraiya looked a little confused. "All that was in there for you was a note saying that you're _going_ to take Naruto on that training trip. You leave tomorrow morning."

"Does he know that?" Jiraiya asked, opting to use his hospital time to edit his notes.

"I already sent Shizune to his place… I told her to let him know if he doesn't already."

--- ((several hours earlier))

Naruto stretched, wondering why his chest felt so heavy. Looking down, he saw that both girls found his chest more comfortable than the pillow… "Hoy… wake up." He nudged both girls.

"Naruto-kun? WAGH!" Hinata shot out of the bed, bowing before running off to gather her clothes, yelling; "I should be getting home soon, goodbye, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto blinked. _She didn't stutter once…_ Noticing a familiar squirming on his chest, he watched as Tayuya crawled on top of him.

"Naruto-kun… since I couldn't be your first, I was devastated…" She said, slowly cutting his shirt open with a kunai… Naruto didn't even _want_ to know where she got it… "And after seeing the competition… I'll be _damned_ if I'm not your second…" For some reason, this made Naruto swallow… hard.

---

Hidamori was humming as she skipped through the halls. Neji left when he woke up to talk to Hiashi, leaving her alone in his room… to look through his stuff. After doing so, she went to breakfast, which was little more than slop compared to the rice the Main Branch ate… Honestly, who the hell likes _oatmeal_? At least she got some toast and eggs today. Apparently, being the fiancé of the Clan Head's favorite nephew had perks… that or she got there first today, she didn't really care.

When she arrived at the door to Hiashi's office, however… the sight of Neji leaning against the door, looking thoroughly defeated, made even her feel depressed. "What's wrong, Neji?"

He sighed. "Hiashi-sama says you can have any maid job you want… scullery maid, house maid, cleaning the bathrooms or the women's onsen… but since you don't have training in anything _but_ cleaning, he won't let you try another job." Neji said, turning to look at her. When he saw the befuddled look on her features, he explained. "If you can prove you'd be good at another job, then he'll let you do it. If you show him you can cook, then you can work in the kitchen. If you show him that you're a decent gardener, he might let you be a groundskeeper or landscaper. Otherwise, you can't be a guard because you don't have ninja training, there's no call for nannies or nursemaids…" Neji sighed. "I suppose you could train to be a medic of a midwife, but…"

"I'll do that!" Hidamori cheered. "With all the kids Naruto's going to be having, I'll never be bored!"

Neji chuckled. "Okay… now, we just need to talk to Hiashi-sama…" He muttered, opening one of the doors. The room was, quite frankly, _huge_… but the lighting and furnishings made it seem quaint nonetheless… The room was rather dark, lit by several candles and low-light lamps, and was lined with books, scrolls and folders on various shelves. One could only imagine that this was where the entire Hyuuga clan was managed from… And there sat the man himself, quietly reading a book. "Hiashi-sama?"

The older man snapped his book shut and stashed it in one of his desk's many drawers, but from what the pair could see, it had something to do with caring for grandchildren… "Yes, Neji? Back already? What is it?"

"Hidamori-chan has decided upon her profession." Neji answered, turning and giving her a slight, lasting bow and letting her pass respectfully. She already knew she was in _way_ over her head…

"H-Hiashi-sama?" She asked, and the man nodded. "I was… wondering if you would mind my training to be a… well, a midwife, sir…"

"And what brought on this decision?" Hiashi asked.

"Well…" Hidamori muttered, fidgeting worse than Hinata. "Hanabi-ch, er… sama and Hinata-sama are going to be wed to Naruto in the next few years, and I thought that, as a midwife, I could be of help to them, and all of Naruto-san's wives…" Honestly, she hadn't spoken to Hiashi himself in _years_… she had no idea what honorifics to use in front of him…

Hiashi nodded. "This seems an admirable goal… Neji! Request that Hokage-sama assign a medic to teach Hidamori-…chan."

Neji smiled; something Hiashi hadn't seen in years… "Yes, Hiashi-sama, right away…" He bowed before swiftly leaving with Hidamori trailing behind him.

Hiashi sighed as he fished out his book again. "Positive reinforcement… hmm…"

---

When Shizune arrived at Naruto's apartment, the door was unlocked… so, she let herself in. Seeing neither hide nor hair of the boy, she began to search, softly calling out his name. When she came to his bedroom, however, her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "N-Naruto-kun!?"

"Un?" He groaned, looking up from his place under Tayuya, who was snuggling against his chest. Both of them were stark naked. "Oh…" He muttered, holding up the jar, which was nearly filled with the murky white liquid. "Erm… some of Tayu-chan's… ehm, _juices_ might've gotten mixed in there too… sorry."

Shizune snatched the jar away, glaring down at the pair. "Naruto… what did we tell you about sleeping with girls that young!?"

"I ain't gonna get pregnant…" Tayuya slurred. "And even if I did, I don't care… I doubt they'd let me be a kunoichi here anyway…" catching Shizune's slightly confused look, she added; "He was screamin' about all that before he got into it…"

Shizune cocked an eyebrow. "And when exactly did he 'get into it'?"

Tayuya chuckled, rising up out of the bed and pulling the blankets aside. "When we finished _round one_ and there was no going back…" The redhead then headed off into the bathroom, paying no heed to the fact that she was completely nude. "If you want to have another go with him, be my guest… by _Kami_ I love his stamina…"

Naruto outright laughed at that. "So, Shizune-chan, whaddya' say?" Naruto asked, getting an odd look of desire and abhorrence from the older woman at the question. "It can only _help_ the chances, right?"

Shizune sighed, undoing her Yukata. "Okay, Naruto-kun… but just once."

---

Half an hour and three rounds later, Tayuya was still waiting for her turn.

---

Tenten was still going over the prior day's happenings as she made her way towards Tsunade's office…

_((Yesterday; training grounds))_

_As she watched Gai and Lee spar once more, she had to wonder where Neji was…_

"_Tenten…" The word caused her to jump and spin in midair to find that it had been Neji who spoke into her ear…_

"_Hey, Neji… uhhm… relative of yours?" Tenten asked, pointing at the Hyuuga girl standing behind him._

"_This is…"_

_Neji was cut off as two green blurs collided with him. "NEJI-KUN!" one yelled._

"_YOU ARE LATE, MY RIVAL!" screamed the other._

_Neji stood, rubbing the side of his face. "As I was saying…"_

"_You aren't going to yell at them for doing something stupid?" Tenten asked._

"_Or explain your tardiness?" The larger of the green men inquired._

"_Or fight me?" The smaller added._

"_Would you all just SHUT UP long enough for me to talk!?" Neji yelled. After a few moments of silence, he continued; "Good… this is my fiancé, Hidamori."_

"_A MARRIAGE SO YOUNG!?" Gai yelled._

"_Neji-san, your flames of youth BURN WITH THE PASSION OF YOUNG LOVE!!!"_

"_Neji… I'm happy for you." Tenten said, smiling as she held out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hidamori."_

_Taking her hand, Hidamori smiled as well. "Likewise… uhhm…"_

"_Tenten… Those two are Gai-sensei and Lee…" Tenten answered before giggling. "Maybe having another girl around for once might lessen the insanity a bit…"_

"_Well, I'll be happy if it does… because she'll be training with us for a while." Neji said. "She's expressed an interest in ninja arts, even though my family only taught her the rudimentary basics."_

"_Yeah… who ever heard of a Hyuuga that can't fight?" Hidamori chimed._

"_THIS IS GOOD!" Gai exclaimed. "TENTEN, HIDAMORI! Hand-to-hand sparring! Tenten lacks skill without weapons, and Hidamori is a civilian Hyuuga whom I assume has only basic knowledge of Jyuuken. Excellent partners!"_

"_Erm… okay…" Hidamori chuckled, barely understanding the man._

"_We'll be over here, then…" Tenten added, leading the other girl away._

"_Neji…" Gai said solemnly. "You know that as a non-ninja, we cannot teach her without…"_

"_I. Don't. Care." Neji muttered venomously. "She will train with us, or I will train with her… your choice."_

_Gai thought it over for a moment. "Why Neji… you've never fought this passionately for anything…" Gai overdramatized his 'Good Guy Pose' nearly blinding Neji in the process. "I shall request authorization from the Hokage myself!!!"_

"_No…" Neji muttered, watching as Hidamori gained the upper hand against Tenten; having temporarily paralyzed her arm. "Hidamori and I will speak to the Hokage about it when next we visit her."_

_---_

Tenten sighed. Listening in on their conversation had taken so much concentration it cost her the fight against Hidamori… _I hope they don't mind me asking Tsunade-sama about it myself… _That, and she was still quite sore… she had no idea how Lee could stand to spar against a Jyuuken user _daily_…

When the weapons mistress opened the door to Tsunade's office, she winced as the Hokage bellowed at her; "What is it!? Get in here!"

Tenten complied, nervously advancing on the older woman's desk. "Tsunade-sama?"

"Oh, Tenten… it's just you." The blonde muttered. "I just can't stand the council today… I've had five visits from them already…" She sighed. "That and I've got a mountain of paperwork… I was planning on screaming my head off at the next poor bastard to walk through that door."

Just then, the door opened, and a kunai lodged itself into the wood, just to the right of Neji's ear. "T-Tsunade-sama…" He whimpered, knowing it was the Hokage herself that threw it. "If this is a bad time…"

"No, Neji… come in." Tsunade muttered. "Sorry about all that… bad day." Neji cautiously entered the room, followed by his fiancé. "Hidamori-chan, too? What's the occasion?"

"Well… maybe Hidamori had better say it." Neji said, standing aside.

"Tsunade-sama…" Hidamori started, bowing. "I would like to request training…"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, listening intently to what the girl had to say. "Go on…"

Hidamori raised her head, looking the older woman in the eye. "I want to be a midwife…"

Tsunade started snickering, and then giggling, followed by chuckling. "Is that all? And here I thought you were going to ask to be my apprentice!"

"So then, you'll find someone to train me?" Hidamori asked eagerly.

"I'll do you one better…" Tsunade said, her giggle-fit sputtering to a halt. "You may not know this, but my apprentice, Shizune, is trying to have a child… if she'll agree to it, I'll have her train you to be her own midwife."

Hidamori would've jumped over the desk and hugged the woman if she wouldn't be tried with who-knows-what and dragged away by ANBU… "That'd be perfect!"

Tenten raised her hand shyly. "I… might need a midwife soon, too…"

Neji eyed his teammate curiously. "You, Tenten? I mean no insult, but… aren't you a little young for motherhood?"

Tenten glared at the boy, a pink tinge on her cheeks. "I meant in a few _years_ kinda' soon!"

Neji just chuckled. "I know. So, have you told Naruto yet?"

Tenten nodded as she answered. "Yeah, I asked him to marry me, and he didn't say no." She shrugged.

"Well then… good for you." Hidamori giggled. "Neji, can we go find Shizune-sensei now?"

Neji nodded, and the two were about to leave before Tenten spoke up. "Hey, wait! Weren't you going to ask about her training with us?"

Neji's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, right… Tsunade-sama, we were also wondering about Hidamori-chan training with me and my Genin cell… since she's not a ninja…"

"You're talking about the prohibition of teaching ninja secrets to civilians, yes?" Tsunade asked, and sighed. "I see no problem with it. I'll see what I can do about setting up a private Genin exam for her in a few months time."

Neji was speechless. Hidamori, on the other hand… "Thank you Tsunade-sama! I don't know how I'll ever repay you!"

"Don't worry about it…" The older woman muttered, waving her off.

When the Hyuuga pair had left, Tenten walked up beside her idol. "You're pretty nice to them for someone who has hundreds of other people to worry about…" She mumbled.

"Well, it's really all about knowing what all you can do as the boss." Tsunade shrugged. "All I need to do is just send a note with a grunt to the right people, and that's done…" By the time she'd finished speaking, she had already scribbled out a memo and held it out to Tenten. "Oh, by the way, would you mind dropping that off with Iruka at the academy? Thanks!"

"Hey…" Tenten groaned. "Not funny…"

Tsunade just chuckled as the girl trudged away, trying to catch up to the young Hyuuga couple to see if they'd keep her company while she ran Tsunade's errand.

---

Shizune sighed as she made her way back to the Hokage tower. Every so often, her hand would unconsciously move to her stomach. _Three years is a long time for a baby to go without a father…_ Her mind strayed as she walked, smiling. _But at least I'm finally going to be a mother…_

"Shizune?" Tsunade asked curiously as the woman walked into her office. "If I do say, you're positively _glowing_…"

This caught her off guard. "G-glowing? I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Oh I think you do…" Tsunade leaned over her desk to whisper conspiratorially with her apprentice. "You slept with him again, didn't you?"

"REEH?!" This had Shizune sputtering nonsense for about a minute before she groaned in defeat and nodded her head.

"It's okay you know…" Tsunade smirked. "Why, when I was your age, me and-"

"TSUNADE-SAMA!" Shizune burst, madly blushing. "I'd… rather not hear about that…"

"I was just kidding Shizune…" Tsunade managed through her laughter. "Lighten up a little! You need a decent sense of humor to be a mom, you know."

Shizune let out something akin to a wistful sigh. "Now I'm not sure if I'm ready…"

Tsunade sent a halfhearted glare at her apprentice. "Shizune…" Before she sighed and her features softened. "No one's ever _ready_ to be a parent… You've just got to jump into it, and hope for the best."

Shizune looked shocked for a moment, before her features became surprisingly apathetic. "Yes, Tsunade-sama…" She said with a small bow.

"Okay, now, did you get it?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama…" She answered, holding up the small jar she'd acquired earlier. "I'll take it to the hospital now." As Shizune turned to leave, she was stopped by the warm voice of her old teacher.

"Shizune… you're going to be a fine mother."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama…"

---

If he would've guessed the weirdest part of his day, being confronted by his four future wives at once was _not _high on his list of possibilities. Yet here he was, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to explain that he was leaving tomorrow morning, and wouldn't return for at least two years.

His day had started simply enough… once Shizune left, Tayuya took hold of his priorities once more, and mere hours later, their intimate moment was rudely interrupted by an elderly man with white hair and Kabuki robes…

_Jiraiya leaned in the window of Naruto's bedroom, the pair completely oblivious to his presence as they continued to cuddle after a particularly draining bout. Naruto laying behind Tayuya, his arms clasped around her waist as she lay facing the far wall with her hands atop his. Luckily for them, the blankets were already obstructing the old man's view of Tayuya's form._

_Smirking, the Toad Sannin took in a deep breath before announcing his presence. "NARUTO!" The boy in question and his lover jumped from the bed instantly, Tayuya taking the blankets and concealing her body with them while Naruto moved to defend her. "My boy, I'm impressed! Barely a teenager and already you've caught such a beauty!"_

_The pair were not amused. "DAMMIT ERO-SENNIN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Naruto roared._

_He blanched at the boy's volume and attitude before he made his rebuttal. "Damned brat, don't you know anything? Put some boxers on if you're not BUSY… you never know when you're going to have to get up and go!"_

"_Well you can get up and GET LOST you old pervert!" Naruto yelled. "As you can PLAINLY see, me and my fiancé were in the middle of something!"_

_Jiraiya's features lost their childish mirth, leaving only the cold weapon that is a war-worn shinobi behind. "So, she's your fiancé?" He asked, turning to Tayuya. "Are you sure about marrying him?"_

_The redhead's embarrassment was swiftly inundated by righteous fury. "What the fuck do you mean by that? Of course I'm fucking sure!" Tayuya growled at the man's audacity._

"_Good." Jiraiya mumbled before he looked up and practically glared into Naruto's azure eyes. "By order of the Hokage, you and I are to leave for an extensive training mission lasting approximately twenty-five to thirty-five months. Declination from this assignment is not permissible."_

"_WHAT!?" Tayuya spat, nearly charging the man to kill him then. "Three years!?"_

"_You are to be at the west gate by ten in the morning. You have until then to pack for the trip or notify anyone of your departure." Jiraiya stated, rising from his sitting position. "I'm sorry." He added, just before vanishing from the windowsill._

"_Ten… tomorrow, Naruto…" Tayuya mumbled, trying to make sense of her emotions._

"_I'm sorry Tayu-chan… I need to go see some people." Naruto sighed, gathering his clothes._

Naruto then made his way from one destination to the next; first Ichiraku's, then the Academy, the Hokage's office to yell at Tsunade once for good measure, and finally the Hyuuga compound.

_Naruto stood in front of the large gates leading into the Hyuuga compound. He silently wondered what he should say to Hinata and Hanabi as the guards standing on either side of the entryway eyed him suspiciously. He'd talked to Hinata, sure… but he'd barely said a dozen words to Hanabi… This was either going to be an interesting experience with two of his fiancés, or a cataclysmic disaster._

_The blonde was rocked from his musings when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. "Naruto-sama, might I inquire as to your business with the Hyuuga?" Neji asked. When Naruto turned he saw his cousin-to-be standing between Tenten and a Hyuuga girl Naruto didn't recognize._

"_I was… actually here to see Hinata and Hanabi…" Naruto muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "But it's good you're here Tenten… I need to talk to you about the same thing, but I… don't really know where you live."_

_Tenten was somewhat taken aback by the fact that she never told Naruto; her own fiancé, where she lived. She never got to voice her thoughts, however, as Hidamori spoke in a somewhat sarcastic tone; "Pretty sad, not knowing where your own woman lives, Naruto-kun."_

_Naruto's abashed gaze fell upon the girl. "Do I know you?" He asked._

"_Naruto-sama… this is my fiancé, Hyuuga Hidamori." Neji said, and she gave a slight bow when introduced._

"_It's a pleasure to meet you…" Naruto returned the bow, causing Tenten, and Neji to a lesser extent, to gape at the fact that Naruto really _could_ be polite if the situation called for it. "But, if you don't mind, I need to talk to Hinata and… Hanabi."_

_Neji caught the pause before he said the younger sister's name. "You are anxious about how to handle your engagement to a complete stranger, aren't you Naruto-sama?" The blonde seemed to wince at being found out. "It is a perfectly natural response to an arranged marriage. Should things go… poorly… you will have the three of us to bail you out."_

_Neji nodded to the guards, who proceeded to open the gates. "No worries." Tenten said as she entwined Naruto's arm with her own and began pulling him inside._

_It took several minutes of searching, but they eventually found Hinata training in one of the Hyuuga's many courtyards. The instant Naruto stepped into the cloister, however, Hinata passed out. Whether it was from Naruto's presence, or Tayuya's sleeper hold, none could tell._

"_T-Tayu-chan? What're you doing here?" Naruto asked, rushing to her side while forgoing the rock paths through the garden._

"_Training. What the fuck's it _look_ like I'm doing?" She spat back while lightly slapping the Hyuuga heiress. "Ohh… you mean what'm I doing HERE… I decided to practice a little Taijutsu with the princess here. Honestly? She fucking sucks."_

_Neji sighed from his place at the back of the group, stepping forward to aid in rousing the girl. "Hinata-sama has never had the drive to train, nor the will to harm another. She is simply too gentle, and lacks confidence in her abilities."_

_When Hinata finally began to stir, everyone gathered around her, Naruto leaning forward to greet her. "Hey, Hina-chan!" She blushed furiously with his face less than four inches from hers, and there was no confusion this time as to why she fainted._

"_Not again…" Tayuya groaned._

_Hidamori nudged Naruto from behind, catching his attention. "Why don't we go find Hanabi-chan while they fix Hinata, ne?" A high-pitched cough alerted them to a small girl clearing her throat behind them. "Oh, Hanabi-chan… watching your sister practice are we?"_

_As the girl glowered at Hidamori while making her way to Naruto's side, the blonde asked; "Did… I miss something?"_

"_No, nothing…" Neji cut in, holding a relatively conscious Hinata as she leaned back on him. "Hanabi-sama just doesn't see eye-to-eye with Hidamori-chan in many regards."_

"_Did you just call me SHORT!?" Hanabi roared._

With everyone now conscious, Naruto stood before his four wives-to-be, and sighed. "First thing's first… Hanabi, I know this was forced on you, and I just want to say that if you don't want to marry me, you don't have to. I'll talk to someone and-"

"Honestly, you're better than I expected…" Hanabi said, catching everyone's eye and looking rather dejected, but never losing the aura of nobility that seemed to flow from every Hyuuga (aside from Hinata) "I always knew that, as the second sister, I would eventually be married off for political reasons… but I'd always thought I'd wind up with some smelly, fat, self-important nobleman or another." She looked up at Naruto with a half-lidded gaze. "You're a lot better than I thought I'd get…"

"So then, everyone's happy." Hidamori shrugged. "That's good…"

"E… yeah…" Naruto muttered, sighing as he contemplated what to say next and deciding to do what always seemed to work anyway… Improvising. Head hung low, he began speaking in a hushed tone. "I know we've all just started… getting used to this… but I've got some bad news. I'm leaving for a few years for training outside the village, and I just wanted all of you to know." Naruto looked up to see everyone but Tayuya gaping at him. "I er, I- Don't hurt me!"

Seeing Naruto flail around, although humorous, Tenten stepped forward to stop him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "We're not mad, it's just… sudden, that's all… We're not going to-"

Tayuya's fist appeared just under Naruto's ribs. "You fucking bastard!"

The blonde collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. "B-but… you already _knew_!"

"Yup, and I've been waiting all fucking morning to do that, hon." She said with a wink.

Hinata immediately ran to Naruto's side, helping him up and checking his 'wound'. "P-please d-don't hit N-Naruto-kun!" She said as loud as she could manage. "He… I b-bet he d-doesn't even _want_ to leave!"

Naruto glanced over at the girl holding him up, slightly amazed. "You're right, Hina-chan… I don't want to leave. This whole thing was Obaa-chan and Ero-Sennin's idea…" He stood on his own, lightly nudging Hinata away from his body so he could do so. "I just know it's what's best, since… _things_ are bound to happen if I stick around, and I… Let's just say I'm not the only one who's not ready for this shit…"

Everyone grew silent at this. Those who knew what he was talking about began looking inward, and those who didn't were contemplating his words. Finally, Tayuya broke the silence. "Yeah, sure… we'll still be here when you get back."

Everyone nodded in agreement, noting that she actually formed a complete sentence without cussing _once_. Tenten was next to speak. "She's right, Naruto… we'll all still be here waiting for you."

Naruto looked on with a dazed expression. They'd be here for him? Waiting for _him_? It was almost like he was dreaming… and he didn't want to wake up. "Girls, I…"

And then he was dragged away by a madly grinning Tayuya, who had him by the collar of his jacket. "Well, it's been fun, but we can save the sappy goodbyes for when he's leaving tomorrow morning. We'll see you by the west gate at sunrise, ne?" She called back waving.

That night, Naruto was forced to wonder who had more stamina; him or the red-haired vixen that enthralled him so.

* * *

For the record, I love oatmeal. The Japanese, however? I'm pretty sure they'd hate the stuff… 

Oatmeal _IS_ healthy, however… and rather cheap if memory serves. Making it an excellent foodstuff for the Branch Family… (Cheap Main House bastards)

Another breakfast tidbit; I don't eat eggs. I'm not vegan, I eat my fair share of cute fuzzy critters, _BUT_, I won't eat eggs. Sure, I'll eat eggs when they're cooked _into_ something, like pastries or other things… but when a dish is made of 10-15 percent egg or more… I don't touch it. (Funny thing, I've noticed that the little 'percent' symbol doesn't work on I just have a problem eating things that never got a chance to live, that's all. (I don't care if they're unfertilized eggs or not… they _could've_ been fertilized, and hatched into a chick instead of being eaten) I'm not going to tell you not to eat eggs, by all means, they're delicious, I'm just sayin' I don't.

Due to its frequent use in this chapter (and subsequent chapters no doubt) and the fact that I myself had to look it up, I'm going to explain what a midwife is. A 'midwife' is someone (usually female) that is trained to essentially be a nanny for an unborn baby… they help prepare the mother for motherhood, and are trained to aid in the delivery of the child and possibly deliver it themselves if a proper doctor isn't available. Often enough, midwives also help take care of the pregnant woman, aiding her in day-to-day activities that become too strenuous for the pregnant woman to do herself. (I am fairly certain that this isn't too common nowadays, (the butler-esque stuff about taking care of the woman) but I'd assume Naruto would have a single midwife devoted to ALL his girls, IE, Hidamori)

(Added in later) I'm sad to report that, all those chapters ago, I misspelled Hidamori's name. The proper spelling is 'Hidamari' but for the sake of fluency (and because frankly, it sounds better) I'm going to stick with Hidamori.

Also, I Beta some stuff for rageofkyubii, so y'might wanna check his stuff out.

You know… sometimes I wonder if I should change one of the genres in any of my fics to 'humor' or 'comedy' or whatever the hell the 'this shit is FUNNY' genre is… I even crack myself up sometimes with my jokes….


	10. A Fond Farewell

YAAAY new chapter!!

I realize that I haven't updated this fic in a long time. I apologize for that. I've been hitting roadblocks the entire way, and I just couldn't finish it for the life of me. So, since I couldn't write in this fic, I started others. I hope you like those too, but I'm not about to forget this fic, which is currently in the lead in everything from number of hits, to alerts and reviews. I've tried everything short of forcing out a shitty chapter just to get a chapter done.

In my personal opinion, I thought you'd all appreciate something a little better than shit. Thus the delays.

The only thing I can say about the hints regarding the guessing is just to recap what I've already said… no filler arcs, and think outside the box. For the last one that everyone can't seem to guess, the best thing to say is that if you keep going down a list of characters, you're never going to get it…

And now; a damn good reason this fic is rated M.

* * *

Naruto awoke, snuggling further into the bosom of his red-haired lover. Tayuya in turn groaned and squirmed in their bed, snuggling into the sheets stained with various bodily fluids from their foray the previous night. The blonde boy sidled up and kissed the girl sweetly on her lips, grinding his body into hers in order to wake her.

"Unn… Naruto?" She mumbled, eyes fluttering open in the morning light. "Hn… I love it when you do that…"

"Hmm… you'll love this even more." He growled, latching mouth over the nape of her neck as he pushed himself into her, intent on giving her the best morning of her life. He was not disappointed when she moaned longingly in response, moving her hips in time with his, wrapping her arms around his neck and lacing her legs behind his.

When he'd released her neck, she pressed her lips to his, her tongue demanding entrance within, and he granted her wish by fervently striking out with his own. His hands gripped her hips, pulling her upwards as he thrust her back down fervently. "Naruto… I love you! _I love you Naru-kun!_" She yelled out as her pleasure reached its peak, dropping the pair down onto the bed.

"And I love you, Tayu-chan…" He answered, locking his lips to hers once more.

"Now, let me return the favor…" She cooed, flipping him onto his back and straddling him, never once letting him leave her as she leaned back, grinding her hips into him. "You're just so _easy_, Naru-kun…" She moaned, pulling a wickedly curved kris from behind her back. Naruto stared up fearfully at the weapon, knowing what it symbolized.

Betrayal…

"Tayu-chan…? What… why?" He asked futilely, watching as a drop of poison left the blade. He couldn't strike back, even if he wanted to. He could easily plunge the blade through her own chest, but he loved her too much to even think of killing her. He'd rather die than raise so much as a finger against her.

"You know, they were right… show the brat so much as an inkling of affection, and he'd be putty in my hands…" She said, before plunging the balefully sinuous blade into his neck…

…causing him to jump up from his place beside her in a cold sweat.

_It was all just… a dream?_ He asked himself, looking down at the beauty that lay beside him, she looked so peaceful when she slept beside him… She could never turn on him like that… could she? _No. Never!_ He mentally shouted, shaking the thoughts from his mind. This made him realize something, however. In his dream, he couldn't stop her. Even in reality, if she wanted to kill him, he doubted he'd be able to kill her instead.

"Mmm… Naruto…" She groaned, leaning towards him and cuddling into his side. "…either fuck my brains out or go back to sleep."

Naruto smirked. _Tactful as always…_ At least it was still the Tayuya he loved. Instead of either option she gave him, he got out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers. He still needed to pack for his trip. _DAMMIT! Why do I always leave this kind of shit for the last minute!?_

Naruto quickly donned his clothes, and snatched a ring of keys from a metal hook haphazardly stuck through the drywall before dashing out the door. His first stop was the Hokage tower. He had some things to say to Tsunade and Shizune, after all. As if it'd become tradition, he bashed the door in with his foot as always. "Obaa-chan…" He mumbled, looking up towards an infuriated Hokage and at her side, a highly startled Shizune. Tucking a fold of paper through the ring of keys, he tossed them to Shizune, and turned around. "Ja…" was all he said as he walked back down the hall, waving behind him unenthusiastically.

"What do you think that was all about?" Shizune asked, looking between the open door and Tsunade.

"Why not see for yourself?" The older woman replied, pointing to the keys, or rather, the note held between the metal that kept the keys on it.

Shizune carefully unfolded the paper, and read it aloud. "The estate is just as much mine as it is yours, now that you're carrying my child. I want you and the girls to move in…" Shizune started tearing up before mumbling out the last words. "…so I have a family to come home to."

Tsunade smiled, her eyes shining passionately. "Well, I think we've got a few kunoichi to gather up, don't you?"

--

Naruto quickly made his way back home after first stopping by several shops for extra gear. Tayuya was still in bed, although noticeably more _awake_ than she was previously, even if it was barely half so. "Naruto-kun, what's the rush? Why did you just run out on me like that?" She asked him, stretching out on the bed seductively.

By all the gods he could remember ever vaguely hearing about, he _hated_ how easy it was for her to play with his mind like that.

"I'm late already, and I had to say some last things to the Hokage…" Naruto explained, setting the bags beside his travel pack and loading his purchases into it. "Now, would you mind helping me get ready to leave?"

"No offense, but I never wanted you to go in the first place." Tayuya deadpanned. Nevertheless, she still pulled herself from the bed and after a few minutes, began stuffing clothes into a second bag for him. After she'd packed a good three outfits, she stopped and hung her head. "Why do you have to go?" She started to sniffle audibly, and tears hung from her eyes. "Fuck, why can't you just stay!?"

Naruto sighed. He didn't want to talk about this, but he knew he had to. "Because it's for the best. You know why I have to go…"

"No I don't!" She screamed, turning back on him so that he could see her tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, flailing her arms around for emphasis they both knew she didn't need. "I don't know why the fuck you have to leave! You want to keep us from getting pregnant!? Use a fucking condom! You don't want to hurt our feelings by marrying half the fucking village? FINE! I'll marry the other half!" By this time, she had already begun to sway on her feet, her rage driving her to dizziness as it passed into sorrow. Naruto shot forward and clutched the red-head to his chest as she weakly pulled him closer. "You're the only one who's ever cared about me… please, if you can't stay… take me with you. I can't be without you for that long, I… I _need_ you!"

He felt horrible for what he was about to say, but he knew it needed to be said. "Tayuya, you can't come with me." She looked up at him with wide, tear-filled eyes… almost like a kicked puppy. Naruto was tearing himself apart inside. "We'll be on the run for most of the trip. There are a lot of people that would want me dead, and would go through the whole village if they had to… I'm not strong enough to protect you yet… so please, stay here, away from me. By the time I'm back, you won't even notice I've been gone, okay?" They both had to choke back sobs at that. He was lying, and he knew it. But, if it helped along what needed to happen, then so be it.

"Promise me… when you get back… you'll never leave me behind again." She growled out, glaring down at his chest to avoid his eyes.

Naruto nodded. "I swear it, Tayuya… After I get back, I'm taking you with me wherever I go, no matter what." With that, he pushed her chin up and gently kissed her. After they parted, he grinned. "But, you'll need to train up too. I can't always keep you safe, y'know."

"Don't worry… I'll be the fucking best there ever was by the time you get back, too." She said fiercely.

Slinging his bags over his shoulder, he smiled… a soft, genuine smile. "I'll hold you to it."

--

After he left, Naruto went by rooftop to Ichiraku's. Setting the bags off to the site as he took his favorite stool, Naruto called out. "Hey, gimme three of everything, old man…"

"Naruto? What's the occasion?" Old man Ichiraku asked, even as he started on the ramen.

"I'm leaving for a while… big mission. Won't be back for a few years." There were a pair of resounding 'clangs' as the two Ichiraku dropped what they were holding.

"Naruto! You're going to be gone for _years_!?" Ayame yelled, even as she sped around the counter to envelope the boy in a surprisingly bone-crushing hug.

"Yeah, so I need to get my fill now, eh?" Naruto choked out, still trying to wriggle free from the girl.

"Well then…" Teuchi started, groaning as he bent down to pick up the dropped utensils and deposited them in the sink. "I guess today is on the house."

Naruto's eyes went wide at this. "What? That's just too much ramen! You'd go out of business!"

The old man chuckled. "Nah, we'd be fine, as long as you come back soon enough… call it a going away present."

The blonde shook his head softly, smiling as he did so. "I'll be gone for more than two years… but okay."

The ramen chefs both smiled brightly at the boy's enthusiasm, even as the first bowl was set before him. An hour later, he'd downed twice as much ramen as usual, and saying a quick goodbye.

"Hmm? What's this?" Ayame muttered, moving one of the bowls aside, revealing enough bills to cover more than half of what he'd eaten. Smiling, the girl picked up the 'tip' and held it close to her chest. "Naruto…"

--

As Naruto made his way to the gate, he found a sight that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Tayuya was standing beside Tenten and Hinata, both of them laughing at something the redhead had said. Hanabi stood off behind Hinata, giggling to herself. Off to the side, Hiashi stood glowering beside a pair of branch Hyuuga, one of which he could tell was Neji, obviously his and the girls' escorts. Shizune smiled as she watched Tsunade bicker with Jiraiya, and the rest of the rookies, along with team Gai and the other Jounin watched the various spectacles.

One by one, everyone turned to look in the direction of the blonde boy, whose eyes had already begun to brim with tears. Slowly, he made his way to them. When he was within earshot, he started choking on his words. "Everyone… you all…"

"HA! Like we'd leave an idiot like you to slip off without your goodbye beating!" Kiba barked out, catching Naruto in a playful headlock.

"Leaving already? So troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered, earning him a smack from Ino. "Troublesome women…" …and then another punch.

"Tayu-chan?" Naruto asked, turning to the girl. "What… how?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? We're giving you a proper goodbye you fuck-shit!" She responded, lightly smacking him over the head playfully. She then draped her arms over his shoulders and leaned into him. "You remember the promise you made me, right?"

Naruto in turn, wrapped his arms around her waist, tenderly pressing his lips to hers. "Of course, Tayu-chan. I never go back on my word."

She nodded, before kissing him again and backing away before a pink and brown blur crashed into him. "You and me are going to have a lot of _fun_ when you get back, you hear me?" Tenten cooed, clutching the boy to her chest. "You're a good guy, Naruto… You're going to be a good man someday, but so help me if you're not I'll rip your fucking balls off myself!" She yelled, giving him a peck on the lips before bounding off to stand next to Tayuya, who'd begun giggling at the start of his plight.

'_I swear, those two are rubbing off on each other…'_ Naruto groaned, even as the Ino-Shika-Cho trio made their way over. Almost immediately, an outstretched hand was shot towards Naruto's abdomen, only to stop two inches from his stomach.

"You may have been troublesome…" Shikamaru said, glancing down at his offered hand. "…But you're a good friend, Naruto. It won't be the same without you."

Naruto took his friend's hand, gripping it tightly. "It'll be weird not seeing you all every day, too, but I'll be back eventually." He patted Shikamaru on the shoulder, nodding to his words. "Keep yourselves safe, so I can see everyone again, ne?"

"Don't worry about us, Naruto." The Akimichi boy said, holding out an unopened bag of chips. "A going-away present…"

Naruto slowly reached out to take the bag… barbecue potato chips. "Uhhm… thanks, Chouji. You want me to save you the last chip?" He asked playfully.

"And have it come back all stale and bland? No thanks." Chouji chuckled at the reactions of his teammates. Chouji giving up the last chip to someone else!? The world must be ending. No one noticed Asuma casually glance around for an appropriate place to duck and cover in case the sky decided to collapse on top of them.

Ino was the first to shake herself out of the shock. "We'll all miss you, Naruto." She stepped forward to give her fellow blonde a quick hug before backing off quickly, else she incur the wrath of his future wives.

Kiba and Shino were the next to walk up, followed by Kurenai. Akamaru yipped up at Naruto, who stooped to pet the puppy before talking to Kiba. "You know, I'm going to miss you guys."

Kiba gave off a feral grin. "It'll be too damn boring without you here." Akamaru yipped in agreement.

Naruto nodded with a chuckle, turning to Shino. "You know, I still think you're creepy."

Shino raised an eyebrow. "And I continue to consider you rather annoying…"

The blonde let out a laugh before holding out his hand to the bug-user. "You take care of Hinata while I'm away, you hear?"

Shino took his hand, shaking it lightly. "And you take care of her when you return."

They shared a nod as Kurenai smiled at the sight. "You got it."

A pair of green blurs assaulted the blonde as Team 8 made their departure. "NARUTO-KUN!" They yelled.

"We shall protect Tenten-san until your return and even long afterward!" Lee yelled, giving his 'good guy pose'.

"You just be sure to grow into a strong man worthy of our beautiful Tenten! I am sure you shall flourish under Jiraiya-sama's tutelage!" Gai added, matching his student.

Naruto paled. "You two DO realize that Jiraiya is quite possibly the single most perverted man in the world, right? He _does_ write Icha-Icha, after all…"

The two shared a glance, before leaping off to reeducate 'the unyouthful one'… Naruto honestly pitied Jiraiya at the moment, but couldn't hold back a snicker at his expense. Even Tsunade seemed amused as she watched the white-haired man run from the green blurs.

The Hyuuga delegation was just about to move forward as something in the distance caught their attention. A silver-haired man with a mask covering the lower half of his face, and his Hitai-ite covering his left eye… the man walked with crutches, and had a nurse constantly fussing over him, trying to get him to return to the hospital. When he'd finally made it up to Naruto, he smiled lazily under his mask. "Yo, Naruto…"

The blonde smiled in response. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei… you're feeling better?"

The man nodded. "Much better, the crutches are just a formality…"

His nurse interjected sourly. "You'd fall flat on your face without them…"

Kakashi scowled. "Naruto, this is Kimiko, she's been taking care of me during my stay at the recovery ward." The man then leaned forward conspiratorially to whisper in Naruto's ear. "I've been thinking about doing a little 'clan rebuilding' of my own… I'm going to ask her out once I'm released from the hospital."

The woman, being a Chuunin medic, heard every word. "Who would want to go out with _you_?" She huffed, trying to hold down her blush.

"She likes me." Kakashi said, nodding sagely. Again, he leaned forward to whisper. "I bet she thinks about me at night when she-" His words were cut off by a hard punch to the back of his head from an irate nurse.

"That's quite enough, Hatake-san…" Kimiko said as she began dragging the wounded Jounin back to the hospital by his leg.

A giggling Shizune walked up beside Naruto, trailing a familiar Hyuuga girl behind her. "She does actually like Kakashi-san, y'know. I think they'd make a cute couple…"

"Hehee, I think so too…" The girl added, turning to Naruto. "Hey, remember me?"

Naruto nodded. She looked a lot like a mix between Hinata and Hanabi, but she covered her forehead with a dark blue linen cloth. "Hidamori-san, right?"

She nodded cheerfully. "Yup! I'm Shizune's apprentice!"

"That's great, Hidamori." Naruto said, still smiling.

"And Naruto…" Shizune added, stepping closer to him. "We've confirmed it, I'm pregnant!" She cheered.

Naruto couldn't be happier. He flung himself into Shizune, holding her close to him. "That's wonderful! Now I know I don't want to leave…"

Shizune sighed. In truth, they didn't know. She just wanted to give Naruto some good news before he left, something to be happy about. "We both know you need to go, Naruto-kun."

"Don't worry! I'll take care of everything!" Hidamori chimed in happily, giving Naruto a watered-down 'good guy pose' for good measure.

"I suppose I can help too…" Tsunade said as she walked up beside Shizune. "Although my position as Hokage will keep me pretty tied up…"

Naruto chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do your best, Obaa-chan."

Tsunade growled. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!?"

The blonde boy waved his hands in front of himself defensively. "Wait, wait! All I mean is that Shizune is like a daughter to you, right?" Naruto asked, causing the older blonde to pause. "So, our kid would be like… your grandkid, right? Now I have a good reason to call you Obaa-chan!"

Tsunade smiled thoughtfully. "I suppose you do…" She then thwacked him over the head for good measure. "But I _still_ don't like being called that!"

A muffled cough was heard from behind her, and when she turned, she saw Hinata standing there, with Hanabi still hanging onto her older sister's jacket. "E-excuse me Tsunade-sama… M-may I speak with N-Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah! Move it Obaa-sama!" Hanabi yelled from behind her sister, sticking her tongue out at the Godaime.

"Why you little…!" Tsunade started, before taking a deep breath and composing herself. "Yes, Hinata, you may…"

When the elder Hyuuga sister walked up to the blonde boy, the younger followed in her shadow. "N-Naruto-kun? I… I'd just l-like to tell you… I l-love you, and g-good luck." Hinata then leaned in, and pecked his cheek. Surprisingly, when she did so, Hanabi stepped forward and stretched on her toes in order to kiss his other cheek.

And then the younger girl kicked him in the shin. "And if you don't come back, I'll kill you myself for hurting Onee-chan!" Hanabi roared at Naruto, who was holding his bruising leg protectively.

"Well, she's a bit of a firecracker, isn't she?" Tsunade mused. Neji scoffed at the joke, but couldn't help but smile with Hidamori on his arm. Hiashi stood forward next, which gave the blonde boy reason to audibly gulp as he looked up at the man who glared down at him.

"Hello Hiashi-sama…" Naruto choked out.

"Naruto-san…" The Hyuuga elder growled. "You are taking both of my daughters from me… just know that if you hurt either of them, you will pay dearly for it."

Naruto nodded, and the man walked away. If there was one thing Hiashi was good at, it was playing the 'scary father'…

With all of the goodbyes said, and Jiraiya returning after having lost the green duo, the pair set off toward the horizon.

--

"Here…" Jiraiya muttered, holding out a slightly worn letter to his charge. "It's from Tsunade… it's about this whole marriage thing."

Naruto glanced down at the letter in his hands reverently for several minutes as they walked, before taking out a kunai and opening it.

'_Uzumaki Naruto, to ensure the continuation of your bloodline, we the council… political bullshit, propaganda…_' Naruto stopped walking for a moment, going over what he'd just read in his mind. He honestly thought it was funny… '_Five women by fifteen years old_' He had himself a quiet chuckle at that.

The old pervert must've been rubbing off on him.

* * *

This being the timeskip, I felt it'd be a good point to stop and make sure I update my other fics first. So I guess I'm putting it on hold. I should really update UE, just to let people know it's not dead…

I like to meet a 4000 word minimum for every chapter I write _not_ _including_ the Author's Notes. Sadly, I couldn't _quite_ meet that… (Current count is approx. 3,500 words without AN, just over 4K with them)

One thing I'd like to point out is the blade Tayuya used to 'kill' Naruto in his nightmare. A kris is usually depicted as a sinuous (winding or serpentine) dagger almost exclusively used in thrusting or stabbing motions. (This is not the sole design of the kris, however, as the view of the weapon has been polluted by its use in movies and such media. Almost half of all kris blades were straight, contrary to their wicked multi-curved counterparts) the purpose of the kris is a piercing weapon, as such, one needs to either be stealthy or personally know the target for it to be used to its utmost potential. This gave rise to the use of the kris in media by 'vengeful women' on cheating husbands, disloyal lovers, all sorts of men. In truth, the blade was used primarily by men in combat as a thrusting weapon, or as a defensive blade in the off hand. In media, the blade is often poisoned to add to its lethality. Honestly, look up 'kris' in any visual database like google images or Wikipedia if you still can't figure out what I'm talking about. I guarantee you'll be surprised how many you've seen or heard about.

And yes, she was still fucking him when she killed him.

MOVING ON NOW…

After consulting my Beta, Palookalord, who came up with the Shinzenbigan in the first place (and subsequently allowed me to use it in this fic after I asked him) told me I made an error, and that they _CAN_ see chakra, _starting at level two_. Since Naruto only has level one until now, that's not a problem, and I shouldn't need to re-write anything. I'm just saying it here that I screwed up. I'm man enough to admit it.

Also, I'm going to be letting people take my unused fic ideas for themselves from now on. This means Anything I _MIGHT_ have been planning on writing, but know I'm never going to get around to. This means that _**ANYTHING I'VE POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF IS OFF-LIMITS!!**_ Other than those, I'd be happy to hand off just about anything, (Including ideas I don't have up in my profile) provided that I see a sample of your work and it meets my expectations for quality. (That means having a fic of your own and me reading it to see if I want you writing my stuff)


	11. Chapter 11

Okay. I've tried. I really have. I just can't find the spark to write anymore. Maybe I'll pick it up again later, like when college isn't eating up all of my writing time anyway, but for now...

Consider this fic discontinued.

I know, I promised it'd get done, but hey... my GPA comes first.


End file.
